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Grex > Cflirt > #24: The Politics Behind Oral Sex! | |
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| Author |
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| 25 new of 55 responses total. |
senna
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response 20 of 55:
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Mar 29 04:27 UTC 2002 |
I suspect, although I don't know, that people may be reading Julie a bit
harsher than she intended to be read.
Heck, there's even an argument that she was just being
tongue-on-dick-in-cheek.
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michaela
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response 21 of 55:
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Mar 29 10:05 UTC 2002 |
Senna!!! :)
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jazz
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response 22 of 55:
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Mar 29 13:33 UTC 2002 |
That's true, I suppose, Steve, but it wouldn't be the first time that
someone was speaking sarcastically and got taken seriously for lack of a ";)"
somewhere in the message.
On #19, I've never been with anyone who didn't enjoy cunninlingus.
Many women aren't comfortable enough with it to bring themselves to orgasm;
that's not uncommon at all and usually goes away with a little encouragement
and practice. But I've never been with anyone it did *nothing* for; it begs
the question if it's not the act, but the people who've gone down on you that
did nothing for you.
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void
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response 23 of 55:
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Mar 29 20:05 UTC 2002 |
I'm inclined to agree with jazz, eeyore. It sounds like you've had some
rotten luck and met some real cunnilingual morons.
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oval
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response 24 of 55:
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Mar 29 21:04 UTC 2002 |
i'll agree also. and i just can't stand that word - cunnilingus -
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jazz
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response 25 of 55:
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Mar 29 23:14 UTC 2002 |
It doesn't roll off the tongue well, does it? That's inappropriate.
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phenix
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response 26 of 55:
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Mar 29 23:20 UTC 2002 |
how about going down?
that term sit wit you better?
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oval
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response 27 of 55:
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Mar 29 23:21 UTC 2002 |
i like head.
:D
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oval
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response 28 of 55:
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Mar 29 23:22 UTC 2002 |
lol!@ #25 btw
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phenix
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response 29 of 55:
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Mar 29 23:40 UTC 2002 |
head eh? that work
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jazz
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response 30 of 55:
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Mar 30 17:23 UTC 2002 |
On the subject of #27 - who, outside of eeyore, DOESN'T like head?
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jaklumen
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response 31 of 55:
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Mar 31 05:15 UTC 2002 |
resp:18 Well, yes. The key is you said *smart*.
resp:20 I think Julie meant that you get a lot of favorable
response. Hey, this guy will beg and grovel as far as that's
concerned.
resp:23 resp:22 resp:19 I also agree with jazz and void. Those few
guys may have tried hard, but maybe they still didn't know what they were
doing. Both the woman and the man need to be educated as far as oral
stimulation of the female genitals is concerned. First of all.. it has to do
with the clitoris, and not the vagina (assuming that's it.) Then there's
experimentation, finding out what works.. what amount of stimulation and
pressure is right, etc.
In our last sex cf, I seem to remember that much of the consensus was
that semen is an acquired taste, so to speak. I don't know if putting
food on top helps any, such as body butter, chocolate, honey.. Can't
remember the old item, but perhaps looking back is worth it.
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jazz
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response 32 of 55:
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Mar 31 08:21 UTC 2002 |
Well, yes, and no. I've been told that some guys are blissfully
unaware of the existence of the clitoris, but it really doesn't seem like
that closely guarded of a secret to me. I mean, it's right there. Unless
you're not paying any attention whatsoever, you'd at least wonder what the
little nub is for, and might chance to brush up against it in the process of
fingering. So I don't buy the argument that bad head is the result of men
who don't know what a clitoris is.
Now, men who don't know what to do with it (or, I understand from a
friend, women) are a different story. Different people need different
degrees of stimulation. Some women are capable of having the normally
covered portion of the clitoris stimulated immediately, and some can't handle
anything except for indirect stimulation at all. I can completely buy
someone not doing THAT right, or learning one particular way and continuing
to use it with people it doesn't apply with.
The REAL key with head, though, is enjoying it. And letting your
partner know you enjoy it. It's a complete turn-on to have a partner who
really enjoys giving you pleasure and would prefer at times that you simply
enjoy yourself while they give it to you. If someone has issues with their
body, I can see accepting even the most direct partner being difficult.
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eeyore
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response 33 of 55:
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Mar 31 16:17 UTC 2002 |
Actually, I'm pretty sure that it's me and not the guys, and deffinately
know that one of the guys is thought of highly in that area.
You guys do realise that this doesn't bug me at all, right? :)
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phenix
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response 34 of 55:
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Mar 31 16:58 UTC 2002 |
sure. you're just a mystery:)
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oval
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response 35 of 55:
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Mar 31 23:38 UTC 2002 |
#32 is right on. and the key really is enjoying doing it. that eventually make
taste etc a non-issue. i couldnt enjoy receiving head if i knew the other
person had to apply something in order to be able to do it. [not that thats
out of the question - just the motive behind it] it would make me feel like
i'm gross or something..
but it think it is also easier to master the task on a man than on a woman.
