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| Author |
Message |
kingjon
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That Special Someone
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Jan 15 01:35 UTC 2006 |
A long time ago (well before I was an active participant in these conferences,
in fact) there was an item about "that special someone" -- what would he or she
be like? Now, more than ten years later, I'd like some discussion on the same
topic. (If any of you remember what you said ten years or so ago -- the item's
in the Archive conference now -- you might want to comment on how your "ideal"
has changed.)
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| 104 responses total. |
klg
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response 1 of 104:
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Jan 15 02:45 UTC 2006 |
That was before Richard.
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naftee
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response 2 of 104:
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Jan 15 03:19 UTC 2006 |
before we had dick.
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slynne
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response 3 of 104:
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Jan 15 05:57 UTC 2006 |
Honestly, I have pretty much given up on the idea that I will meet
someone who has everything that I want and who also finds that I have
everything they want.
But if the *perfect* man were out there, he would have all of (but not
limited to) the following qualities:
1. He would LOVE to mow the lawn.
2. He would LOVE mopping the floor.
3. He would like to buy techie gadgets because I love such things but
never can bring myself to buy them for myself
4. He would be really clever and witty and would have me laughing a lot.
5. He would love dogs 6. He would be a feminist 7. His politics would
reflect a well reasoned point of view. 8. He would be kind 9. And
honest. 10. He would understand that I often need to be alone.
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twenex
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response 4 of 104:
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Jan 15 06:00 UTC 2006 |
I can imagine a man who fulfills all of 3,4,5,6(ish),7,8,9, and 10, but since
I don't believe there are any women who actually ENJOY (much less LOVE) 1 and
2, I doubt you'd get a man who'd LOVE doing 1 and 2, either. Of course, that
doesn't mean they wouldn't do it.
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tod
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response 5 of 104:
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Jan 15 06:03 UTC 2006 |
I pretty much fit all of the things in #3 except that last one. I need
companionship or else.
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nharmon
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response 6 of 104:
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Jan 15 14:19 UTC 2006 |
What would be an example of a male feminist?
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marcvh
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response 7 of 104:
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Jan 15 16:16 UTC 2006 |
A man who thinks that women are people deserving to be treated like
competent adults who can make their own choices without arbitrary gender
restrictions, I suppose. It's hard to say since "feminism" somehow
became a dirty word at some point.
I don't know that there are people who "enjoy" things like cleaning.
There are people who do it compulsively; maybe that amounts to the same
thing in practical terms. But I don't know that I would want a partner
who is addicted to tidying (or sex or any of the other things which,
despite being good, can become a problem if someone goes all OCD over
them.)
There are a lot of qualities that I think are important in a mate, but I
guess the key ones would be someone who is kind and interesting. I can
live with a messy house much more easily than a partner who is petty or
boring.
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kingjon
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response 8 of 104:
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Jan 15 18:29 UTC 2006 |
If that's "feminism," I can't see how any rational person isn't one -- but
"feminism" to me has the connotation of "believing that the old gender role is
inherently evil and no sane woman wants to fill it."
For me there are a couple of things that I would look for:
1) The intangible "spark" that makes me never want to forget her face. This is
a) in my experience more likely to to happen if she smiles, b) more often than
not something that only occurs if it occurs the first time I see her, and c)
something that happens in both people I'd want to become romantically involved
with and in people I'd want to become very good, close, intimate friends
without romance. (Some very good advice I got once -- our dorm held a series of
talks about "relationships" and I went to the one on male-female friendships --
said that every true friendship begins with a "falling-in-love" moment, and
that one should assume a relationship is only a friendship until the contrary
becomes blatantly obvious.)
2) The quality that I'd describe as "being the other half of my soul." I've met
several people that on occasion I can get into such joyful conversations with
(on the *wierdest* topics, too -- like "can God have the experience of eating a
strawberry for the first time?") where we seem to always know how a sentence
will finish as soon as it's begun; that's a part of this quality. Then there's
the part of it where anything she says seems to resonate with me. Again, I've
had flashes of this in the past, so I think I know what it feels like. The
third part of this is the "when she's cut, I bleed" and loneliness-when-apart
factor.
That's a beginning of what I hope to find.
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keesan
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response 9 of 104:
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Jan 15 20:16 UTC 2006 |
What would you do if the someone went on a trip without you for a month or
two, be lonely for a month?
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kingjon
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response 10 of 104:
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Jan 15 20:19 UTC 2006 |
If I were "romantically involved with" or married to her, probably not so much.
I mentioned it as an *early* symptom of the "disease."
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richard
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response 11 of 104:
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Jan 15 22:14 UTC 2006 |
klg said:
"That was before Richard."
no it wasn't actually, although I don't remember the item in
question.
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nharmon
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response 12 of 104:
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Jan 16 00:52 UTC 2006 |
Yeah, I don't think a majority of people have a problem with the
abstract idea of equality. However, in reality everyone disagrees with
the implementation. For example, would supporting affirmative action for
females be feminist, or anti-feminist?
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edina
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response 13 of 104:
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Jan 16 01:08 UTC 2006 |
Re 9 Yes, I'd be lonely and I'd miss Dave terribly. Having done the whole
long-distance thing, I know what it feels like.
That being said, if he had to go, I'd support it and find other ways to fill
my time.
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furs
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response 14 of 104:
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Jan 16 03:25 UTC 2006 |
slynne, except for 6 & 7, you should marry bignasty
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