response 1 of 31:

Oct 17 00:10 UTC 1994

Find some friends and hang in there! It happened to me, and I was made
to ffel like the anti-christ. To those of us raised in the fire and brimstone
fundametalist traditions, it's a tough road for most. That's some pretty tough 
stuff to shake. Talking about it definitly helps, here would be a great place.
I found that the Church of the Subgenius really helped me make light of the
whole evangelical thing.
I think the thing that got me was having good friends.

response 3 of 31:

Oct 17 03:15 UTC 1994

I did a LOT of crying in early high school.  I found it cathartic (no shit<g>)
and a necessary part of the process.  I suppose it helps that I hadn't 
previously had much in the way of serious friends.  It still bums me out 
that I can't really talk to my parents about stuff that's among the most
important parts of my life.  Fortunately my brothers are ok.  I've mostly
made my own "family" as I go along.  Community, real friends, etc. are more
important than I ever would have believed when I was a kid and a loner. 
My dear, you may notice that most of you friends, at least here on Grex,
have had experiences similar enough to yours and do have perceptions similar
enough to yours, to give you the corroboration and support you don't get
at "home".  Not that this is an easy time or anything, just that you've
already done the foundation work all unknowing.

Be well.  Peace.
Hugs, Kami

response 5 of 31:

Oct 17 17:15 UTC 1994

It's never too much Searcher, if it seems like it come out here and
we'll give you reasons why!
I agree Brighn, I had to make new friends that understood me too.
It's tough, but not impossible!
This is a great place to get virtual hugs, and meet people to get the
real ones too!

response 7 of 31:

Oct 21 01:33 UTC 1994

The beautiful happened last night.
I was at the Melissa Etheridge concert at the Hill last night.
My father passed away at 9:40pm.
I think October 19 1994 was the most `spiritual' day of my life.
If any of you were at the concert you might understand the feeling...
Thanks for the support... I really love all of you for it.

response 9 of 31:

Oct 21 06:59 UTC 1994

Uh... excuse me, but even if I WAS NOT clear that was rather mean.
I meant that if I hadn't been at that concert I might very well be
going crazy now.  I meant that the concert was a way  of saying
goodbye... and I also mean that you won't have a clue, since you
were not there, you were not with who I was with, and you did not have
the experience I experienced, therfore you should maybe not
EVER suggest that someone who has lost someone doesn't care about
that loss.  Forgive me if I'm being a bit rude myself, but
my dad is dead.  It DOES hurt.

response 11 of 31:

Oct 21 23:11 UTC 1994

Yep, I guess I missed something.  Sorry, gerund.

response 13 of 31:

Oct 22 21:03 UTC 1994

Arwen- ow!  Hell of a birthday present.  Must have done weird things to
the associations with  that date for you.  How do you handle it?

response 15 of 31:

Oct 24 03:07 UTC 1994

one of the major purposes of religion is to help us deal with death.  Death
is a necessary part of life, but not an easy one to reconcile.  

response 17 of 31:

Nov 9 01:11 UTC 1994

this is in response to the first comments/question.
I had a time , a few years ago when there were envents happening that my 
spiritual training in no way prepared me for.  In my case, I did not want
to believe in reincarnation, but it seemed to have unshakable belief in me
and things only got more and more confusing after tha - I won,t go into this
it would take far to long and I am srill sorting out parts of these
experiences. My religious mythology, legend, call them what you will; came
unravilled quicker tthen I could keep track of it.  My spiritual beliefs were
collapsing under weight of controdicting experiences.  A very frightening
thing.  To get  through this, , I ended up clinging to the ethical  values that
had serrved me well wthat I held sacred , and I held on to faith that there was
a greated force for good, nurturing, again, call it what you will.  and I
prayed as never before for guidence.  Guidence to show me the best path for me.
 It took awhile, but I found a path that was comfortable for me and those
ethics I valued I felt adrift in a quiet empty ocean for a long time, but
guidence di present itself.  Although I lost touch with a dear friend who did
not respect that "God" is only one name for the greater good, and no one
religion has a monopoly on "the Truth". If you are going through a similiar
spiritual crisis, I would advise you hold tight to those basic belief and
qualities you value.  Do not compromise the  type of person you want to be(
kind, caring, strong, whatever).  Find those ethical qualities that you value
and use to define yourself with and don't comprimise them for any person.  Then
remember what your " Higher Power" has always felt like to you, if you can ,
set all religious  stories aside..  Just hold on to the memory of that one
comforting feeling that  has never abandonded you(maybe it didn't give you all
you wanted.. but it  always nurtured you in time of need), find that feeling of
the Divine that has never let you down or left you when you needed it most. 
Then ask it to show you what YOUR path is , what is in your own best interest,
and work with what is presented to you.  Given time this will show you a
religion, philosophy, or maybe some thing else that is YOUR path. I know this
worked for me, and I have yet to hear of this sort of soul searching failing. 
Trust in the Higher good and be true to yourself.

response 19 of 31:

Nov 9 19:20 UTC 1994

Wow! twolf, that makes a LOT of sense.  I'm so glad you joined us here.
Be very welcome.

response 21 of 31:

Nov 10 10:47 UTC 1994

Yeah, it does.

response 23 of 31:

Nov 10 20:16 UTC 1994

        I may be wrong, but "twolf" in the context of "thylacine" is refferring
to the now-believed-to-be-extinct-but-still-occasionally-sighted Tazmanian
Tiger, also called the Tazmanian Wolf. It used to be quite the adept
(marsupial) predator.