Grex Femme Conference Item 74

<remmers makes a note to wear a business suit to all future
 social and business occasions>

(think I'll skip the makeup though...)

I think your observation may be quite valid, actually.

aruba

response 149 of 200:

Jan 29 21:20 UTC 1998

Well, I can't say as I noticed at all what you were wearing, consciously
anyway.  I guess the way to test your hypothesis is to gather more data.

birdlady

response 150 of 200:

Jan 29 21:21 UTC 1998

I've noticed that too, Valerie.  I usually show up at staff meetings for the
magazine in jeans and a nice sweatshirt or sweater with minimal makeup.  Once,
however, I had to go somewhere nice afterwards, so I showed up in a flowing
skirt, silk poet's shirt, and nice makeup.  I could've been the head of the
meeting, given how they treated me.  It was definitely a sign that if you
*look* professional, you'll get treated as such.  Even if you *are* a
level-headed, professional person (which I know you are, Valerie), clothes
*do* reflect a lot.

I used to go into stores in two different outfits and get treated quite
differently each time.  If I wore my varsity jacket, jeans, and a t-shirt,
no one noticed me.  If I happened to be wearing a long skirt, boots, and my
black trenchcoat, I got stared at by security.  <shrug>

response 151 of 200:

Jan 30 00:18 UTC 1998

Re:  #147
<sigh>
<i would be much happier if the group demonstrating such reactions was,
say, the Interfaith Council for Bigotry in Ypsilanti>

clees

response 152 of 200:

Jan 30 14:52 UTC 1998

re#150:
haha, indeed.
Last week I had to make a speech because of my chairmanship at the worker's
board of our library (university libraries are huge, with lots of employees).
So I showed up in a three piece suit, For many of my colleagues it was the
first time they actually saw me in a jacket, let alone a suit!

Gel mousse it fixes my hair, and I sort feel naked without any any my hair.
I have been using it for more than fifteen years now  or so.
But the soap in your hair to make a nice mohawk has always been a little too
farfetched for me.
But now my hair is thinning it is hard to maintain the same haircut I have
had for such a large part of my life.
Last tinme I went to the hairdresser, she just cut it shortin some up to date
boyzone (or what these boy bands are called) manner.
Maybe you 'll be able to check me out at next Grexstock.
Still depends on my pebnpall, where she will rside by that time since she is
going to graduate from university some time this spring I reckon.
I certainly am planning of visiting her this year (after the costs and the
dust of my relocating processess have settled down a bit).

mta

response 153 of 200:

Feb 5 22:19 UTC 1998

resp:145

Actually, the only time I can skip a day washing my hair is when I've used
mousse on it.  I don't do that very often because I 'm afraid of the drying
effect, though.  (My hair is abundant, but very fine.  If I sleep on it, it
looks very oily by midway through the next day.  The mousse seems to lift my
hair away from my scalp or seal it against the excess oil or something.)

resp:147

I'm afraid that was my point exactly.  Whether it *should* be the case that
"the wrapper matters"  is a legitimate case for argument. (I don't think it
should) But the fact is, that even among people who say it doesn't or
shouldn't, it often makes a subtle unconscious difference.

Once you know that, I don't think it's selling out to make use of the knowledge
when it's important that you make the right impact.  Not to make use of the
knowledge is arguably selling yourself short.

What does that mean in real life?  Well, I guess it means:

   o when you really want that job, it's a good idea to dress with some      
   authority for the interview.  

   o when you really want to make a good impression (for instance in      
   representing GREX to ask for corporate donations <g>) it's a good       idea
   to dress in a way that sends the signal "mature and       responsible".  

   o when you're running out to the store for a loaf of bread and a quart      
   of milk, who care? 

   o  socially it's very much your own call.  Maybe if you think it ougtn't    
      matter, you should advertise that in your own dress to attract       
   people who agree with you.  ;)


