Lost Love

Mar 27 04:56 UTC 1995

THE BIRD

The bird
caught
in the wild...
tamed by the one
who caught it...

the bird
released
to the wild...
forgot the one
who tamed it.

response 2 of 5:

Mar 27 05:11 UTC 1995

The creek babbling
through the forest
used to be
the only sound
to be heard
as I'd sit...
but now,
as my life
has been
shattered
by you
leaving,
for good
this time,
the creek,
the forest creatures,
the forest,
all share my pain...
the winds
whisper your name
through the trees,
among the branches,
between the leaves...
the creek flows
silently,
carrying away
my tears,
but splashing
my feelings,
gently,
back up onto me
on the bank...
the animals,
once filled with
chitter-chatter
of happiness,
of joy,
now silently 
scurry
from the darkness
spreading
across the sky
as the raindrops
fall
to cover
my tears...
the thunder
cries your name out
with a booming
loudness,
and the lightening
flashes your face,
your movements,
your contentment
equal to my pain;
flashes my
memories
of your
across the dark skies...

tell me what y'all think... i accept honest opinions only, no matter how
criticizing or not... thanx for reading my poetry and thanx for your honest
opinions.... 

response 4 of 5:

Mar 27 20:16 UTC 1995

gee, I'm usually so critical, and I can't find anything to mess with here.
I really like these two peoms. The first more so- it's shorter, and more
direct, so more effective.  But I like your images, your simple language,
and the basic point you make is wonderful (although for some folks the 
opposite is true; that they are more preoccupied when in pain and more 
aware, more engaged with nature when in love)