jep's leave of absence, discussion and comment

Feb 10 20:09 UTC 2004

Given that he locked the item to prevent responses to it:

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Entered by John Ellis Perry Jr. (jep) on Tue Feb 10 14:48:56 2004:

It's time for me to take a leave from Grex for a while.  I've been 
participating only in coop for a few weeks now, and that only to pursue 
the policy initiatives which directly impacted me.  Those issues are 
settled now, thank goodness.

A few parting thoughts:

First of all: During the last few weeks, I have been subjected to a 
more concerted and abusive assault from Grexers than I have ever seen 
on either M-Net or Grex.  It reminds me of junior high school, more 
than anything else.  Or of the book, "Lord of the Flies".

I submit to everyone here that that kind of assault is not only 
unwarranted, even from the least responsible individuals, but 
intolerable to Grex itself.  I don't know what can be done about it, 
but not very many people are going to put up with being the target of 
something like that.  This is not an acceptable use of Grex.  It 
shouldn't ever be okay to have someone treated like that; not for any 
participant of Grex.  I hope it's not accepted in schools any more, for 
that matter.

Second: That juvenile abuse isn't why I am leaving Grex.  I am leaving 
over another incident, which I have discussed about as much as I want 
to.  I trusted Grex with a lot of highly personal information, and 
someone abused that trust to attack me, and now I won't be able to 
trust Grex much any more.  I am sorry it worked out that way.

Third: Grex is a wonderful system.  I hope the users here know what 
they've got, and are able to maintain it.  It's far beyond the 
founders, the staff, the Board, the fw's, the system itself... all of 
those are wonderful, but there's a lot more here than what they've 
provided.  Grex is a terrific community.  There are many thoughtful, 
intelligent and nice people here who really care about one another.  
That's what makes it such a great place.

Fourth: Thanks to all who helped me so much during my troubles and 
stress and despair of two years ago.  I appreciate it greatly.  It is 
the nature of a general "thank you" that those for whom it is most 
intended may not recognize themselves.  I hope that's not the case this 
time.

Fifth: I have made many mistakes during my time on Grex.  I apologize 
to everyone who was affected by any of those mistakes.  I have 
misunderstood comments, I have said unkind and thoughtless things, and 
I have from time to time been unfair.  I regret all of these mistakes, 
and hope they can be forgiven.  I have also hurt people -- even 
intentionally, I am sorry to say.  I won't ask forgiveness for doing 
that, but I have always regretted those occurrances, and tried to 
overcome my tendency to do that sort of thing.

I'm posting this in coop because that's where I'm active right now.  
Feel free to pass this on wherever you wish.

--
Responses:

#0 of 0, posted by Eric R Bassey (other)

Hmm.  Comparisons of the verbal abuse of a few misguided individuals to 
something on the scale of "Lord of the Flies" is hyperbole which does 
not serve you well, I'm afraid.  Especially since you're proclaiming 
your victimization to an audience which was present for the events at 
issue.

It is obvious from your own statements that you took advantage of an 
opportunity to accomplish something which, though with (arguably) the 
best of intentions, was done in a fashion not at all appropriate by the 
standards of this community.  This alone has earned you most of the 
animosity to which you've been subjected, and to suggest that you are 
blameless is disingenuous at best.

Further, given your stubborn *refusal* to understand the particular 
actions you so dramatically claim as a betrayal of trust, I can only 
hope that the lesson you take from it is to not be so public with 
thoughts and feelings best left to fora governed by formal rules of 
confidentiality.

Lastly, I hope that you have reached a point at which you can be 
comfortable with the choices you have made and the controversy they 
have helped engender, and I hope that when you are finished nursing 
your psyche you will return to the community as a welcome participant 
and contributor.