(And to update the original topic of this discussion: I've just bought my first
size 18 dress in 20 years.  It was a shocker, but I'm getting used to the idea
of being smaller and am actually able not to care now.)

birdlady

response 154 of 200:

Feb 6 00:57 UTC 1998

<applause>  =)

valerie

response 155 of 200:

Feb 6 04:53 UTC 1998

This response has been erased.

aruba

response 156 of 200:

Feb 6 08:05 UTC 1998

Interesting - both Sarah and Valerie are congratulating Misti on losing weight
(I think, anyway), and I thought the whole premise of this item was that she
didn't like people assuming that was a good thing.  Did I miss something?

clees

response 157 of 200:

Feb 6 11:03 UTC 1998

As far as I can see, Aruba, you are not.
But, Misti, if the applause is meant to congratulate on accepting the fact
that you are losing weight, and thus becoming another person from the looks,
since 20 years.
That ordeal, and coming to peace with that, is certainly worth a huge hand.
Misti rules.

valerie

response 158 of 200:

Feb 6 20:30 UTC 1998

This response has been erased.

birdlady

response 159 of 200:

Feb 6 21:33 UTC 1998

Ditto...

orinoco

response 160 of 200:

Feb 7 04:53 UTC 1998

I hereby applaud Misti on everything and anything she would like applause on,
while simultaneously keeping my silence on everything else.

aruba

response 161 of 200:

Feb 7 07:33 UTC 1998

Re 158,159: Ah, OK.

response 162 of 200:

Feb 7 13:11 UTC 1998

"This statement is politically correct."

orinoco

response 163 of 200:

Feb 8 04:12 UTC 1998

I find #162 blatantly and maliciously offensive.

response 164 of 200:

Feb 8 20:03 UTC 1998

I fully support your individuality and diversity as represented in #163.

orinoco

response 165 of 200:

Feb 9 04:03 UTC 1998

Aw shucks.  Now I can't get righteously indignant.

garima

response 166 of 200:

Feb 9 04:33 UTC 1998

I disagree with every word that's in #162, but I will fight to the 
death for his right to say it.

birdlady

response 167 of 200:

Feb 9 23:05 UTC 1998

<lol>

mta

response 168 of 200:

Feb 15 22:04 UTC 1998

<chortle> This getting silly.

I took the appluase to be for my coming to terms with my problem.  Thanks
folks!

mta

response 169 of 200:

Apr 22 23:16 UTC 1998

Another update -- I just received as a gift a size 14/16 blouse.  It fits.
<shiver>  Well, it seems like an awfully *big* size 16.  I'd have guessed that
it was a 20 or a 22.

But I have entered the stage where this massive change begins to have real
compensation.  I can buy clothes from stores instead of catalogs now.  I like
that.  <grin>

keesan

response 170 of 200:

Apr 22 23:35 UTC 1998

I have seen size 'small's that looked like a 20 or 22, you can't judge
clothing by the label any more.  Are you a perfect size anything?  I can't
wear a woman's 16, the sleeves are 2 or 3 inches too short, and I weigh about
115.  Does anyone in grex actually fit standard sizes?  What sorts of
alterations do people make in their clothign to get it to fit?  Misti, when
you wore a 22 did you have to do alterations for length or anything?

mta

response 171 of 200:

Apr 23 15:35 UTC 1998

Well, I'm short (5'3") and built kinda funny, but I'm also cheap and I don't
sew, so I tend to have to try on a million pairs of trousers to get one that
fits.  Skirts I just wear very long.  It may make me look shorter (that's what
the fashions rags say) but it workd for me.  ;)

I was once a perfect size 26 -- everything I tried in that size fit OK.  It
might have been flattering or not, but it fit.

Now I seem to be three different sizes -- bust seems to be around 16-18, waist
22-24, and hips, 18-20.  *sigh*  But then again, I haven't tried on many
clothes just looked at the charts in my supersizers catalogs.

0-24

25-49

50-74

75-99

100-124

122-146

147-171

172-196

197-200

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