response 215 of 480:

Oct 31 10:49 UTC 2003

What is php?  The 'image' is a long string of numbers with php? in it.

I slept nearly 4 hours and am hungry but don't want to wake Jim who was up
late with the computer.  Got to take one pill before eating and then wait an
hour before eating with the last prednisone this cycle.  It was pointed out
to me that the extreme exhaustion following this is due to discontinuing the
prednisone.  It is probably only accidental that it coincides with the lack
of immunity.  I guess an inability to walk very far will keep me from going
too close to other people who might have the flu, which I am not supposed to
catch before January.

response 217 of 480:

Oct 31 16:30 UTC 2003

Black squirrels from Quebec were released (by accident?) near the north
edge of the MSU campus, near downtown East Lansing, I think in the 1950s. 
When I was growing up there, black squirrels dominated in the neighborhood
from Harrison Road to about Bailey Street, north of Michigan and Grand
River.  The surrounding neighborhoods had a mix of black and red
squirrels, and further away areas had nothing but red squirrels.  (Some
people have said they had seen halfbreed squirrels with both black and red
features.) 

The red squirrels are larger and more muscular, but supposedly not as
agile in climbing as the smaller black squirrels.

A somewhat similar story is told in the excellent book "Rats, Lice, and
History".  The black rat used to be the dominant rodent of every European
city.  At the time of the Black Death and other plagues in Europe, the
rats were black.  In the 1700s and 1800s, Europe was invaded by the brown
or so-called "Norway" rat, which came from Asia.  (Black and brown rats
can interbreed but choose not to.)  In city after city during the
centuries of transition, the brown rats took over and drove out the black
rats.  Today black rats have a few footholds in some urban waterfronts
where agile climbing is critical to survival, but brown rats dominate in
cities worldwide.

response 219 of 480:

Nov 1 02:14 UTC 2003

For the past couple of days the side effects have been building up again.

Sour taste is starting to come back.  No thrush yet but slightly numb tongue.
Throat feels a bit swollen today and the laryngitis has been slowly getting
worse for a couple of days.  Last time it was worst on day 7 (Sunday).

Muscle soreness in my legs for a couple of days but I can walk anyway.  A bit
of pain in my upper arms as in a previous cycle but only today.

Hands continue to get even number, with numbness now spreading to the second
joint and the middle part of the palm and a bit of write.  I think it got
slightly better near the end of the last cycle, with wrist numbness going
away.  Someone else said after 6 months the numbness was nearly gone but
sometimes it comes back.  It has been five years for her with no breast cancer
recurrence so she is happy anyway.  

Slight constipation (hard stools) all week from all the drugs. 
Gastrointestinal lining thinned according to the last CT scan.  

Ribs are hurting again for the past 2-3 days (pleurisy) - I wonder why?  Fluid
retention?  My weight has not gone up, in fact is a a little down again.  It
was 104 morning and 107 evening instead of 110.

Slight burning sensation in my throat and esophagus - don't know if due to
thinning lining or thrush or maybe both.  
No nausea or vomiting or any new symptoms.

Jim has determined that the model number of the modem that he wrote down (some
program must have determined it) is not the number on the actual card so he
fetched a few more drivers.  In the meantime the grexer who gave us all those
computers decided he did not want any of them fixed up for him, he wants a
Mac instead and a friend will sell him one that works and has a CD burner.

Win98 thinks the modem is a third model number.

response 221 of 480:

Nov 1 04:00 UTC 2003

(php is just used to generate web pages... so maybe they're using php to
generate a lynx-incompatible web page.

response 223 of 480:

Nov 1 10:35 UTC 2003

I just did some reading on chemotherapy and taste loss.  The chemotherapy
interferes with replication of sensory receptors (taste buds and smell
receptors) and may also be in the saliva (for a couple of days only).
Recovery is usually within a few weeks of ending therapy but can take longer.
Radiation damage can last up to a year.  The problem does not develop for the
first couple of weeks.  I notice it starting to get better near the end of
each treatment but it lasts longer each time.

