response 25 of 46:

Oct 25 06:20 UTC 2000

'so long as no crimes are committed' - like perjury?

response 27 of 46:

Oct 25 15:13 UTC 2000

There is no legal documentation which contains the word "sanctity." That word
was bandied around during the development of the DOMA.

There were also no legal arguments put forth that explained the DOMA on
non-religious grounds.

*shrug* The DOMA, and vouchers, have an obvious appeal to the religious Right.
I"m not sure why you're deriding me for objecting to any obviously
religiously-motivated legislation here, while objecting to any obviously
religiously-motivated legislation elsewhere, unless it's just to pick fights
with me.

response 29 of 46:

Oct 25 19:59 UTC 2000

Actually, there's a Commandment specifically about perjury (NOT lying).
;}

response 31 of 46:

Oct 25 22:21 UTC 2000

Commandment 9: Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
According to www.bethelcog.org, This commandment is intended to protect one
against defamation of character and to uphold an honest man's reputation. 

The essence is more in line with perjury than with generic lying. There's
nothing in the Commandment that requires self-incrimination.

commandment 8 is about theft. Make sure to get the numbers right before you
scold me on OT law.

response 33 of 46:

Oct 26 00:16 UTC 2000

        Hey, I had those for breakfast!  Cracked stone tableties!  They're
delicious.

response 35 of 46:

Oct 26 02:44 UTC 2000

/a/d/r/drew/10cmd.god

response 37 of 46:

Oct 26 15:33 UTC 2000

This is the file:
*** The Ten Commandments ***

1. Atheism, and membership in non-Judaic-Christian faiths, prohibited.
   Membership in a Judaic-Christian faith other than Roman Catholicism
   is highly suspect.

2. Use of the words _shit_, _piss_, _fuck_, _cunt_, _cocksucker_,
   _motherfucker_, and _tits_ prohibited.

3. Church attendance required on Sundays and designated Holy Days.

4. Obedience to parents and/or legal guardians required.

5. Homicide and abortion prohibited. (Genocide through biosphere overload,
   however, is permissible.)

6. Sex, sexual pleasure and enjoyment, and sexual stimulation of any kind,
   without proper authorization (e.g. marriage licence) prohibited.

7. Theft prohibited.

8. Lying prohibited. (Self-incrimination mandatory.)

9. Envy of others for their wives prohibited.

10. Envy of others for their possessions prohibited.

Penalty for non-compliance of most Commandments is a term in Purgatory, the
duration of which is dependent on the frequency and severity of the offense.
Penalty for non-compliance with Commandments 1, 5, and 6 is eternity in
Hell.
  
---

Yes, there are multiple interpretations. These don't resemble any of the
commonmost versions.

(2) I wasn't aware that any of those were standard names for YHWH. Next time
I'm in a Christian church, I'll be sure to raise up my arms and beg for the
guidance of that Cocksucker.

(3) the Jewish Sabbath is Saturday. There is no requirement for Holy Days,
beyond the weekly observance, in the commonmost versions of these
Commandments. There is a seaparte set of Commandments that specify Holy Days.

(4) Fair enough

(5) Illegal homicide is illegal. The most circular of the Commandments. While
abortion is not specifically mentioned, the longer code that Moses receives
does provide a punishment for causing a miscarriage: The father of the child
may set a punishment, and the courts may set a fine.

(6) We've had this discussion elsewhere. That's not the Jewish definition of
adultery. Sex between individuals who do not happen to be married to anyone
at all is not prohibited by this Commandment.

(7) Fair enough.

(8) I've already responded to that one.

(9) That's not a Commandment

(10) Fair enough.

(1) First sentence is accurate.

You're missing the Second Commandment, which explains why all your numbers
are off. This is what's provided by
http://www.goarch.org/access/orthodoxfaith/commandments.html

I am the Lord thy God, ... Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images.
Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain 
Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy 
Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long.
Thou shalt not kill.
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Thou shalt not steal
Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house.


Old Testament, Exodus 20,1-17.

Also, Judaism doesn't have a Purgatory, nor do most Protestants... that's a
Catholic construct, which has been adopted by a few Protestant paths, I'm
sure.
 
I realize Drew's list is intended for humor/sarcasm value, but I think it's
also fair to point out that his interpretations do not match the intent or
the letter of those Commandments.

response 39 of 46:

Oct 26 18:16 UTC 2000

Let's stop with the religion stuff please?  And if you are point out catholics
you have to do the Orthodox and Roman Catholic.  You're half right, greg. 
That's one of the "reasons" the catholic church split (in quotes because the
actual story of the split is damn funny)  Protestants split from Roman
Catholicism, so then you have a whole BUNCH more "reasons" that things are
different.  Then you look at the Protestant splits, and there are more
"reasons"...

response 41 of 46:

Oct 26 22:13 UTC 2000

I'm sorry, but the last few responses made me laugh out loud.  =)  This is
hilarious.

