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waterrat
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Advice Wanted for Story
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Oct 27 03:53 UTC 1994 |
Advice Wanted for Story
I'm working on a story about a girl moving from New York City to a quiet
suburban town. She is in her teens, and the story is set in the mid
1970's. So #1. if anyone here was a teen during the seventies (since I
wasn't) I would appricate anything you could tell me about how it was
growing up during those years. #2. If anyone has any suggestions of what
I could add on to the little I have, I'd appreciate it. So far I've
written four scenes.
Scene #1: Girl moves into suburbs and meets next door neighbor, who takes
her for a tour of the little town (don't start singing beauty
and the beast now, it's not like that quiet village).
Scene #2: Girl and her new friends go horseback riding; girl doesn't know
how to ride; girl's horse breaks into a canter without warning
and she gets a scare but tries to hide it
Scene #3: Girl is having a hard time fitting in at school and with the
other people she meet, and tries to run away, but a friend
manages to stop her in time.
Scene #4: Girl realizes that even though she isn't very much like the kids
in her new neighborhood, they're nice enough to accept her the
way she is. She also has a best friend here.
Anyway, if anyone wants to give me suggestions of any kind (this is serious),
please do. I haven't much experience writing "novels", and would appreciate
any feedback I could get. Thanks guys!
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| 16 responses total. |
rcurl
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response 1 of 16:
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Oct 27 06:33 UTC 1994 |
Girl is welcomed into a circle of friends, but the time comes
that they begin to pressure her to do something she doesn't want
to do.
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brighn
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response 2 of 16:
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Oct 27 17:53 UTC 1994 |
Are these contiguous scenes? They seem a bit disjoint.
I turned 12 in 1980, so I guess I'm not close enough. :-)
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waterrat
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response 3 of 16:
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Oct 27 17:59 UTC 1994 |
These are scenes in chronologial order during the story, but they do not
happen one after another. The whole story takes place over the course
of four months. Basically, scene 1 is in July, 2 in August, 3 in September
and 4 in October of the same year. Anything else need to be cleared up,
feel free to ask. And all advice is welcomed (note this is advice, not
dictating). Even if you're not fitted into the time period, a.k.a. a
teenageer in the seventies, you can give me ideas for other scenes in the
plot. Thanks! :)
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jg
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response 4 of 16:
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Nov 20 20:18 UTC 1994 |
Have you hinted at any conflict yet? (i.e. Girl is not a follower, girl is
extremely intelligent and does not fit in....) Defining a character
sometimes brings out obvious flaws that suggest plot twists.
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waterrat
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response 5 of 16:
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Nov 21 05:08 UTC 1994 |
The conflict here is mostly an internal one, i.e. the girl has been hiding
her feelings inside all her life, and now she's tired of pretending to be
someone she is not. Yet, as a lot of teenagers, (heck I sure was at 14),
she is insecure, and this move isn't helping any. She does not feel like
she can fit in with this suburban kids, after spending her whole life in
New York City. She is not a follower, she is a leader, which is part of
the problem, since all her life, she has been the one everyone looked up
to, and although people come to her with their problems, she does not feel
like she can go to them with her problems. She is not extremely
intelligent, she is smart, but no more than anyone else. The conflict is
more because she has this "rough and tough" image of herself, and likes it
that way. She would rather people think she didn't have any problems, and
could always take care of herself. The plot does revolve her internal
struggle to overcome insecurity and realize people won't think any less of
her just because she's only human and far from perfect.
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jg
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response 6 of 16:
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Nov 22 04:14 UTC 1994 |
I moved quite a bit as a kid... even through the teen years.
IN addition, the moves were for the most part to drastically different
parts of the country... You hit the nail on the head when you said
insecurity, but it can also make a different impression on someone.
For instance, the girl may doraw strength from being on the outskirts
of the group. She may become an observer of sorts, a loner. That is until,
she finds something substantial in the people around her. I don't think
anyone is strong enough to avoid a deep sense of alienation when
they first move somewhere.
Sorry for rambling. I hope this helps. You have an interesting
start. One I can already identify with or I wouldn't be responding so much:)
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waterrat
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response 7 of 16:
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Nov 23 14:55 UTC 1994 |
Thanks for the info, jg. I haven't moved since I was six, and don't
remember much by now. I think I'm sorta doing that with my story, by
making her sorta stand out from the rest of the group. She just doesn't
quite fit in (kinda like Belle in the little town of the setting of
Beauty and the Beast).
