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Grex > Enigma > #379: Lynne's "I aint got no baby" Diary. | |
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slynne
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response 10 of 160:
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Oct 15 20:55 UTC 2003 |
My father's sister never liked regular Christmas trees and she never
liked fake ones either. So, one year, a branch fell from a tree in her
yard in the fall. She scooped it up, put in a christmas tree stand and
hung her christmas ornaments from it along with some lights and stuff.
It looked pretty cool. Maybe I should do that. I could put the 'tree'
up at Halloween and put halloween lights and ornaments on it and then,
I can leave the tree up through Christmas and just change the lights
and ornaments. I think I will move the branch that fell down into the
backyard today and then decide if I want to use it or not. I'll have to
buy a christmas tree stand but maybe I can get one at Value Village or
something.
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jaklumen
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response 11 of 160:
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Oct 16 06:35 UTC 2003 |
Or maybe at da swap meet.
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slynne
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response 12 of 160:
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Oct 16 14:12 UTC 2003 |
Ah. I am going to a baby shower this weekend for my friend Andrea. As
usual, I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I am a little
jealous. On the other hand, I am really happy that a woman (who I
happen to think is one of the most wonderful women in the world) is
going to bring a person into the world who will probably also end up
being just as wonderful as his/her mother.
I have always thought it was a shame that this friend of mine didnt
have kids because she is so awesome. I see all kinds of people who
abuse their children or neglect them or are creating neurotic blobs or
whatever and I often look around and see that a whole lot of people who
have thier shit together (so to speak) have chosen not to have kids and
I worry about the future.
Sometimes I wish things could just happen without a lot of complex
feelings. Oh well. I guess I can focus on how much I really hate the
concept of a baby shower. There is just something tacky to me about
having a party for the sole reason of getting gifts. Granted, I am not
too upset about this because I happen to *want* to give this person a
gift. Oh well, it is still a party and I have been in desperate need of
a good party.
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slynne
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response 13 of 160:
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Oct 19 13:55 UTC 2003 |
Baby Shower
Ok, I went to the baby shower. It luckily wasnt bad at all. Hardly a
typical one. Yay. Alright, getting there really sucked because it was
an hour and a half drive in rush hour traffic but my friend had a nice
glass of merlot waiting for me which calmed me down. There were the
usual women talking about being pregnant and giving birth but only
about 1/2 the women there had kids. I dont know why I had forgotten
about the whole lesbian thing. My friend is bisexual and used to be in
a long term relationship with another women so she has lots of friends
who are lesbians. Most of them dont have kids. So I wasnt the childless
outcast sitting in the corner. There was lots of interesting
conversation about non kid things. I ended up staying pretty late. I
needed the socializing too.
The gifts I brought were big hit too. I called up a friend who has
recently had her second kid and asked her what she would have wanted
(that she didnt know she would have wanted) before her first child was
born. She gave me lots of ideas for hippy natural baby products which
made shopping really easy for me. I was able to do most of my shopping
at the co-op that is just a couple of blocks from my house (and the
rest at a drug store). I bought her special laundry soap, diaper rash
cream, nipple cream, breast milk pads, dr bronner's baby soap, a
chocolate bar, advil, and a beeswax candle. I gave her some cash too.
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slynne
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response 14 of 160:
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Oct 20 20:22 UTC 2003 |
So, after my class today, I drove home for a sec to let the dogs
outside because it is a really nice day here. As I was driving, I saw
this guy waiting to cross the street. I thought to myself, "man, that
guy looks familiar." About two blocks later I totally did a slap head
on forehead. It was my DAD! I guess it is just weird to see someone who
is very familiar out of context. Oh well. I am not sure if I should
tell him this story or not?
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slynne
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response 15 of 160:
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Oct 21 18:34 UTC 2003 |
I have been really bad about cleaning my house for the past month or
so. Actually this really started in the summer. I used to NEVER let it
get dirty. I dont know what it is. Anyhow, the place is trashed right
now. There is dog fur everywhere...dirty dishes in the sink...clothes
all over my bedroom floor. I dont know what it is. Usually I actually
enjoy cleaning but lately I just cant seem to get motivated. I really
have to do it though because it is making me depressed. Catch 22 there.
The house being dirty makes me depressed and being depressed makes me
not want to clean.
I really started thinking about this because I have offered to throw a
party for some friends who are going to come to visit from Hawaii. I
just got an email from them letting me know what days they will be free
for the party (12/26 and 12/27) and my *first* gut reaction to their
email was "I hope I can get the house clean in time!" haha. Yeah, I
hope I can get the house clean within the next 2 months. Sheesh.
