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Author Message
25 new of 404 responses total.
senna
response 236 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 4 13:54 UTC 1998

Now now, let's just let Kenton deconstruct himself here.  

brighn
response 237 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 4 23:12 UTC 1998

On evolution and sexuality:
There are two possible hypotheses. One is that biology strongly determines
sexuality. The other is that it doesn't. My discussion of evolution was meant
to illustrate the problem with the first hypothesis. Rane and the other person
support my view that the first hypothesis is flawed while causing me to infer
that they think I support it.

Rane was the one who said that sexuality was biologically determined, not me.

In re the question of why alpha maleness doesn't cause non-alpha-male traits
to evolve out, there's a simple answer:
Look at the Middle East. Look at Ireland. Look at Yugoslavia. Look at China.
Look at Australia. Look at Capitol Hill. 

Then tell me that aggression *isn't* selected. We are the most intelligent
species; it could be said that we are the most evolved. We are also, by far,
the most aggressive.
lumen
response 238 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 5 01:34 UTC 1998

re #237: as a species, aren't we one of the largest in number, if not the
largest?  I would suppose, therefore, that aggression is therefore selected
biologically to keep numbers down.

or maybe I'm not understanding this.
kenton
response 239 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 5 04:41 UTC 1998

Re #233 Katie, what I know about homosexuals is based on what I have read.
And I read a lot, about many things, and from a variety of sources.  The main
thing I don't like (associated with homosexuals) are the sex acts.  I
find the thoughts of them disgusting.  The idea of sucking a penis which has
just been removed from an anus, makes me want to vomit.  Yet some here, would
castigate me for my strong minded aversion to these practices.  I figure that
some of these practices are not conducive to good health. I am aware that not
all homosexuals get so extreme in their "loving".

I have asked some valid questions about what causes a person to have homosexual
tendencies.  Congratulations to those who are truly considering those
questions.  I would tend to be more understanding of homosexuality if I was
sure that it was not some perverted action.  In other words, if the aberrant
behavior was influenced by social setting or heredity was the cause.

I have found that  some of the people who claim to be the most open minded are
really just the opposite.  And I am curious about some of you.

In my line of work I meet about 2 to 3  people a week, with whom I manage to
establish a working relationship.  I have yet to meet an open and
practicing homosexual.  Perhaps there are more of them in Michigan.

Rane, If I want to know about women, I'll contact you the expert.  Don't worry
about overloading my systems,  M. I. will reconstruct me.
brighn
response 240 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 5 05:37 UTC 1998

Not all homosexuals suck penises immediately after they're removed from an
naus. Few, I imagine, do.
You may wish to sit down for the next revelation, Kenton:
Some heterosexual women suck penises after they've been removed from an anus.
Few, I imagine, do.

This revelation will, quite possibly, hit you even harder, so try to take it
slowly:
There is *nothing* that a homosexual man does in homosexual sex that at lest
some heterosexual women don't do. Anal, fellatio, rimming, fisting, you name
itt, and some women will do it... some will even enjoy it.

In fact, short of mutual acts (such as fellating while being fellated), there
is nothing that homosexual men do that heterosexual couples don't do.

Oho! But gays do them *more*, and are more *extreme* and more *blatant*...

Pishposh, you're being naive. I could direct you to some very extreme
depictions on the web involving heterosexual acts. For the sake of our beloved
audience, I won't get graphic with the details. Suffice to say, homosexuals
hardly have the market cornered on unhealthy, unhygeinic sex (and nor are most
homosexuals unhealthy or unhygeinic, at least when educated).
senna
response 241 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 5 08:27 UTC 1998

*What?!?*  I thought all heterosexuals did missionary 100% of the time!  This
is disgusting pornography!

Note the sarcasm dripping all over that statement.
scott
response 242 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 5 11:56 UTC 1998

(Brighn just said what I was going to say, only much better)
i
response 243 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 5 13:58 UTC 1998

If finding another person's private actions disgusting is a reasonable 
criteria for declaring anything illegal, immoral, etc. (vs. not-to-be-
done-in-public), then how many new laws do we need against how many things
that someone, somewhere might do?  And if you black-list groups based on
what a few members might do, you've pretty much outlawed human life. 
johnnie
response 244 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 5 14:53 UTC 1998

Kenton sez: "In my line of work I meet about 2 to 3  people a week, with 
whom I manage to establish a working relationship.  I have yet to meet 
an open and practicing homosexual."  

I'm wondering what kenton is expecting.  That instead of shaking his 
hand they're gonna grab his ass?  That they'll be dressed in pink suits 
and carry a purse instead of a briefcase?  

