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| Author |
Message |
selena
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Religious Conflicts <all>
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Sep 11 14:21 UTC 1995 |
Does religion impact sex for you? I mean, will you knowingly take
someone of a different faith/worldview to be your partner, or does the
idea turn you off? Have you ever been in a cross-faith relationship that
failed? that worked?
Also, does your religion specify how, when or with whom you should
have sex, and if so, how? Is it actually part of the faith, or just a
tenet that society has built into what it means to be a member of the faith?
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| 100 responses total. |
giry
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response 1 of 100:
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Sep 11 15:05 UTC 1995 |
I was raised a Catholic, but has also been taught about pagans, and have done
some magic of my own. I see the positive and negative of both. I like strong
community feeling that we have at my church, but at the same time i don't
believe in some of the churches teachings. Especially about sex before
marriage. I have only had sex once and I was in love. I only want to have sex
if I am in love, that is my own personal choice. I know that my God will
understand, how could something so beautiful not be shared? I have always been
accepted by my partners for my faith...
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birdlady
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response 2 of 100:
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Sep 11 18:14 UTC 1995 |
Like Colleen, I was raised Catholic, but I am a Pagan of my own choice, and
have been for three years. I believe that sex before marriage is perfectly
acceptable as long as you feel it is right. I have to care about a person
quite deeply before I can succomb to something like that because I attach
quite a few emotions to a sexual experience. Also, if you are in love with
a person, or simply love them, it brings you to a higher plane of
feelings...almost like levitating off of the bed. *sigh*
I have been in a relationship with someone of a different faith, and it didn't
end because of the faith, per se. It ended because a lot of our morals that
*dealt* with our faith weren't compatible. I need someone who can be very
open-minded and have a world view of something, or be willing to accept or
try anything as long as it doesn't hurt others.
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md
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response 3 of 100:
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Sep 11 20:21 UTC 1995 |
Sometimes when you have sex with a new person, the other person
might be assuming that the sex implies some sort of commitment
on your part. This is much more the case with sex than with
just about anything else two people can do together short of
getting engaged or married. No matter how much you want to have
sex with that person, you first have to find out if that's what
they're really thinking, and, if so, decide if you're ready to
make that commitment. If you don't make this effort beforehand,
the sex might be terriffic but the consequences later on can be
painful for one or both of you. You don't want to hurt someone.
That, plus some boilerplate about birth control and disease
prevention, is the extent of my advice to my kids about the
morality of sex. I realize that it isn't awfully religious,
but I don't know what else to tell them that wouldn't seem,
at least to me, like flaming hypocrisy. The basic message --
don't lie, even accidentally, but be honest with others -- is
*sort* of religious, I guess. [md checks for thunderclouds
overhead]
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phenix
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response 4 of 100:
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Sep 11 21:27 UTC 1995 |
oh yes, i agree wholehartedly with md.....
some people (like i used to be) put quite an emphasis on the act.....
it really does involve quite a bit of emotionall attachment.
i have to admit though, the sex was QUITE good....but the damage afterwords
when she turned out not to put any value on it at all is not doing
my stress and depression levels any good.
<sigh>
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birdlady
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response 5 of 100:
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Sep 11 22:06 UTC 1995 |
<birdy hugs phenix tightly> I understand, babes...
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brighn
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response 6 of 100:
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Sep 12 00:34 UTC 1995 |
Having sex, one thing.
A spin of my own, though: Discussing sexual mores with folks of other
religions. I mention this b/c my sexual behavior is well within the
confines of appropriate for *my* religion, but as for my father's (a
Methodist minister), well... that's another story. And my step-mother
(also a Methodist minister) implied strongly that Pagan priests (which I
am one of) are subject o the same sexual ethics rules that everyone else
is (including monogamy). *pout* Then again, we were discussing
hypotheticals and such... I have yet to get the courage to discuss
specifics and particulars.
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val
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response 7 of 100:
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Sep 12 18:14 UTC 1995 |
Subject to the same ethics and rules she holds to? or subject to the same
ethics and rules pagans hold? <'cause Mormans aren't monogamous either
<shrug>>
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phenix
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response 8 of 100:
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Sep 12 21:08 UTC 1995 |
<huggle val>
depends......
some of them are
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brighn
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response 9 of 100:
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Sep 13 00:14 UTC 1995 |
She seems to feel that Pagan priests are subject to the same sexual ethics
that all clergy are (i.e., christian sexual ethics)... she's normally much
more ecumenical than this. I think if I *could* explain the more difference,
I could broach the issue of polyamory. But since I have a vested interest,
I'm naturally nervous that it will go wrong...
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katie
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response 10 of 100:
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Sep 13 01:50 UTC 1995 |
Even many non-religious people think non-monogamy is unethical. It's not
a Methodist thing, especially.
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brighn
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response 11 of 100:
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Sep 13 05:44 UTC 1995 |
I wasn't implying that it was the exclusive province of Christianity, Katie.
It is the case that in some religions, polyamory is fully in line with
beliefs. Are clergy of one religious system subject to the ethical views
of other religions? I think not.
