denise
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Review and Discussion of the book "Fat, Broke & Lonely No More!"
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Jul 21 21:32 UTC 2007 |
There's a book that just came out in May [2007] that I came across while
browsing at Nicola's earlier in the week; It's called "Fat, Broke &
Lonely No More! Your Personal Solution to Overeating, Overspending,
and Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places" by Victoria Moran. And
it looked pretty interesting. It seems to be a common enough theme for
many women [hence the item here in the women's conference], though
apparently its somewhat common for the guys as well.
From the inside cover: "Do you ever obsess about whether to order
dessert, buy those pricey sandals, or be totally honest on a third
date? If so, then you are already acquainted with the fear of being
fat, broke & lonely. If only we could eat less, get paid better, and
be more outgoing. Only its not that simple> Our endless quest to be
fit, flush, and partnered [no matter where we fall on the scale]
inevitabley makes us feel fat, broke & lonely. The symptoms are
anxiety, shame, and fear, and the diagnosis is feeling miserable about
ourselves. We have two choices: give up, convinced that this is just a
lifelong, losing battle, or go toe-to-toe with our negative self-image
and take back our lives. Real life anecdotes, practical strategies,
and a touch of sass make this revolutionary five-step plan a must-read.
First, Moran helps us discover the root of the symptoms. Then we learn
how to break up with fat, broke & lonely for good. And finally, we
learn how to hook up with the life of our dreams--and who doesn't want
that?"
I haven't gone into a whole lot of depth in this book [as yet] so I
don't know if/how idealistic/difficult/easy these ideas are that the
author speaks about. But I'm sure its something that can get me
thinking...
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denise
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response 1 of 44:
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Jul 21 21:38 UTC 2007 |
Later that evening [on the day I first came across this book], I did a
google search with Fat, Broke & Lonely as my search. Besides the
various places where you can order the actual book, I looked at a short
video someone made--they had taken to the streets [of Manhatten, IIRC,
and asked people if they had to choose fat, lonely or broke, which
would they choose. The responses were interesting and varied; some of
them went into a bit of detail why they'd choose what they did. I also
looked through a discussion on this topic at iVillage [though the
comments tended to drift later on; imagine that! :-) ]
I know I often feel all 3 of these things! How about the rest of you,
how often, if at all, do you feel any of the above? And how do you go
about dealing with it, or are you unsure HOW to deal with them?
Comments, suggestions, discussion?
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slynne
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response 4 of 44:
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Jul 22 09:56 UTC 2007 |
Re: Fat.
Well, since I *am* fat, I pretty much always feel fat. What I have
learned is that being fat is probably outside of my control. Or
rather, what it would take for me to be not fat is more than I can do
and still be sane and happy. I have also learned that doesnt mean that
I am a bad person. Being fat also doesnt mean that I necessarily have
to be terribly unhealthy. So I changed my goal away from losing weight
and have made new goals that are more attainable. e.g. walking several
times a week is a goal. Making sure I eat enough fruits and veggies is
a goal. Reducing my sugar intake is a goal. Those are all good things
but are not things that cause me to lose a significant amount of
weight.
I have put a lot of focus on not internalizing the messages our
culture has about fat, especially those messages that arent based in
fact. For instance, it isnt laziness on my part that keeps me fat. It
isnt a complete lack of willpower that keeps me fat. It is a constant
battle though because our culture tends to shame people for being fat.
A lot of people consider it a moral failing.
Basically my solution to feeling fat has been to change my outlook on
what fat means. It doesnt mean I am unhealthy although since it is a
risk factor for certain things, it does mean that I need to monitor my
health more closely than others might need to. It doesnt mean that I
am a bad person. It doesnt mean that I am ugly. It just means that I
have a body shape that is different than most people's.
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slynne
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response 5 of 44:
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Jul 22 10:03 UTC 2007 |
Re: Broke
I am often broke. Some of that is due to some bad financial management
on my part but ironicly some it that is due to good financial
management on my part, i.e. I feel broke when I dont have enough money
to buy things that I want but not buying them anyways on credit is
good financial management.
Lately though, since I am apparently in real danger of being fired
from my job, I have been under more financial stress than usual. If I
do get fired, I dont know what I'll do. Unemployment benefits would
not be enough for me to live on. I might need to sell my house in such
a situation if I couldnt find a job within a month or so. Almost all
of my savings are in my retirement account which I could access but
with penalties. I would hate to do that but if push came to shove, I
guess I would have to. For now, I am seriously searching for another
job and I just hope I can find one in time.
What this has taught me more than anything is that I *really* need to
work more on getting my financial house in order. I need to spend even
less than I am spending now. I might need to try to find a roommate or
something. I need to save more money so I can have that six months of
salary that everyone recommends saved up so that if I ever find myself
in a similar situation, I wont be quite as stressed out about it.
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