Lord knows I rarely introduce myself by saying, "Hi, my name is 
John--and I'm heterosexual."  And the subject rarely comes up during 
subsequent business conversations, especially if I realize or suspect 
that the person with whom I'm conducting business has deep disgust for 
my desires for and relationships with the opposite sex.

rcurl
response 245 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 5 15:56 UTC 1998

I think that kenton's remark that he has "yet to meet an open and
practicing homosexual" says it all. He has met dozens I bet, but there is no
way to tell, besides the fact that it is none of his business. 
cyklone
response 246 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 5 21:12 UTC 1998

Not having met Kenton in person, I cannot say this for certain, but he may
also project an attitude that causes normally "open" gays to become
somewhat less so. I suspect that gays, much like other minorities, develop
a pretty good second sense of who is "cool" and who isn't . . . . 

brighn
response 247 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 5 22:29 UTC 1998

I know, as a bisexual Pagan polyamorous Dom, having a sense of who can and
will try to use my alternative lifestyles against me is a simple matter of
survival. The wrong word to the wrong person, and I could wind up ostracized,
harassed, or worse.

So yes, I'd say so, Cyklone.
lumen
response 248 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 6 00:59 UTC 1998

I imagine that Kenton is still holding fast to a preconceived notion of how
homosexuals act, dress, have sex, etc., etc.  The misconception must be so
strong that maybe he has indeed witnessed some exceptions, but may have turned
a blind eye to it.

If Paul doesn't mind, I think bisexuals can be included in this case as far
as man-to-man sex is concerned.  For the sake of reason, there are some things
that people won't do.

Not all homosexuals have anal intercourse, or at least from articles I've
read.  Bisexuals can be choosy, too.  One of my friends told me man-to-man
anal sex and kissing didn't interest him, but fellatio and cuddling did.
Of course, I'm sure *all* men and women insist on having a penis washed before
it is stuck anywhere else-- well, most of them.  Some aren't so clean.  Some
only have anal intercourse in certain situations.  Some men like women to
penetrate them anally with a strap-on (forgive me if I offend some readers,)
and I don't think they are necessarily bisexual.

I've heard it explained that many hets are uncomfortable with the idea of
homosexual sex because they have to imagine themselves doing it to a degree,
consciously or unconsciously, and that is definitely uncomfortable to them.
But many of them forget that bis and homosexuals do many of the same things
heterosexual couples do-- cuddle, kiss, say kind and loving words, caress,
fondle, hug, massage, smile, laugh, cry, moan (when making love), argue,
delegate, share, help, desire children, etc., etc.

This brings me back to my point that not all homosexuals and bis fit the
stereotypes.  There are exceptions to the broad generalizations, although
there are often still factors that make so-called gaydar and bidar work-- yes,
I do believe that there are some observable differences between hets, bis and
gays, even when they're not having sex (although I think bis can be tricky).
But that doesn't necessarily describe it all-- all it means is that our
society still espouses the concept of gender-- that social roles must be
assigned according to sex.  Bis and homosexuals cross the barriers of those
roles, be they in a very few or many ways.

But part of that is for identification purposes.  We may dress, act, talk,
walk in various and intricate ways, but that is so we can recognize each
other.  I'm sure that the complexity grew out of some security from those who
would harm us-- things were coded to avoid scrutiny-- but some don't make an
effort to especially express themselves.  You wouldn't really guess they were
bi or gay unless you really got to know them, or if they told you.

Myself-- I'm sure I look fairly straight.  My clothes don't say much, although
if you really knew me, you might notice I'm happy when I'm fairly well-dressed
and color-coordinated.  I'm extremely artistic, but so are some very straight
people.

I don't follow any particular trends in anything, so it's hard to be pegged
with a certain sexuality.  Sure, I like listening to British New Romantic
bands, and I have the long bangs some of the old school cake boys used to
sport, but I'll bet some straights followed some of those trends, too. 
Yeah, I like to street/disco/club dance, and I'm a maniac on the floor,
but..so..?  Sometimes I have a beard, and sometimes I don't-- and the beard
has been full, a goatee, a Don Juan, George Michael-style-- and I'll bet that
throws a lot of people.  Some of the music I listen to is not just by gay
artists-- some are bi-- but does that necessarily say anything?