New question: How do you switch point of views in your writing without
making it sound awkward? I'm writing this in third person limited
omniscent (I think that's how you spell it)
Feel free to keep responding to the old question!
Thanks!
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jg
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response 8 of 16:
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Dec 13 03:13 UTC 1994 |
I think you could jump from her point of view to a narrator's with the context
and the language. From "i" to "her"... that would work if you piece it
carefully.
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waterrat
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response 9 of 16:
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Dec 13 16:28 UTC 1994 |
No, actually I'm writing the whole story in thrid person omniscent and
was wondering how I could make the point of view shift back and forth
between the girl and the boy (her next door neighbor and friend). I
know that sometimes when you do it, it turns out awkward and was wondering
if anyone had suggestions for making it not as awkward. It's easy to do
if they are not in the same place, and you are looking at the situation
from alternating point of views, but when they are in the same place,
and are just at a pause in conversation, how do you make the transition
between her thoughts and his thoughts go smoothly and not confuse the
reader? Just a concern my prof. wanted me to be aware of.
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jg
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response 10 of 16:
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Dec 14 05:46 UTC 1994 |
iIf you have ever read any Stephen King he does it by changing chapters.
There is also an author, his name escapes me that is famous for string of
consciousness.
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waterrat
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response 11 of 16:
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Dec 14 18:38 UTC 1994 |
No, but the thing is I don't want to devote every other chapter to
retelling the scene in the other view. I'm talking like, how do you
smooth the transition between paragraphs, when one paragraph is another
person's point of view than the one before it, did that make sense?
I hope so. (Kim grins)
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kami
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response 12 of 16:
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Dec 17 03:23 UTC 1994 |
No, don't retell the scene chapter by chapter, but as the action progresses,
the person who is doing the most gets their viewpoint pesented, perhaps
switching at chapter breaks, perhaps whenever it just happens.
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remmers
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response 13 of 16:
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Dec 25 18:10 UTC 1994 |
For smoothness, there must be some commonality between what the first
and second characters are experiencing. There are words and phrases
that can be used to signal a change of viewpoint to the reader.
"Meanwhile", for example, if it is commonality of time. Or, if the
reason for the transition is to present the same scene from the point
of view of a different character, it may be sufficient simply to begin
a new paragraph with the name of that character. Example:
Marston was busy decorating the Christmas tree. He was having
a terrible time choosing what ornaments to stick where, as
decision-making had never been easy for him.
Meanwhile, Gladys was busy fighting downtown traffic on the
way home from a successful holiday shopping expedition. "We
should outlaw cars in the central city, as I have been urging
for many years," she grumbled.
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kami
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response 14 of 16:
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Dec 26 05:44 UTC 1994 |
counter example:
Ch. 3--
"April ran down to the swimming hole. She thought if she spent
even one more minute in the hay loft, she'd spontaneously combust like
the Johnson's barn did last year. As she passed the old cottonwood,
her clothes peeled off of her almost by themselves, and she hit the
water with a satisfying splash. It wasn't until she was thoroughly
cooled down that she noticed the eyes peeking through the foliage. She
bagan screaming before her mind even registered the booted foot below
them." etc. etc.
Ch. 4--
"John sat on the hard bench of the jail cell. He watched the
place between his boots where four tiles met. He tried not to think,
but images of the girl's naked shoulders kept rising before his eyes
like they had risen from the water. HE could no more look away now than
he could then, and he was no less mortified. Tongue tied as he was, slow
and unsure behind his stammer, John knew he had no hope of ever convincing
the sheriff that he had no "designs" upon his daughter. She had convicted
him of rape with one shrill reaction, and no words of his could ever call
it back."
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abchan
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response 15 of 16:
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Jan 16 23:39 UTC 1995 |
Hi! I'm back and with a new login.
Thanks for all the advice... I'll keep it all in mind.
And I did get an A in my Creative Writing class last semester
with these 4 scenes... now I'm looking for more to fit inbetween.
Any suggestions?
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abchan
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response 16 of 16:
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Dec 15 16:43 UTC 1995 |
DONE!!!!
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