*sigh*
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phenix
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response 12 of 100:
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Sep 13 19:45 UTC 1995 |
some would argue that there is a higher, universal law that applies to all..
now, as far as i can tell, the only thing legally to work out is weather
or not it is a crime in the sate you are in. as for religon, remember
not all x-tians are monogomus....
by belief that is
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brighn
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response 13 of 100:
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Sep 13 20:07 UTC 1995 |
Almost everything sexual is illegal in Michigan, Greg.
Ah well, I was seeking advice. Instead I've gotten discouraging comments.
I suppose that's the advice. *sigh*
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birdlady
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response 14 of 100:
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Sep 13 20:36 UTC 1995 |
I agree with you, Brighn...I've just been kind of out of it lately due to some
disturbing news I received the other day. *sigh* Anyways, I believe that
it is fully acceptable to be in love with more than one person as long as they
are okay with it. If it matters to anyone, I'm a Pagan (Celtic).
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selena
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response 15 of 100:
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Sep 14 02:25 UTC 1995 |
People who believe that it is morally wrong to be polyamorous
shouldn't practice polyamory. Those who believe monogamy to be
morally wrong shouldn't practice monogamy.
Those who have no problem with either have the better situation,
though, IMHO.
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brighn
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response 16 of 100:
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Sep 14 03:22 UTC 1995 |
Yes, I know that, Selena ... and thanks for the words, Sarah.
I was starting to feel beleagured...
*still thinking about the parent discussion... and whether to bother with it*
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val
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response 17 of 100:
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Sep 14 14:36 UTC 1995 |
I didn't mean to be discouraging. Sort of just reacting to your mothers
comments, not your situation Brighn.
The way I decide whether or not to tell my parents things is if it
will accomplish anything productive. My parents read my ADF newsletter
over the summer <yes, they opened my private mail, but that is something
else> since they now make jokes about my 'witch' friends but dont seem to
be to upset, I let it lie. Sort of a polite ignoring of something
we both know to avoid a fight.
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birdlady
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response 18 of 100:
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Sep 17 22:03 UTC 1995 |
Same here, Val. My parents raised me as a Catholic, so we don't really
discuss the facts that I hold different beliefs and that my friends are "weird
witches". *sigh* My mother is fun to talk to because she expresses an
interest in mythology and the Celts, etc, and told me that if you can't
question a religion occassionally, then what is it worth? My dad, however,
isn't as open-minded as her, so he and I have never discussed it. My dad
drags me to church with him...my mother bought me a robe for
equinoxes/solstices...go figure... <g>
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selena
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response 19 of 100:
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Sep 18 19:37 UTC 1995 |
Your mom sounds very cool..
I know about closed-minded fathers.. of course, most of you KNOW
why, so I won't waste space with it again..
Is there anyone here who knows of good examples of religion
and sexuality going well together?
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giry
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response 20 of 100:
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Sep 20 18:14 UTC 1995 |
No not me...
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brighn
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response 21 of 100:
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Sep 20 19:40 UTC 1995 |
Religions that go well with sexuality? I know a few.
Problem is, practitioners tend to scmuck things up...
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phenix
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response 22 of 100:
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Sep 21 02:02 UTC 1995 |
<is nodding in agreement>
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val
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response 23 of 100:
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Sep 21 03:14 UTC 1995 |
I think that in theory Wicca tends to go well with sexuality, in theory.
At least sexuality is viewed as sacred and not a dirty icky thing to be done
the dark. But this is just in theory. Like always the people make or
break the theoretical. Myself - I'm a recovering Catholic
and the view that was taught to me as a child semetimes surfaces
<Ususally when I'm pondering the choices I've made>
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brighn
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response 24 of 100:
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Sep 21 17:16 UTC 1995 |
My point exactly, Val.
Although I wasn't talk about you specifically. :)
I'm talking, most recently, about Pagan-filled hot tubs where at least
one person grumbled about the behavior of others in their presence...
(not to name names publicly, although nobody here knows them anyway).
And that happens so many times.
One tenet of Wicca, and many paths of neopaganism, is sexual freedom --
sexuality as religious celebration, actually (to quote the Charge, "All
acts of love and pleasure are my rituals" -- that includes but is not
limited to scrumping). Problem is, a lot of polys (polyamorous = multiple
partners) seem to think that means that polyamory is superior to monogamy,
and a lot of monogamists are carrying their baggage in from other religions
and stamping it onto paganism.
That's not saying that all polys are like that, they aren't (Gods, I hope
I'm not). That's not saying all monogamists are like that, they aren't
(I know some nice Christian monogamists hanging out on grex who aren't).
That's not saying all sexual more conflicts are caused by poly/monogamist
fueds (since the person who left the hot tub is poly themself)...
But I *do* think that many of the sexual conflicts within neopagnaism are
caused by external noise -- either people scrumping everything that moves
b/c they feel free of the JudeoChristian anti-sexual confines (towards
certain kinds of sex), or people maintaining their sexual mores even though
those mores are almost in conflict with the tenets of their pagan path...
often this is just a problem with reconciliation of personal and religious
values.
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