Hey, I used to be uncomfortable around the g/l/b community.  The gays were
sometimes flighty, the lesbians all seemed very leery of me, and I had no idea
who the bisexuals were.  But I still managed to make a few friends-- and boy,
was I surprised when I found out their sexuality as well as mine!  I used to
think that gays were either femmy or macho in a funky sort of way, that
lesbians were men-haters, and bisexuals were folks I hadn't figured out yet.
(Well gee, that's funny-- I am bisexual.)  My preconceived ideas started
crumbling when I met some warm, caring folks in the community who seemed
rather comfy with themselves, even when I met other g/l/b's who were obviously
a little neurotic.

The first woman to wipe away my tears was a lesbian.  Not even my mother had
done that for me until much later, I think.  Alder tried to act tough, but
she just melted when she saw me crying huddled up in a dark room.  After that,
she always checked up on me to make sure I was ok.  I appreciated that,
because I am manic-depressive and my mood swings hadn't been stabilized yet.

My sister has had a lot of ups and downs-- probably a 5 on a six-point Kinsey
scale who called herself lesbian for a while.  We used to fight a lot, but
she still trusted me enough to share some of her problems-- including the day
she met a man she could not only stand, but liked.

Strangely enough, most of the folks I came out to were in a similar
situation-- even if a few didn't admit it at the time.  The more people I met,
the more I realized the g/l/b community was just like the population at
large-- but the orientations of attraction were different.

I'm not really practicing, although I've had a few experiences.  Julie and
I joke about 'window shopping,' and we still make comments on sexy bodies or
either sex-- which gives others in same-sex relations pause sometimes. 
Really, it's kind of weird-- some folks think that because we're Mormon and
getting married, we're kinda supposed to disappear, or at least put on
blinders and then attach them to each other.  We were watching 'Celluloid in
the Closet' with our G.A.L.A. group, and the video showed a number of clips
of homosexuals in the movies.  One had a scene of a man taking his shirt off,
and I said, "Check out that six-pack!" to which Julie and I then chorused a
lustful "Ummm-hmmm."  Immediately, one of the girls said, "Hey-- you guys are
supposed to be getting married!"  Hmmm.  Well, we won't think sexual
thoughts-- we're pretty religious-- but it doesn't stop us from noticing. 
Julie tells folks, "You can look, but don't touch the goods."

So do I fit Kenton's notions or no?
md
response 249 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 6 03:08 UTC 1998

Well, they *do* all like Judy Garland.  You can't deny that.
senna
response 250 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 6 05:42 UTC 1998

There are wavelengths to all personal associations, and I'd imagine (having
no factual basis for this) that a homosexual person would act differently
around people they felt weren't as accepting.  It's just how things work. 
Some people that I know tend to be a bit raunchier, and I'm cool with that.
Some are fairly uptight, and I adapt.  Granted, with me my standard reaction
to all social situations is to shut up and sit in the corner, but there are
variations of that I use :)
anderyn
response 251 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 7 01:20 UTC 1998

I was very disappointed this week because some one I respect decided to
break off our friendship because (we're in the same writing group) I had
decided that my bi polyamourous character would not commit to one person,
but would like to have at least two partners. (Which -- as I kept saying
-- was for cuddling and the like, rather than for sex, per se.) Apparently,
even in fiction, and fiction with a decidedly fantastic flavour, this
person can't deal with that particular worldview. She said it wasn't logical
for a bi person to want one person of each gender in a poly relationship,
and that I was weird for even thinking about such things. (Since I happen
to be a straight het vanilla monogamous person, I find that a little 
strange...) And yet she writes a very het and macho character who, although
married and supposedly very much in love with the wife, still bonks 
anything in skirts. Including other married folks. Which is something
which I find immoral since I have always figured that onece you've made
a promise, then you have to keep it, and if you're married traditionally,
then you don't fool around. Sigh. I'm just really bummed about this,
since I had gotten really excited about exploring those areas with my
co-writers, and was looking forward in particular to writing that kind
of relationship in a positive light. 
e4808mc
response 252 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 7 01:42 UTC 1998

So why can't you still write about it? Did she force you out of the group?
kenton
response 253 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 7 02:15 UTC 1998

Re 240  Glad I was sitting down, wish the chair had been stronger.  When I
read your comments, it collapsed under me.:)
But I'll just add those heterosexuals to the list of perverts.  Even so, homo
sexuals have less options than do a heterosexual pair.  Therefore they must
improvise.  BTW, people who "sleep around" (regardless of sexual preference)
are by far worse than a pair of perverts who stick with each other.

Re 243  I challenge you to find anywhere that I said any sex act should be
outlawed. I do, however, feel that many if not all perverted acts are the
result of poor mental health.  Can I prove it?  Maybe.

