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| Author |
Message |
md
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Five tercets and a quatrain
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Jul 27 13:49 UTC 1994 |
Having forgotten where I parked my car
Only an hour ago, and lost my way,
I double back. It can't be very far.
I know that girl. I met her in a bar
Once, but I don't have time for her today,
Having forgotten where I parked my car.
Excuse me, sir, I don't know who you are,
And no, I don't have any spare change. May
I double back? It can't be very far.
Although I really love my new Jaguar,
I do so wish I owned that Chevrolet,
Having forgotten where I parked my car.
Some day I might attend a seminar
About which laws a man need not obey.
I double back. It can't be very far.
Of tedium this is the sixth instar,
The sixth and last ecdysis of dismay.
Having forgotten where I parked my car,
I double back. It can't be very far.
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| 62 responses total. |
remmers
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response 1 of 62:
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Jul 29 13:55 UTC 1994 |
This poem got me to re-live an all-too-familiar feeling. Very good.
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rcurl
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response 2 of 62:
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Jul 29 15:39 UTC 1994 |
My car is in my driveway. I just checked.
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keesan
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response 3 of 62:
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Jan 19 20:03 UTC 1998 |
Marvellous! What else have you published in grex?
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md
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response 4 of 62:
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Jan 19 22:23 UTC 1998 |
Thank you! There are a few items in this conference that I wrote.
Glad you enjoyed this one.
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md
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response 5 of 62:
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Jan 19 22:28 UTC 1998 |
(56, 58, 59 & 61, for example.)
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keesan
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response 6 of 62:
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Jan 20 04:05 UTC 1998 |
Can you state the rules for writing tercets and quatrains? And which one was
this? I ran across a copule of similar things in a poetry textbook once, one
recent, the other possibly 16 or 17th century. If someone were to supply two
lines (hopefully ending in words that were easy to rhime, such as 'I don't
like biking in the rain, My hands get cold, my glasses fog), could you
improvise a few stanzas? Is there a fixed number of stanzas?
Will go read your other contributions now.
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md
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response 7 of 62:
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Jan 20 11:51 UTC 1998 |
The poem in #0 is called a villanelle, which the Princeton
Encyclopedia of Poetry and Poetics describes as "a French
verse form, derived from an Italian folk song of the late
15th-early 17th centuries." The form is described as
follows: "usually 5 tercets rhyming aba, followed by a
quatrain rhyming abaa, with the first line of the initial
tercet serving as the last line of the second and fourth
tercets and the third line of the initial tercet serving
as the last line of the third and fifth tercets, these two
refrain-lines following each other to constitute the last
two lines of the closing quatrain." Easier just to read a
few and figure it out for yourself, which I suspect is how
most of us villanellists have done it over the centuries. ;-)
Well-known villanelles of the 20th century include E.A. Robinson's
"The House of the Hill," W.H. Auden's "Time will say nothing
but I told you so," and Dylan Thomas's "Do not go gentle into
that good night."
To me, writing (extremely) formal verse is like doing crossword
puzzles: relaxing, challenging and fun. I'm not even a little
concerned with "expressing myself," obviously.
"I don't like biking in the rain.
My hands get cold, my glasses fog."
Give me a day or two and I'll see what I can do. Thanks again
for your kind words.
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keesan
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response 8 of 62:
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Jan 20 17:59 UTC 1998 |
Thinking it over, my glasses do not actually fog, they streak. I recall
biking back from Ypsi late one night without glasses. Not too many words
rhyming with fog anyway (dog, log, bog, agog, hog?). How about instead: My
hands are cold, my saddle's wet (or reverse the two halves). (Webster
suggests sweat, yet, aigrette, beget, beset, coquette, curvet, duet, gazette,
rosette, minaret, parapet, rivulet, and regret, among others).
I am looking forward to reading a custom-composed villanelle. (sp?)
Can villanelles be translated between languages? Have you ever
attempted the task?
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rcurl
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response 9 of 62:
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Jan 20 18:54 UTC 1998 |
Do you rhyme dog with fog? So far, we4've only found one other that does -
davel.
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keesan
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response 10 of 62:
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Jan 20 18:58 UTC 1998 |
Trying to come up with something in pentameter:
'I don't like biking in the pouring (freezing?) rain,
My hands are numb, the saddle's soaking wet,
(can you find a third line, maybe ending in 'insane', sprain, abstain,
chilblain...)
I may ask people in Transportation for ideas on content.
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keesan
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response 11 of 62:
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Jan 20 19:03 UTC 1998 |
Hi Rane, or is it Rain? Doesn't everyone rhyme dog with fog? I asked my
Flint-born roommate, who also does. I am from Boston, where merry, marry and
mary are all pronounced differerently (with the sounds of men, man and mane),
and hot has the same vowel as dog or god. Webster's Collegiate Dictionary
rhymes dog and fog.
