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| Author |
Message |
russ
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Summer's the time for laughs
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Jun 23 03:21 UTC 2003 |
Just heard a rib tickler? Share it here.
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| 93 responses total. |
naftee
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response 1 of 93:
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Jun 23 03:28 UTC 2003 |
Yeah, why'd you send me that tel?
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polytarp
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response 2 of 93:
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Jun 23 03:46 UTC 2003 |
Please share the tel with the rest of the crass.
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naftee
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response 3 of 93:
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Jun 23 03:48 UTC 2003 |
I lost it, but it was something about calling ts a liar and a theif
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polytarp
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response 4 of 93:
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Jun 23 03:57 UTC 2003 |
Oh. Yeah, Russ has a long standing Rage with poor TSTY.
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dcat
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response 5 of 93:
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Jun 23 16:07 UTC 2003 |
Q: What do you get if you cross an mouse with a elephant?
A: Mouse elephant sin theta.
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tod
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response 6 of 93:
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Jun 23 16:24 UTC 2003 |
This response has been erased.
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gregb
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response 7 of 93:
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Jun 23 16:28 UTC 2003 |
Whew! I thought I'd be the only one.
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aruba
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response 8 of 93:
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Jun 23 16:40 UTC 2003 |
Heh. I get it.
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jazz
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response 9 of 93:
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Jun 23 16:43 UTC 2003 |
Q: What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mountain
goat?
A: Nothing. You can't cross a "scaler" (scalar) with anything.
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eskarina
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response 10 of 93:
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Jun 23 16:45 UTC 2003 |
<chuckle>
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tod
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response 11 of 93:
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Jun 23 16:54 UTC 2003 |
This response has been erased.
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mynxcat
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response 12 of 93:
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Jun 23 17:06 UTC 2003 |
Something that's not a vector.
Very geeky joke. I feel my geek-meter go up, just because I understood
that one
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drew
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response 13 of 93:
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Jun 23 17:29 UTC 2003 |
Elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.
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naftee
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response 14 of 93:
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Jun 23 17:42 UTC 2003 |
drew; past of draw
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oval
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response 15 of 93:
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Jun 23 18:11 UTC 2003 |
>GLOBAL ECONOMICS DE-MYSTIFIED
>
>SOCIALISM:
>You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.
>
>COMMUNISM:
>You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and
>gives you some milk.
>
>FASCISM:
>You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and
>sells you some milk.
>
>NAZISM:
>You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and
>shoots you.
>
>BUREAUCRATISM:
>
>You have 2 cows; the Government takes both,
>shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away...
>
>TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
>You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
>Your herd multiplies,and the economy grows. You sell them and
>retire on the income.
>
>AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
>You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
>other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a
>consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
>
>A FRENCH CORPORATION:
>You have two cows. You go on strike because you
>want three cows.
>A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
>You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
>one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times
>the milk.
>You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and
>market them
>World-Wide.
>
>A GERMAN CORPORATION:
>You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100
>years,eat once a month, and milk themselves.
>
>A BRITISH CORPORATION:
>You have two cows. Both are mad.
>
>AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
>You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
>lunch.
>A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
>You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows.You
>count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
>You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting
>cows and
>open another bottle of vodka.
>
>A SWISS CORPORATION:
>You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others
>for storing them.
>
>A CHINESE CORPORATION:
>You have two cows. You have 300 people milking
>them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and
>arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
>
>AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION:
>You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...
>AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
>You have two cows. You worship them.
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dcat
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response 16 of 93:
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Jun 24 01:43 UTC 2003 |
resp:15 : I love :edit and emacs. . . .
Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your
thumbs. --Unknown
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them, they translate it
into their own language, and forthwith it means something entirely different.
-- Goethe
The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty
prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant
with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.
-- St. Augustine
A math professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
"Sex and drugs? They're nothing compared with a good proof!"
-- Unknown math student
Q: What is the world's longest song?
A: "Aleph-nought Bottles of Beer on the Wall."
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?
A: To get to the other ... er, um ...
Ok, I'll stop (for) now.
(The first is from [http://www.usrbingeek.com/]'s quote generator; the rest
are from [http://www.math.utah.edu/~cherk/mathjokes.html].)
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russ
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response 17 of 93:
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Jun 24 03:48 UTC 2003 |
And in the vein of the previous geek giggles:
Q: Why are the flights in and out of Warsaw always half-empty,
with only the seats on the left side of the aisle in use?
A: Because any system is unstable if it has Poles in the right half plane.
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rcurl
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response 18 of 93:
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Jun 24 06:57 UTC 2003 |
You can stabilize those Poles in the right-half plane with some positive
feedback.
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lynne
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response 19 of 93:
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Jun 24 15:52 UTC 2003 |
<I *think* the counting in octal joke is a paraphrase of a Tom Lehrer joke
from the song "New Math". But can't swear that that's the absolute original
source.>
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remmers
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response 20 of 93:
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Jun 24 17:53 UTC 2003 |
Did St. Augustine really say that?
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dcat
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response 21 of 93:
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Jun 24 19:14 UTC 2003 |
From Salman Rushdie, whose 56th birthday was last week:
"What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases
to exist."
"Rock and roll music - the music of freedom frightens people and
unleashes all manner of conservative defense mechanisms."
((resp:20 - I'll try to find another citation for the Augustine, and a
source, if I can.))
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aruba
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response 22 of 93:
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Jun 24 20:02 UTC 2003 |
One of my math professors in college had that quote from St. Augustine on
his office door.
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orinoco
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response 23 of 93:
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Jun 24 22:11 UTC 2003 |
Maybe St. Augustine was talking about numerologists? I could see thinking
they were in league with Satan.
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rcurl
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response 24 of 93:
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Jun 24 23:42 UTC 2003 |
Yes, what would Augustine have meant by "mathematician"? In that age I
would expect the meaning was "astrologer" or "horoscoper". The online OED
gives such usage.
Which raises the questions of what language did Augustine speak and what
is the proper translation of the word he used at the time? Some wag must
have translated it as mathematician.
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