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slynne
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response 16 of 160:
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Oct 22 19:07 UTC 2003 |
Lynne's 15 minutes of cleaning theory: I have this theory that a person
always underestimates the amount of cleaning one can do in 15 minutes.
I used to be in the habit of spending 15 minutes every evening
cleaning. This is also useful when I let things go. So last night I did
1/2 hour but I think the rest of the week I will do 15 minutes to a 1/2
hour and then by friday the house will be at the stage where I wont be
embarrassed when the water heater people come. Then, if I can keep it
up, my house will be really clean a few days after that. I might hire a
friend who is a housewife and often needs extra cash to come and help
me do a serious deep cleaning. You know, wash the walls, windows, steam
clean the couches and such. I did so much cleaning in my 1/2 hour that
I am feeling a lot less overwhelmed by the task. Whew.
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cmcgee
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response 17 of 160:
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Oct 22 19:20 UTC 2003 |
I have a 5 minute chore theory that I apply. When I'm waiting for something
(phone call, microwave, etc) I do a five -minute chore. Amazes me how much
gets done that way.
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mary
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response 18 of 160:
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Oct 22 20:01 UTC 2003 |
I agree with the concept of doing more in little chunks.
I pretty much keep a to-do list going, of pending chores.
They can go from five minutes tasks to those taking an
afternoon. But having it on a list and getting to cross
it off somehow makes it easier.
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cmcgee
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response 19 of 160:
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Oct 22 21:59 UTC 2003 |
*laugh* do you ever do something, then write it on the list so you can cross
it off?
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mary
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response 20 of 160:
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Oct 22 23:01 UTC 2003 |
Never ever. It's a honor thing. Set the
goal *then* meet it. ;-)
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slynne
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response 21 of 160:
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Oct 23 02:12 UTC 2003 |
I could never have a list like that because looking at all the things I
havent done would just depress me ;)
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slynne
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response 22 of 160:
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Oct 23 02:15 UTC 2003 |
I have been reading a lot lately about this Terri Shiavo case in
Florida and it has gotten me thinking about stuff.
I dont think Ms Shiavo even has the cognitive ability of an infant.
Seriously. And if I were in a state like her, I have to say, I wouldnt
care one way or the other what would happen to me. I wouldnt even have
the cognitive ability to care. I am not married so my parents would
make choices about my care. I would want them to make whatever choice
worked best for *them* If I ever get married, I know that means that I
would be giving that power about medical decisions to my husband.
Again, I would want him to make whatever choice he felt was best.
starve me, dont starve me. It wouldnt even matter.
I have decided that I dont need an advance directive. I probably should
mention my feelings to my folks though. Just in case.
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mary
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response 23 of 160:
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Oct 23 12:46 UTC 2003 |
Maybe what would work better for you is a living will.
It would make it clear to what extent you want to be
left in a vegetative state. Then your parents won't
be put in such an agonizing position.
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slynne
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response 24 of 160:
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Oct 23 13:57 UTC 2003 |
That is the point. If I were left in a vegetative state, I wouldnt care
if I were left in that state or allowed to die. I have no preference.
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remmers
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response 25 of 160:
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Oct 23 17:12 UTC 2003 |
In the absence of a living will, I'm not sure that your caretakers
would be allowed the latter choice. This has expense implications
for the caretakers.
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slynne
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response 26 of 160:
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Oct 23 17:57 UTC 2003 |
I think they would be able to make the latter choice unless someone
else in the family wanted to fight them about it. Which I doubt would
happen. At least that is what the experts on the show on NPR were
saying. They said that for a lot of people, instead of leaving specific
instructions the best thing to do in a general sense is to appoint a
trusted someone to make the decision. So, I probably should find out
about *that* paperwork just in case someone like my sister who married
a republican wanted to fight my folks on whatever decision they
happened to make. haha. I dont really think she would ever do that
though. ;)
I dont know what expense implications this would have for my family. My
parents and siblings cant be forced to pay my medical bills. I assume
my health insurance would cover the costs for the most part anyway so
that isnt a worry for me. I dont have enough assets to be a major
consideration. And yes, I honestly wouldnt mind if my folks made a
decision that cost my insurance company tons of money if it made them
feel better emotionally. Most people feel the same as I do which is a
big flaw in our health system: the people who make the health care
decisions (patients and doctors) arent the same people who have to pay
the bill (insurance companies).