The nurse kept saying people talked about metallic tasting foods but I have
not noticed this, only that things taste sort of sour.  Now I now why.  The
metallic or bitter taste is from meats, which I don't eat.  Various websites
suggested substituting chicken, fish, cheese or eggs.  I notice that eggs
taste normal but potatoes and fruits and vegetables taste sort of sour.
Tofu is also okay.  They suggest adding cheese or bacon to foods if they taste
less rather than odd, and that is important to do so if it will help you to
eat more and gain back weight.

Starting today I can put soysauce on foods, or pickled Indian limes, or feta
cheese (all with sodium).  Prednisone causes sodium retention and potassium
and calcium loss.

Prednisone is supposed to be adjusted to the lowest dose which has the desired
effect as it has lots of bad side effects.  

Muscle weakness, muscle loss and nitrogen loss, interference with carbohydrate
metabolism (I am supposed to gain muscle and weight).

Gastrointestinal symptoms.  Increased alkaline phosphatase levels.  

Impaired wound healing.  Convulsions, vertigo, headache, cataracts, glaucoma
(due to fluid retention which is not happening to me - I don't eat salt).
Urticaria and other allergies.

The desired effect:  reduces lymphocyte levels.  Also erythrocytes (red blood
cells) - not good.  But it raises neutrophil and monocyte levels (increases
that sort of immunity).  I will have to read more on immunity types.

Endocrine effects, menstrual disorders, need for more insulin.

Masks signs of infection and interferes with fighting infection.


I ought to eat some funny-tasting food now.  No wonder I am not gaining weight
as fast as I was the first cycle, even tho I have more energy to eat and an
appetite again.

response 225 of 480:

Nov 1 23:13 UTC 2003

This evening I took my first unassisted shower since about June.  It is much
quicker than a bath (which Jim had been filling and emptying for me) so I can
take them more often.  But it requires standing, keeping your balance
sometimes on one foot, and using more energy at once.  In July and August I
did not have enough body fat to take showers in my cold basement bathroom and
there was no way I was going to heat it when the upstairs was 80, so I did
washcloth washes at the kitchen sink.

Jim is making pizza. This cycle I may not get thrush.  My mouth is not even
sore, my gums feel pretty normal, no jaw pain.  Maybe the half dose of
vincristine is responsible.  Prednisone withdrawal has still not hit  - not
sleepy but also no longer jittery.  Amazing what the body can accustom itself
to eventually.  Maybe I will get used to potatoes tasting funny.

response 227 of 480:

Nov 2 17:55 UTC 2003

I was able to nap this afternoon, finally.  Today I had a couple of slight
foot and calf cramps.  Don't know if this is because I am now losing salt or
because I ate some cheese last night on Jim's pizza.

We got one pci winmodem to work.  Another wants a file not on any of the 3-5M
drivers we downloaded, so we download a 9Mb driver which everyone said
contains all the needed files and worked for them.  The contributor called
his HP Riptide Conexant Smart Technologies etc. modem/sound card a 'stupid
thing' twice and had obviously tried lots of other drivers as well.  How can
a modem/sound driver be 9Mb?????

The third winmodem (ISA) apparently had the right driver but Windows says it
cannot open the port.  It put the modem on Com3.  We deleted all other modem
definitions.  Rebooted a few times.  Is this a dead modem?  I would like to
resolve it one way or the other so we can move on to other things.

Jim wants to drag me out walking while it is not raining despite wobbly legs.
Last cycle this day I could not walk more than a few minutes and had to hold
on to Jim to get back here.  Got to go.

response 229 of 480:

Nov 3 00:13 UTC 2003

We stopped during our walk to talk to Jim's neighbor, who used to be out
nearly every day with a power mower but now is having a paid power mower
service.  He was slowly raking wet leaves.  He asked how I was feeling.  Jim
made him admit that he was no longer supposed to be doing anything strenuous.
Last fall the doctors gave him a year and a half to live after his first and
only heart attack.  He says he has to die sometime.  He is only 90.  He is
a lot stronger than I am at the moment.  They could not clean his blood
vessels out from whatever is clogging them due to his age, he said.  He is
still taking care of his wife because she has weak bones.  We never see her.

