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Author Message
25 new of 404 responses total.
brown
response 302 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 14 09:01 UTC 1998

actually (um re:299)
can't say i still don't take notice to ( for ex:) lesbians kissing..
well, i notice ANY PDA's to some extent
but it isn't the "norm" for the general public
(for lack of better words)
and even most of my female friends (most being gay/bi) 
are rather discrete.
hmm, Can't say what i feel or think really, just that i take
notice..
I'm living downtown "boystown"
Chicago's version ofgreenwich villiage basically
rainbow flags fly for more than a mile from my place on Northalstead
it is impossible to find a bar or store that doesn't  um 'cater' to
gays yet every weekend on my way home from work i "notice" the boys
on their way home from the bars
<no snickering>
o.k. so at this point i think i lost track of ANY point i may have
been trying to make but ah-well ;)
joe
response 303 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 14 16:39 UTC 1998

Measures of Central Tendancies are not very useful when trying to determine
the average sexual orientation of a population since it is completely unknown
just how many people in this world are homo, or bi. It's also nearly
impossibly to obtain an unbiased, totally random selection of the population.
Sexual orientation is a personal issue for most people and a lot of people
really don't like to share that info with others. I remember working for
Greenpeace some years ago. Management decided to do a diversity survey, but
the only minority that was excluded was a catogory for gays and lesbians. I
was a little pissed so I called the woman that did the research and she
explained to me that she originally created a catagory for gays & lesbians,
but as she was calling each of the offices around the country, no one would
give her information on how many gays & lesbians worked for the country
because they didn't know, nor would anyone step forward to be counted. I
instructed her to redo the survey and include a catagory even if I was the
only person on the list. She eventually did, but I thought it was a bit
ridiculous that out of an organization with over 10,000 employees throughout
30 different offices throughout the country, including San Francisco, that
there was only one openly gay person-- and Greenpeace, the world's largest
environmental organization, was one of the most liberal and progressive
organizations on the planet.

The point to all of this is that the power of statistical validity if greatly
reduced with a population selection that does not represent the true
population. Now, having said that, back to the regular discussion...
bru
response 304 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 14 20:58 UTC 1998

or maybe there aren't as many gay people as you wish there were...
joe
response 305 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 15 18:40 UTC 1998

well, I've never bought the "one out of ten" theory, but I'd like to believe
that there's more of us than 1 out of 10,000. This is just a prime example
of how skewed statistical research can get. Imagine how impossible it would
be to get accurate data on how many minorities lived in the US if all of them
were somehow able to disguise themselves as Anglo Americans. The data would
be useless.
bookworm
response 306 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 17 05:59 UTC 1998

For the sake of those of us with short attention spans.  Could I convince you
guys to keep it to less than a page, please?
lumen
response 307 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 17 07:26 UTC 1998

re #302: Wow, I've gotta see this place..

re #303: I think *everyone, everywhere* has their biases, hiding places,
myths, etc. etc.  Even minorities and minority-friendly groups exclude some
people.

i.e. it is interesting to note that even people of color have derogatory terms
for those of mixed ethnicity
brighn
response 308 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 17 15:12 UTC 1998

#306: Do what I do. Skip the long posts. There's no reason why everyone should
have to read everything posted here... it's not like this is a job or
anything. It's a conversation, and, as with real life, you might miss things
that some people have to say, or find them uninteresting. Life goes on.
brown
response 309 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 18 07:53 UTC 1998

sorry brighn, did you say something?
brighn
response 310 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 18 17:48 UTC 1998

I may have had a technical problem... post #309 was blank.
Did anyone else have that problem? ;}
keesan
response 311 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 18 23:40 UTC 1998

Just got around to reading this very long discussion.  I respect Kenton for
supporting his beliefs, particularly as they differ from those of most of the
other participants in this conference (in other words, they are, at least for
grex, 'abnormal').  Kenton, if you are still around, could you explain to us
how you happened to have opinions on homosexuals when you say you never knew
any?  Where did you get your facts?  I suspect they may be close to majority
opinion for people where you live (very rural Pennsylvania), in which case
this is a valuable chance for people in grex to actually have a civil (most
of the time) discussion with someone trying to explain the reasons for such
opinions.  I also strongly suspect that if Kenton actually knew as many
homosexuals as the average person in Ann Arbor (and knew that he knew them),
his opinions would change.
        To draw a parallel, Kenton was a highly active participant in the
dowsing discussion (a few agoras ago, linked to paranormal).  He grew up in
a society where it was normal to dowse, and began dowsing from an early age.
Rane, on the other hand, who does not know any dowsers personally (at least
not any close friends or relatives), does not believe dowsing even exists,
or if it does, a rod going down in someone's hands is something they do by
choice.  I thought dowsing was a big hoax until a few years ago, because of
the silly stuff I read about angels and earth spirits and dowsing for lost
keys and the like.  That was until Jim, who has never lied to me, dowsed on
his very first try, and consistently, even with his eyes shut.  He has no idea
why it works for him and not for me.  I will probably never learn to dowse,
Jim learned immediately, other people may be able to learn after a while.
Similarly, some people have always had homosexual feelings, some never will,
and some may have them only if exposed to certain environments.  
        I think it is wonderful that there is a such a broad range of
individual talents and features, that is what has allowed humankind to spread
into so many different environments.  Even if one feature, say the ability
to dowse or to develop a strong emotional and physical attachment to a member
of the same sex, is not particularly advantageous in most environments, in
the long run is has obviously been beneficial to society, since it persists.
(Schizophrenia, Tay-Sachs, sickle-cell anemia, and some other diseases also
benefit society under certain conditions, just not the individual.)
        Rane, I suggest that some day you watch Jim dowsing, and Kenton, I
suggest that you take the time to read the discussions in the glb conf, in
order to collect more facts on which to base your opinions.
        I also thought I did not know any homosexuals until I came to Ann Arbor
(where this is not something to hide), but then one day my mother mentioned
that her best friend's son, who had gotten divorced, had AIDS and was living
with another man.  And a friend from high school mentioned that his brother,
who had gotten divorced (in both cases there were children), had move to
Provincetown (a gay community on the tip of Cape Cod).  Which all goes to show
that you can't spot a gay person unless they want to be spotted.  I have known
lots of men with mannerisms and interests closer to the norm for women, and
vice versa for women, and most of them were not homosexual.
        Sorry for the long entry, but it is my only one.  And I want to say
that I am glad that Kenton has been willing to tackle most of grex in defense
of what he believes to be right, just as I am glad that Rane persisted in
challenging just about everything I said in dowsing - it gets people thinking.
rcurl
response 312 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 19 05:04 UTC 1998

