You are not logged in. Login Now
 0-24   25-37         
 
Author Message
tod
Cage Match: Who wins? Mark Unseen   Feb 14 18:32 UTC 2006

Bill Shatner
or
Chuck Norris
37 responses total.
jadecat
response 1 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 14 19:10 UTC 2006

It's gotta be Chuck, c'mon.
happyboy
response 2 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 14 19:14 UTC 2006

no way.

tod knows about the shatner wallet-toss-rollaway style.

the bearded chuck does not have that level of kunkfoo.

period.  don't be a fool.
tod
response 3 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 14 19:26 UTC 2006

Shatner would catch that roundhouse with both hands and grapple fest would
occur.
happyboy
response 4 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 14 19:37 UTC 2006

/cues star trek fight theme
tod
response 5 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 14 19:46 UTC 2006

<chimp summersault and landing>
edina
response 6 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 14 19:49 UTC 2006

I'd have to go with Norris.  He's kept in better shape.  Shatner is so Rick
Flair it scares me.
tod
response 7 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 14 20:03 UTC 2006

Two things in Chucks favor:
In 1997, Chuck achieved another milestone in his life by being the first man
ever in the Western Hemisphere to be awarded an 8th degree Black Belt Grand
Master recognition in the Tae Kwon Do system. This was a first in 4,500 years
of tradition. 
Chuck with his team and sponsor "Popeye Chicken" won the World Off Shore
Powerboat championships. 

Two things in Shatner's favor:
Shatner is of Ukrainian Jewish descent and Michael Myers wears a William
Shatner mask that is painted white.

Shatner wins, imo.
happyboy
response 8 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 14 20:17 UTC 2006

i wonder how much he paid for the belt?

4500 years of tradition?  i thought the system was
about 100 years old.
tod
response 9 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 14 20:24 UTC 2006

He looked good in the underwear commercial so they gave it to him
happyboy
response 10 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 14 20:28 UTC 2006

did he do an ad for his chain of dojos in his tighty whities?
tod
response 11 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 14 20:35 UTC 2006

TJ Hooker vs. Walker Texas Ranger
happyboy
response 12 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 14 20:55 UTC 2006

the winner fights lee majors.
tod
response 13 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 14 21:04 UTC 2006

Two things in Majors' favor:
Lee Majors was born in Wyandotte, Michigan.
Divorced Farrah Fawcett because he wanted his spouse to be home with him in
the evenings when she often needed to work on her show. The producers of her
show made some concessions - for example she was allowed to leave the set to
prepare dinner for Majors every evening.
<cues "Like a Rock" by Bob Seger>
mcnally
response 14 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 14 21:42 UTC 2006

 I doubt that Norris would be able to withstand even a single
 v-shaped double-karate-chop-to-the-neck attack from Shatner.
tod
response 15 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 14 22:04 UTC 2006

Norris would spar him close to a wall and then only fully realize the sheer
magnitude of a Shatner legpress into the tummy followed by a Master Juba AILES
DE PIGEON.  The Shatner AILES DE PIGEON is nowhere in the Tae Kwon Do manual
and there is no defense for it short of the very secretly known Changez de
coiffure parrying defensive block.
richard
response 16 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 14 22:34 UTC 2006

Well I like "Boston Legal" a lot better than I liked "Walker, Texas Ranger"

So I'll pick Shatner.  I like how they end every episode of Boston Legal with
Shatner and James Spader up on the rooftop terrace of their law firm drinkng
fine brandy and ruminating about life.  Sometimes they'll step out of
character, "hell of an episode we had this week wasn't it bill"  "I know I
was so good this week, wasn't I"  
happyboy
response 17 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 14 23:05 UTC 2006

www.shatnerology.com/


"Putting a Shatnerologist in a room full of ordinary people
 is like putting a velociraptor in a room full of weiner dogs."
richard
response 18 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 15 00:28 UTC 2006

Besides William Shatner sings!  Shatner did an album that has a cult 
following, "The Transformed Man", back in 1968.  Features Shatner 
singing "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"

Now, who cares how tough Chuck Norris is, has he ever had the balls to 
cover a Beatles song on an album?  :)
edina
response 19 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 15 00:38 UTC 2006

He released an album of spoken word stuff last year - I liked a few of the
tracks and wanted it until Dave said it was a dealbreaker in our relationship.
johnnie
response 20 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 15 14:40 UTC 2006

>Besides William Shatner sings!

Excellent point--if the Chuckster starts to get the upper hand, Billy
could start singing until Norris bleeds out his ears and cries like a
little girl.
jadecat
response 21 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 15 15:09 UTC 2006

But Chuck doesn't cry. Ever.
tod
response 22 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 15 17:50 UTC 2006

Chuck runs a bunch of Christian charities in Texas.  Doesn't that make you
want to send Shatner trundling up to his doorstep in full Admiral Kirk combat
mode to make him share his "faith based initiative" tax resources with the
Federation?
happyboy
response 23 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 15 17:50 UTC 2006

he does.  deep inside...at his lack of shatner acting chops
and shatner kunkfoo and shatner popsong sensibilities.
happyboy
response 24 of 37: Mark Unseen   Feb 15 17:50 UTC 2006

slippage dammit
 0-24   25-37         
Response Not Possible: You are Not Logged In
 

- Backtalk version 1.3.30 - Copyright 1996-2006, Jan Wolter and Steve Weiss