Maybe I should go to chair exercises.  I am supposed to be 55 first.  Problem
is I can't sit in the chair long enough.  

response 231 of 480:

Nov 3 23:45 UTC 2003

As I try to eat food that mostly tastes funny and will probably continue to
taste funny for 2-3 months, I can at least feel grateful that I no longer have
to deal with thrush, sore gums, mouth sores, sore jaws, sore throat, sneezing,
or runny nose at the same time.  Sometimes I forget to feel grateful.
Jim finished the soup for me.  I wonder if anyone has written about which
foods are likeliest to taste funny (other than meat).  Squash tastes fine.
Bread moderately so.  I think the cabbage family is a problem.

I have to be careful now not to bend my elbows or knees too far (it is easy
to do since there is not much flesh in the way) because they hurt.  This may
mean that the joint linings are not regrowing either.

The back of my left hand has now started to feel a bit numb.  I keep thinking
it is due to lost circulation, but it is probably the nerve damage.  And my
leg muscles also feel a bit numb.  I hope this does not keep spreading, but
I think the leg problem went away last time.

Jim is still stuck on modems.  We have an external one (on its third power
supply now) that will dial the ISP, go to one website, then hang up as soon
as you click on a link to another URL.  With WIn98/Opera, and also with a
floppy disk Linux and Links browser.  We tried two computers already and now
Jim wants to try a third, with Win95.  I think the modem went bad.  It dials
grex okay.  Why would it work with Kermit but not a PPP type dialer?

On today's walk we looked for signs that people had added onto their houses.
One duplex down the street (the only duplex on this street) has aluminum
sliding windows downstairs but newer windows upstairs that may be casement.
First time I ever heard of someone converting their house to a duplex.
Lots of houses around here have had house-sized additions added to the back.
Jim says that would be nice to do to his house.  I suggested owning fewer
modems instead so he would need less storage.

response 233 of 480:

Nov 4 15:28 UTC 2003

I do understand that and was trying to be funny, but thanks.  I am about 95%
thrilled to be so much better than before treatment.  I just realized that
I have not had to nap at all this cycle (except for the day when the
prednisone wore off) whereas the first cycle or two I kept suddenly falling
asleep for an hour up to three times a day.

Today my leg muscles feel less odd but I think the tops of my feet are
starting to get numb.  My wrists feel better.  My left hand is acting like
last cycle about this time - it has throbbing aches in it especially when I
move it or let my hand hang down.  Last time this went away after about a
week.  Hurts where one of the more painful IVs was two treatments ago.

Since Thursday bits of hair have been exiting at an increasing rate but I
expect to still have a fair amount of hair left in January, unlike the
leukemia and bone marrow patients who need weekly treatments for longer.  I
just realized that my hair is no longer than two months ago when Jim gave me
a quick and sloppy haircut (I could not stand for long) to make it easier to
wash and dry.  It is still sloppy and short.  The hairs must fall out whenver
they start to grow.  Only a fraction of hairs grow at any one time.  

My hands still shake but I can type okay.  Only very mild shaking.  The doctor
keeps asking if I have trouble with buttons.  I don't wear buttons, just knits
without them.  I had a bit of difficulty getting a floppy disk into the slot
on the first try.  I don't try to use a knife.  Less shaky now than before
I got some strength back - this is now only from slight temporary nerve
damage.