Watching Jim douse wouldn't prove anything as there are not time and
resources to set up a double blind experimental test. No dowser has
ever passed one, however, so I would be properly skeptical.
senna
response 313 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 19 07:50 UTC 1998

Oh, goodness, not THIS discussion again.
rcurl
response 314 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 19 17:55 UTC 1998

I think I should have spelled it dowse. I might be interested in seeing
Jim douse.  8^}
keesan
response 315 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 19 19:12 UTC 1998

While we are at setting up experiments, how about one in which Jim dowses for
gays, blindfolded?  Or a statistical analysis of the relative percentages of
dowsers who are and are not gay?
brighn
response 316 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 19 21:31 UTC 1998

One thing about finding water when I'm dousing though, it's 100% reliable.
Whenever I've doused, I've found water. In fact, the water had been in my
hands, and has been doing the dousing. =}
senna
response 317 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 20 01:03 UTC 1998

Hahahahaha
lumen
response 318 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 20 06:12 UTC 1998

 :P
remmers
response 319 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 20 12:55 UTC 1998

Subsequent banter aside, I though Sindi's resp:311 was excellent. It
always amuses me when people assert that they "don't know any
gay people".  They probably know a number but are simply unaware
that they're gay. This speaks to some pretty prevalent erronoeous
stereotypes about what gay people are "like". In my less enlightened
days I held to some of those stereotypes myself. My enlightenment was
quite similar to that described by Jan Wolter in an earlier response.
kenton
response 320 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 22 03:28 UTC 1998

I guess that many people who claim to be open mined are fooling themselves.
I have known some to do things that were against their "normal" way of
thinking, just to prove they weren't predudiced.  Could I legislate a
prohibition of homosexuality, I wouldn't waste my time.  Change must come from
the heart.  Can I carry on a normal (normal for the majority) man to man
relationship with a homosexual man?  Yes, as long as he does not come out of
the closet.  Can some of the readers here carry on a relationship with me
inspite of my strong opinions about homosexuality?   Well???
mta
response 321 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 22 15:08 UTC 1998

As long as it doesn't come up, yes.
brighn
response 322 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 22 17:56 UTC 1998

My inability to carry on a relationship with Kenton would not be stemmed in
his homophobia.
i
response 323 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 22 19:54 UTC 1998

Somehow the `can't have a normal man-to-man relationship with an out gay'
in #320 strikes me as odd.  Is this like `can't have a normal person-to-
person relationship with a woman', or `can't have a normal friendship with
a Jew', or ???

Would it make a difference, kenton, if the homosexual man was really 
committed elsewhere, so he had no more sexual interest in you than you
have in, say, Barbara Bush?  
kenton
response 324 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 23 01:25 UTC 1998

Good question.  Perhaps, I would be ashamed to be seen with a homosexual. 
But, I doubt that.  As a general rule, I don't care what people think of me or
my actions.   I am, of course, speaking of my personal life.

Paul, your response of 322 puzzles me, because I have neither a fear of nor
hatred for homosexuals, mainly just curiousity.   Now a murderer would be a
different matter,.....maybe.
keesan
response 325 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 23 05:48 UTC 1998

Kenton, have you ever had any personal contact with someone you knew was
homosexual?  I think you said you had not, so how do you know how you would
react?  
md
response 326 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 23 12:46 UTC 1998

Apropos being seen with a gay friend:

I used to have lunch a couple of times a week with a gay friend
when I lived in NYC.  He was a "Village People" sort of gay, if
you know what I mean.  Very macho looking but *too* macho, what
they used to call a "clone."  No one looking at him would have
any doubt as to his sexual orientation in those days.  It never
bothered me to be seen with him -- he was a nice guy and an old
childhood friend of mine and we'd been buddies forever.  One day,
however, we were on our way to a restaurant, joking and laughing,
and out of the corner of my eye I noticed my ex-shrink walking past 
us.  He'd been staring openly at me and my friend.  This was a
man whom I'd regaled for almost a year with tales of heterosexual 
woe -- the breakup of my first marriage, several false starts on 
new relationships with New York women.  I'd terminated "therapy"
with him, which had consisted mainly of gripe sessions anyway, 
a few weeks earlier when I'd finally hit it off with a woman in 
my building, and I was still feeling slightly guilty about it.  
"Oh, shit," I said, "that guy was my ex-shrink."  My friend 
practically collapsed with laughter.  "I love it!  Now he's 
thinking, 'What did I do to that patient?!?'"
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