I think you mean Byzantine, not Orthodox Catholic.

response 43 of 46:

Oct 26 22:24 UTC 2000

Ok, it's Exodus 34. Here it is, because I've amused birdy this far, why stop?
Exodus 34: Next Chapter 

The New Tablets of the Covenant

34:11 And the Lord said to Moses, "Cut out2 two tablets of stone like the
first, and I will write3 on the tablets the words that were on the first
tablets which you smashed. 34:2 And be prepared4 in the morning, and go up
in the morning to Mount Sinai, and station yourself5 for me there on the top
of the mountain. 34:3 And no man is to come up with you, nor let any man be
seen throughout the mountain, nor let the flocks or the herds graze before
that mountain." 34:4 So Moses6 cut out two tablets of stone like the first;7
and early in the morning he went up8 to Mount Sinai, just as the Lord had
commanded him; and he took in his hand two tablets of stone. 

34:5 And the Lord descended in the cloud and stood with him there; and he made
proclamation of the Lord by name.9 34:6 And the Lord passed by before him and
proclaimed:10 "The Lord, the Lord,11 the compassionate and gracious12 God,
slow to anger,13 and abounding in loyal love and faithfulness,14 34:7 keeping
loyal love for thousands,15 forgiving iniquity, and transgression and sin.
But he by no means leaves the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity16 of
the fathers on the children and on the children's children, to the third and
fourth generation." 

34:8 And Moses quickly bowed17 to the ground, and worshiped. 34:9 And he said,
"If now I have found favor in your sight, O Lord, let my Lord18 go among us,
for it is a stiff-necked people; and pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take
us for your inheritance." 

34:10 And he said, "I am going to make19 a covenant; before all your people.
I will do wonders such as have not been done20 in all the earth, nor in any
nation. And all the people among whom you are will see the work of the Lord,
for it is a fearful thing that I am doing with you.21 

34:11 Keep22 what I am commanding you this day. I am going to drive out23
before you the Amorite, the Canaanite, the Hittite, the Perizzite, the Hivite,
and the Jebusite. 34:12 Be careful not to make24 a covenant with the
inhabitants of the land where you are going, lest it become a snare25 among
you. 34:13 But you must destroy their altars, smash their images, and cut down
their Asherah poles.26 34:14 For you must not worship27 any other god,28 for
the Lord, whose name29 is Jealous, is a jealous God. 34:15 Be careful30 not
to make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land, for when31 they
prostitute themselves32 to their gods and sacrifice to their gods, then you
will be invited,33 and you will eat from his sacrifice; 34:16 and you then
take34 their daughters for your sons, and their daughters prostitute
themselves to their gods, they will make your sons prostitute themselves to
their gods. 34:17 You must not make yourselves molten gods. 

34:18 You must keep the Feast of Unleavened Bread. For seven days35 you must
eat unleavened bread, as I commanded you; do this36 at the appointed time of
the month Abib, for in the month Abib you came out of Egypt. 

34:19 Every firstborn37 of the womb belongs to me, even every firstborn38 of
your cattle that is a male,39 whether ox or sheep. 34:20 Now the firstling40
of a donkey you may redeem with a lamb, but if you do not redeem it, then
break its neck.41 You must redeem all the firstborn of your sons. 

34:21 On six days42 you may labor, but on the seventh day you must rest;43
in the plowing time and in the harvest44 you are to rest.45 

34:22 And you must observe46 the Feast of Weeks-the first fruits of the
harvest of wheat-and the Feast of Ingathering at the end47 of the year. 34:23
At three times48 in the year all your men49 must appear before the Lord God,50
the God of Israel. 34:24 For I will drive out51 the nations before you, and
enlarge your borders; no man will covet52 your land when you go up53 to appear
before the Lord your God three times54 in the year. 

34:25 You must not offer the blood of my sacrifice with leaven; the sacrifice
from the feast of Passover must not remain until the following morning.55 

34:26 The first of the first fruits of your land you must bring to the house
of the Lord your God. 

34:27 And the Lord said to Moses, "Write56 these words, for in accordance with
these words I have made a covenant with you and with Israel." 34:28 So he was
there with the Lord forty days and forty nights;57 he did not eat bread, and
he did not drink water. And he wrote on the tablets the words of the covenant,
the ten words. 
 
http://www.bible.org/cgi-bin/netbible.cgi
 
See? THOSE are the Ten Commandments we should be posting all over the place,
not that silly stuff about adultery and perjury. ;}

response 45 of 46:

Oct 27 22:55 UTC 2000

"Byzantine Church" would be a fine way of denoting that a church
was a part of the Orthodox family, just as "Protestant Church"
places a church within another family of Christianity.