lumen
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glb humor
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May 28 04:47 UTC 1999 |
Hey, we need some great jokes in here! I know there's a ton of glb
jokes; I remember a guy I rode the bus with who had a long list of gay
ones.
Some of the jokes I'll give as examples contain epithets that might be
considered offensive, but I give a disclaimer that I do not intend to
offend anyone.
On your mark, get set-- go!
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lumen
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response 1 of 19:
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May 28 05:03 UTC 1999 |
Q: How was the Little Dutch Boy like the lesbian that decided to
fingerfuck her lover?
A: He put his finger in the dike too.
Q: How are a gay man and a lawnmower alike?
A: You can get things started if you give 'em a yank.
Q: What's the difference between a gay man and a microwave?
A: The microwave doesn't brown your meat when you pull it out.
Q: What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
A: The refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.
Q: Why can't they find more money for AIDS research?
A: They have a hard time getting the little mice to butt-fuck.
A bisexual cow was overheard saying, "I can't decide which side of the
fence is greener."
A girl wasn't sure about accepting an invitation to a party hosted by a
bisexual friend of hers who was a terrible flirt. She didn't know
whether he'd hit on her or on her boyfriend.
A group of gay men were hanging out at a bathhouse that had just been
fitted with a new spa tub. They were all sitting together in it,
lounging and relaxing when suddenly, a condom floated to the surface of
the water. "Okay," one of the men said. "Who farted?"
Q: What did the man say who picked up a drag queen at a club?
A: Fairy tales really do come true.
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lumen
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response 5 of 19:
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Jun 4 06:30 UTC 1999 |
resp:3 Now that one's good! You usually don't hear lesbian ones as
often.
Here's one a bi friend told me:
Two gay men were having sex when the phone rang. The first said to the
other, "I have to go answer the phone, okay? Don't cum without me."
The second promised that he wouldn't. After a little while, the first
man returned to find cum sprayed all over the wall.
"I thought I told you not to cum," he said.
"I didn't."
"Then why is there cum all over the wall?"
"Oh, sorry, I had to fart."
Ask a lesbian or bisexual woman what a roundhouse is. It's a visual
gag, so I wouldn't be able to give you the punchline, nor tell it as
well as she could.
Responses to "What kind of tool are you?" heard from the Tool Line, part
of a gay phone sex line I used to call over to back East (and responses
based on the idea).
A hammer-- I like to nail things.
A jackhammer-- I like to shake things up.
A vacuum-- well, you get the idea.
A screwdriver.
A ratchet-- because I like to get a firm grip on the nuts.
A windshield repair gun-- because I like to fill holes.
There was a deleted scene from the movie _Spartacus_ that had a lot of
wit. The scene was between the master and the "body servant" over which
they preferred-- snails, or oysters. The body servant preferred snails.
The master preferred both. It is a question of taste, as the master
said. Think about that one.
Keep going-- I know there's a million out there!
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