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keesan
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response 12 of 62:
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Jan 20 19:15 UTC 1998 |
Michael, in Transportation Item #102 I have asked for ideas on problems
encountered when biking in the rain. I anticipate that there will be
sufficient to fill at least five tercets and a quatrain.
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md
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response 13 of 62:
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Jan 21 01:02 UTC 1998 |
You're right, the two lines you gave didn't leave much room. The
rhymes on "fog" are particularly embarrassing. But here it is,
anyway, not so much "abandoned in despair" as gingerly dropped
somewhere where no one will see it. Did I mention, I charge $50/line?
I don't like biking in the rain.
My hands get cold, my glasses fog.
Why I do it I can't explain.
I think that I must be insane
To bike instead of walk or jog.
I don't like biking in the rain.
Brimming is every sewer drain;
Through lakes of boiling mud I slog.
Why I do it I can't explain.
All day I pedal and complain
Like some pajama'd taxi wog.
I don't like biking in the rain
And here's my turn, down Rustic Lane,
As sodden weeds my chain enclog.
Why I do it I can't explain.
And here's the house of Buxom Jane.
I rest my bike against a log.
I don't like biking in the rain.
Why I do it I can't explain.
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md
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response 14 of 62:
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Jan 21 01:11 UTC 1998 |
[Btw, Robinson's villanelle is called "The House on the Hill,"
not "The House of the Hill" as I said in an earlier response.
The interesting thing about Robinson's poem is that it uses
lines with only three stresses. A very terse, gaunt little poem.]
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rcurl
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response 15 of 62:
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Jan 21 07:28 UTC 1998 |
Almost everyone from around here, and most others I have asked, do not
rhyme dog with fog. We say "dawg", but "fahg". I have, however, found
both alternative prnounciations of dog in a dictionary.
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md
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response 16 of 62:
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Jan 21 11:40 UTC 1998 |
I say "dawg" and "fawg" but I'm not from around here. But my wife,
who *is* from around here, says "dawg" and "fawg," too. She says,
"I've heard 'fog' pronounced 'fahg' and I don't like it."
I grew up in western Massachusetts, where "merry," "marry," and
"Mary" are three different words, as they apparently are in the
eastern part of the state. I had elderly relatives who pronounced
"radio" and "radiator" with the first syllables rhyming with "bad."
So, I'm willing to believe that my pronunciation of "fog" is not
typical of S.E. Michigan. I think it's close enough for an
extempore effusion upon biking in the rain, however.
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keesan
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response 17 of 62:
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Jan 21 15:08 UTC 1998 |
Many thanks. Have you biked in the rain yourself? Regarding rhymes for fog,
have you looked yet at Cars Item 102? There is mention of frogs. Not to seem
ungrateful, but would you also care to try a version in iambic pentameter on
-rain and -wet? If you wait a few days, there may be more ideas in #102.
Would it help if I asked other bikers to submit their complaints in rhyme?
I was somehow expecting the last stanza to include a line ending in quatrain.
My Boston-bred father used to pronounce word pairs like tot/taught,
not/nought, with different length vowels: o and o:
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toking
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response 18 of 62:
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Jan 21 19:51 UTC 1998 |
this item has been linked to the poetry conference from
writing item #83
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esmerlda
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response 19 of 62:
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Jan 21 19:55 UTC 1998 |
neat.. :P
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arianna
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response 20 of 62:
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Jan 22 00:13 UTC 1998 |
(zowwie -- I was about to say, "Wow, look at how the rhymes brought lurkers
out of the woodwork." d= You guys are *SO* dated; look at that, a poem from
'94. d= d= d= )
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babozita
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response 21 of 62:
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Jan 22 00:15 UTC 1998 |
bog, dog, fog, agog, hog, jog, cog, log, eggnog, sog, tog, polliwog, clog,
flog, frog, slog...
*shrog*
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keesan
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response 22 of 62:
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Jan 22 00:48 UTC 1998 |
could it also be linked to Cars (just after Item #102, or is there some way
to combine two items into one that is linked?).
Would any of you poets venture to write a villanelle? How about something
on the subject of assembling a hammered-dulcimer kit, and we could link it
to the new do-it-yourself conference (for which I am supposed to be recruiting
new members). Kit is easy to rhyme (misfit, quit, sit, split...). So is tool
(fool, cool, spool...).
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babozita
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response 23 of 62:
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Jan 22 02:26 UTC 1998 |
A dulcimer issuch an easy kit
One that is made by such a fool
That is so very full of shit
*evil grin*
Real poets don't write commed pieces on how to make hammered dulcimers.
That's what John and Michael are here for. *wink*
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orinoco
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response 24 of 62:
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Jan 22 04:38 UTC 1998 |
I'm a dawg/fahg guy myself :)
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