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mary
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response 27 of 160:
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Oct 23 20:15 UTC 2003 |
Michigan's response to the precident setting Nancy Cruzan case was
to offer it's citizens a free legal document that would give
individuals a way to control end of life medical care. If you want
to have someone else make those decisions should you be unable to
do so, then you need a living will designating a medical power of
attorney. If you want to be specific about what you want and don't
want, then you need a living will advance directive. Either will
do. Both are free, can be obtained and filed at your doctor's
office, clinic or hospital. They are simple to complete and you
don't need an attorney. Michigan did good here.
There are two compelling reasons to take the time to fill one out.
First off, if you're dying on a ventilator with flat brain waves,
your family isn't going to have much trouble at all convincing the
medical community that you should be allowed to die. But it gets a
little cloudy when you're breathing on your own, without oxygen,
and managing with a feeding tube, but your brain is in a vegetative
state. Either of those documents could allow food and water to be
withheld until you die. But without those documents, you could be
laying there, lights off, a very very long time, and there is
nothing your family could do about.
The second reason to plan ahead is the same reason some folks
arrange their funeral, having financial wills, etc., - to spare
their family from having to deal with it. Or not. Afterall, you
won't be around to see them struggle with the lingering issues.
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mary
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response 28 of 160:
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Oct 23 20:16 UTC 2003 |
s /precedent/precident
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slynne
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response 29 of 160:
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Oct 23 21:12 UTC 2003 |
Hmm. Well, it cant hurt to fill out the form. I will see if I can
download one. One thing I wouldnt want would be for some stranger to
force my body to stay alive if my family didnt want that. Thanks for
the comments.
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slynne
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response 30 of 160:
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Oct 23 21:24 UTC 2003 |
UofM has one:
http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/aha/umlegal04.htm
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mary
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response 31 of 160:
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Oct 23 22:50 UTC 2003 |
You are welcome.
I still need to fill one out too. Your
comments gave me a push to get it done.
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slynne
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response 32 of 160:
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Oct 24 13:53 UTC 2003 |
Some of my cousins were in town last night for a funeral of their aunt
(who I am not related to). Since they are all from out of town, they
stayed at my folks' house. So, I went up there and got to hang out with
the cousins. One cousin and his wife are from a suburb of Cincinnati
(Florence, KY). The other cousin is from Rochester, NY. Anyhow, it was
a nice dinner with nice wine and nice conversation. I now know the
history of the "Florence Yall" water tower ;) I know a bit about
playing tuba in a Rochester orchestra. BTW, that cousin says that even
though it would have been fun to dot the i, it wouldnt have ever been
worth going to OSU ;) It is kind of cool to have interesting relatives.
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slynne
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response 33 of 160:
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Oct 24 13:54 UTC 2003 |
I am really tired. I woke up at 5:30a because that is the time my cat
decided she wanted to wake up.
A few years ago, in my last apartment, my downstairs neighbor started a
fire in his kitchen. He came home from the bar drunk, started cooking
something and then went and passed out in his bed. My smoke detector
never went off. But *before* my apartment filled with smoke too badly,
the cat jumped onto my pillow and meowed and meowed until I woke up.
She may have saved my life. The apartment totally filled with smoke and
FAST. I mean I remember waking up and being able to just kind of smell
smoke and not see it. By the time I had my pants and shoes on, the
whole apartment was filled and I had to feel my way out. I was only
barely able to grab the bird cage and the cat and run outside. I puked
all over the place because of the smoke and I could barely breathe.
(Luckily, the dogs were at my parents house).
Ever since then, whenever the cat tries to wake me up, I JUMP out of
bed. She has figured this out and often wakes me up if something in her
world isnt quite right. You know how it is with cats. She will wake me
up if she doesnt have enough food in her dish or if she is bored or if
she wants to sleep in the dog bed and the dog isnt responding to her
demands or *whatever*.
I am happy that she saved my life and all but I also would like to
sleep through the night a little more often.
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slynne
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response 34 of 160:
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Oct 26 02:30 UTC 2003 |
These are the ways I have abused my cat today:
1) When she went outside this morning, it rained on her. In her mind, I
did this and she isnt happy that I made it rain on her.
2) I fed her dry food instead of the mushy food. I have cans of mushy
food and she knows it. I withhold them as a form of torture.
3) I wouldnt let her sleep on the computer keyboard even though, since
she is a cat, she was born with a right to sleep anyplace she wants
4) I spoke to her in baby talk which insults her dignity.
5) I showed her that picture of a cat with a lion cut and told her that
is what happens to cats who annoy me.
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