Apart from the numbness spreading, only symptom that is getting worse each
cycle is the odd taste.  We went to a little gathering at Clonlara school last
night about old phonographs (78, 90, and 138 - windup, played quite loudly
on wax cylinders and very thick black acetate disks) and all the refreshments
tasted rather odd.  The pumpkin bread tasted salty to me.  Jim said it tasted
salty to him too.  He finished my cookies but the fruit tea tasted okay.
I fetched a couch cushion to put on my chair.  I could sit upright with no
trouble for several hours.  I could not be heard very well.  The laryngitis
which started on day 10 of teh first cycle keeps getting worse from day 5 on
of subsequent cycles then better near the end.  I have stopped feeling so
silly when I try to talk to people but when they dont' understand Jim has to
interpret (especially older people with hearing aids).  

response 235 of 480:

Nov 5 20:02 UTC 2003

Those of us who know no Russian may be interested in how "Boris Gudenov"
*should* be pronounced.  (Initial syllables stressed is the only way I've ever
heard it, but my knowledge comes entirely from radio announcers, I think.)

response 237 of 480:

Nov 6 23:31 UTC 2003

Mid-treatment-cycle blood tests today went well.  Last time the phlebotomist
(lady who draws blood) wanted to know why I came in with a large brown dead
leaf stuck to my sweater.  I did not know either but promised her a leaf this
time.  She was not there but someone else will give her the red and yellow
sweetgum leaf.  Not much else is still colorful except katsura trees all over
downtown (dark red, yellow, and green on the same tree), English ivy (ditto)
and 100% golden yellow gingko trees, the most spectacular being in front of
the Union.  There is an area near Arborview where female gingkos were planted
as street trees.  THe nuts are edible (tho the fruits have the same active
ingredient as poison ivy), but the fruits are quite smelly so that female
trees are not normally planted.

Blood test results for the past two cycles:

                10/06   10/16   10/27   11/07
                #3      #3 mid  #4      #4 mid
White blood     6.1     3.8     6.3     3.7     Normal is 4-10, this is low
Neutrophils     4.2     2.7     3.9     2.6     Normal is 1.4-7.5
Platelets       428     261     351     264     Normal is 150-450
Hemoglobin      13.7    13.3    14.3    12.9    Normal is 12-16

You can see that things are halfway back to normal by the middle of
each cycle, and then they got knocked out again by the chemicals.

My hemoglobin started at 7.8 in the hospital (after transfusions!)
and went up and down a bit and probably reached its peak 10 days ago.
With luck it will stay high enough for the next two months.  10.6
is apparently acceptable.  Jim is going to feed me mashed vitamins
with iron.

Platelets hit a high of 721 Sept. 11 and are drifting downwards but
I seem to have a normally high count.  

The nurse said my counts are excellent, I am tolerating therapy well,
but expect my bone marrow to get more and more tired with lower counts
in the next two cycles.  I won't need more than two unless the masses
in the spleen are not gone (but maybe they are not masses just scar
tissue - there was something about it being okay if they stayed the
same size from now on).

My legs feel more tired than a couple of weeks ago, maybe because I
have not gained and have maybe lost a bit of weight.  I feel like I am trying
to carry 50 pounds more than my legs were designed to handle.  Can't run.
Still hard to get up from a crouch - I need to help with my arms.

The nurse never had anyone tell her about a sore hand, but I expect it has
something to do with my platelets being the lowest for a few days before each
time the hand started to hurt, and blood leaking from a vein and lack of
clotting until platelet count got back up yesterday to normal.  Last time the
count was slightly lower and my hand hurt for longer.

Today's walk was around the art museum and the hospital.  Getting colder out.

response 239 of 480:

Nov 7 19:17 UTC 2003

Yesterday when we picked up mail at my apartment there was another (3rd, 4th?)
bill from St. Joseph's for a pap smear that was supposed to have been done
at U of M.  I phoned and they wanted my insurance information, which I pointed
out would just waste more time.  Today I called the U of M pathology
department again and the very helpful person there who had offered to pay the
bill (the U of M probably sent my sample to St. Joe's trying to be helpful,
since the doctor had used the St. Joe's form instead of U of M form), said
that St. Joe's needed me to authorize him to receive a 'detailed statement'
of payment, which I am about to fax.  He thought it would have been a lot
cheaper for St. Joe's to simply write off the $38 instead of issuing bills
every month and talking to me and him every month and doing research into the
problem.
I was about to fax this information but when I picked up the phone to call
for the fax number someone was calling us about her problems with AOL.  For
some reason she prefers to keep paying $23/month for poor service.