Re 248  Your comments speak worlds to me.  And should to anyone else who
understands what they read.  Oh! Don't fool around with the depression, there
are plenty of good ways to deal with that problem.
anderyn
response 254 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 7 02:54 UTC 1998

re 252 -- yeah, I can and my other cowriter and I are planning it, but
it's just not the same when you had plans involving other characters and
now you have to come up with something totally different. It's scary.
rcurl
response 255 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 7 07:57 UTC 1998

kenton has a strange fascination with the words "pervert" and "perverted".
I presume they mean to him anything with which he does not agree, or like.
People that are so intolerant and quick to judge others seem to me to be
the real perverts - they have little or no experience themselves about
that which they propose to judge, but are yet willing to act as though
they know something upon which to base their judgements. 
cyklone
response 256 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 7 15:42 UTC 1998

I am anxious to read Kenton's discourse on the connection between
"perverted sex" and "poor mental health." But please, O Learned One, first
define "perverted" for us . . . .

rcurl
response 257 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 7 15:47 UTC 1998

"perverse" means "varying from the correct or normal". It then attains
negative connotations of "unreasonable", "refractory", "disposed to vex",.
etc, but solely because someone that varies from the normal is often subject
to criticism or prejudice. From most of the discussion here, since kenton
appears to be in the minority on the issue, he is the pervert. This, of
course, just shows the ridiculousness of trying to demeen others by calling
them perverts - its depends on who's on top (if you will excuse the metaphor).
cyklone
response 258 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 7 19:46 UTC 1998

BTW Rane, the phrase "O Learned One" did not, in this case, refer to you. But
I understand how you may have been confused ;)
void
response 259 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 8 01:49 UTC 1998

   wow.  there's a lot to respond to here, but since i've addressed my 
last few remarks to kenton, i'll continue in that vein.

   i've always been a lesbian.  growing up, i never encountered any 
couple in homosexual relationships...no, i take that back.  there was 
one couple, but since they were closeted everyone assumed that they were 
simply friends who lived together (for 48 years?).  however, because our 
society is so hetero-oriented, it took me a while to figure out that 
there really was a reason i was not terribly interested in boys.  it 
took a while longer for me to figure out that i really could come out of 
the closet, and found people who could accept me for who i am.  the fact 
remains that being a lesbian is not something i consciously chose, nor 
is it something i wish i could stop.  is my lesbianism the result of 
something in my environment?  perhaps, but if it is, there's nothing i 
can point to and say, "there! that's it!  that's what made me a 
lesbian!"

   if, by "perversion," kenton, you mean something other than 100% 
vanilla missionary-position heterosexual sex, then i guess i'm a pervert 
in your book.  however, i tend to think that things like rape and child 
sexual abuse fall under the heading of perversion, rather than 
consensual acts performed in private between consenting adults.

   kenton, you probably have met dozens of "open, practicing 
homosexuals" and you simply don't know it.  i rarely walk up to anyone 
i've never met, stick out my hand, and say, "hi, i'm dru, and i'm a 
lesbian."  (the exception to that is national coming out day, which i 
celebrate by coming out to a complete stranger.)  someone else brought 
this up, and it has made me curious: do you really think that you'd be 
able to tell who's gay and who isn't simply by looking at them?

   i have a few more questions for you, kenton: why are you so 
interested in the goings-on in bedrooms to which you have not been 
invited?  how do those goings-on directly harm you or your family or any 
aspect of your life?
kenton
response 260 of 404: Mark Unseen   Nov 9 04:03 UTC 1998

Websters- pervert--4.to debase--one practicing sexual perversion. 
Perversion-3. Any sexual act or practice considered  abnormal.

Sorry guys but there is more that be with me than be with thee.

At the University that my daughter attends there was  "a gay pride day" on
which students were to were blue jeans to show support for gays.  I was
informed by my daughter that even though a normal day was infested with blue
jean wearers, on that day there were few blue jeans seen on campus. Kids went
out of their way to show a lack of support for this day and this people. 

My son in law from Croatia said that the guy out West got what he deserved.
Further he said that any fags in Croatia got the hell beat out of them.  Such
practices were not permitted there by the average citizen.  <<y response was
that as long as no one was harmed, a person has the right to do what they
want.  <i don't agree with my son-in-law and <i don't agree with many of the
writers here.

The most harm done to any individual through homosexual practices is done to
those who practice these perverted actions.  Loss of pride in self and self
esteem probably lead the list.

At the present time, I am looking for a design draftsman, experienced in land
development.  If a homosexual man or woman met the qualifications, I wouldn't
care what they did on their own time as long as they didn't try to rub my nose
in it.
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