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i
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response 36 of 55:
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Apr 1 01:24 UTC 2002 |
Re: #33
Ack! Just as the guys are safely talking themselves into believing that
that they've correctly diagnosed and solved the problem, just like the
hosts on Car Talk did with that clutch cable that kept breaking on the
highway, and that the problem is no threat to the competence or honor of
Real Guydom, and now you go and say something like that!
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morwen
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response 37 of 55:
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Apr 1 02:04 UTC 2002 |
resp:20 I never meant that I thought it was an exercise in power.
I've been led to believe that girls don't like to give head for a
variety of reasons.
Here are a couple I have heard.
1) they think it's dirty
2) they think that the man is becoming dominant over them (feminist
response)
3) they don't like the taste of the penis/ejaculate
I was responding in part to response #2
Any other reasons why some ladies don't like to give head?
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oval
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response 38 of 55:
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Apr 1 03:04 UTC 2002 |
the more pig-like man could then consider that woman as slutty.
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jazz
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response 39 of 55:
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Apr 1 03:26 UTC 2002 |
I don't think it's an easier task to master with a man than a woman,
though perhaps there's a Kinsey three or two in the confrence who could
comment from experience rather than speculation. I'd speculate that for
competence, you'd need more of a psychological angle with women than men, but
that for truly outstanding sex you'd need a lot more than just physical skill
with either gender.
Women don't like giving head to men? I must've been lucky as hell,
then. I've noticed in my admittedly skewed sample that some women have had
issues with giving head to orgasm, and that wasn't generally a problem, but
it seemed more that they considered it less intimate, and therefore only
foreplay, than anything else. I've also noticed, in a few rarer cases,
people who've had issues due to past relationships or inexperience who are
very awkward about head, but did initiate it (as a side comment, I really
have to say not a one of them was bad; perhaps lacking in skill, but making
up for it in honesty and connection).
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jazz
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response 40 of 55:
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Apr 1 03:27 UTC 2002 |
Oh, and Meg, please don't take my suggestion-offering as an indication
that I think that all of this bothers you; it's just that you're missing out
on one of the more fun things in life, IMHO, and people're bound to offer
suggestions.
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michaela
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response 41 of 55:
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Apr 1 03:40 UTC 2002 |
I don't think one is more difficult than the other, physically speaking. Some
of the "issues" in women is that they think they taste bad or smell bad, so
it's hard to relax enough to have an orgasm. As for technique, it's not that
hard if your partner communicates, but it can be damn difficult to know how
you're doing if they're silent or won't give little directions for pressure,
speed, etc.
As for the taste of male ejaculate, just swallow quickly and keep a drink near
the bed. :) It's not THAT horrible, but the tang/salty quality is a bit out
of the ordinary. I just don't think about it since I enjoy pleasing my
partner. That outweighs the second or two of "what an odd taste..."
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jaklumen
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response 42 of 55:
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Apr 1 04:19 UTC 2002 |
resp:35 well yes, jazz managed to say it a lot better than I.. resp:32
was rather hastily written.
resp:39 okay, I'll bite, albeit reluctantly.
Speaking from the receiving end, hmmm.. well, yes, it does take
practice. The term 'mastering' was used, so I don't think you can
just suck away and be good. Also, I have a hard time ejaculating from
being fellated, which I suppose is from too much masturbation.
Speaking from the giving end, well, I'm not sure. I suppose some guys
have practiced 'staying power' or ejaculation delaying techniques, so
some ejaculate fairly quickly, and some don't. It's easy sometimes to
be lazy.. I forget what the term is, but I think the slang is 'face-
fucking'.. and so sometimes the guy can just move it around as feels
best while the giver remains still.
To be sure, a guy's sensitive parts are right out there, and it's hard
to ignore them orally. For a woman, well, they are smaller. For me,
well, it did help to read up and watch up on cunnilingus (sorry,
easier to differentiate that way) and figure it out from there,
because I was rather bad the first time I did it.
But I'm sure it *will* vary from individual to individual.
As for women's 'bad smell'..
"If is smells like fish, eat all you wish
If it smells like cologne, leave it alone."
Ejaculates (former), good. Urine (latter), not tasty and so the
genitals probably could use a good swab with a warm washcloth.
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jaklumen
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response 43 of 55:
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Apr 1 04:22 UTC 2002 |
btw, there's also a taboo on smegma.
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morwen
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response 44 of 55:
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Apr 1 08:32 UTC 2002 |
What's the problem with smegma?
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