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Grex > Scruples > #82: Butter side-up or Butter side-down???? | |
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| Author |
Message |
canis
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Butter side-up or Butter side-down????
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Oct 13 04:14 UTC 1994 |
Do you eat your bread butter side-up or do you eat your bread butter
side-down?
(hey I don't have to be serrious all the time do I??? |->)
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| 24 responses total. |
carson
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response 1 of 24:
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Oct 13 06:19 UTC 1994 |
butter-side up.
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popcorn
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response 2 of 24:
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Oct 13 13:36 UTC 1994 |
This response has been erased.
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brighn
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response 3 of 24:
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Oct 13 16:54 UTC 1994 |
Since bread always lands butter side down, and cats always land
on their feet, could we harness electricity by dropping a cat with
bread strapped to its back while attached to a generator?
Inquiring minds (like me!) want to know.
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omni
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response 4 of 24:
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Oct 13 17:33 UTC 1994 |
Up. It prevents the jelly and other good stuff from falling off. ;)
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tom67
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response 5 of 24:
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Oct 13 20:22 UTC 1994 |
Hmmm... I like Valerie's answer. But how about something like Promise Ultra
Fat-Free margarine? This stuff doesn't even melt! (well, OK *maybe* if
you nuke it long enough) I also like apple butter (also fat free:) ) on
my (fat-free oat bran/wheat/*anything* but white) bread. Maybe a little
honey....sound a little messy. Anyway, I have a full beard, so I have to
say "up" (I've tried it the other way--it wasn't pretty :( )
This whole thing is making me hungry! I'm going for today :)
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aruba
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response 6 of 24:
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Oct 14 02:38 UTC 1994 |
I dip my bread in olive oil and garlic.
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brighn
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response 7 of 24:
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Oct 14 20:55 UTC 1994 |
I don't butter my bread, but I butter my toast and eat it butter up.
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roz
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response 8 of 24:
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Oct 15 02:19 UTC 1994 |
If I'm eating Great Harvest bread, it doesn't need butter.
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gracel
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response 9 of 24:
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Oct 15 02:57 UTC 1994 |
Bread doesn't *always* fall butter-side down.
When under control, mine is always butter-side up. Not that it's
usually butter. (Our four-year-old has been known to object that
I said I was "buttering" something when in fact I was putting
margarine on it -- I got away with it by telling him that "margarine"
isn't a verb)
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zook
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response 10 of 24:
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Oct 15 18:44 UTC 1994 |
The probability that a piece of buttered bread will fall buttered
side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet. - Murphy.
I eat my bread plain, usually.
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aruba
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response 11 of 24:
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Oct 16 14:44 UTC 1994 |
(set math mode=on)
That saying in #10 has always bothered me. Probabilities are bounded
(by 1), but costs are unbounded, and you can't have a bounded quantity
that is proportional to an unbounded one. You could, however, have:
"The probability of a piece of bread falling butter-side *up* is
*inversely* proportional to the cost of the carpet."
(set math mode=off)
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zook
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response 12 of 24:
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Oct 18 15:44 UTC 1994 |
(math on)
That's not any better. 1/0 is not bounded, so free carpet could not
be evaluated (for those looking for the equation: Integral(P(x)dx) over
all x should=1. Integral((1/x)dx)=ln(x), which is unbound over any
interval that includes 0.
(math off)
Murphy should bother people, eh?
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popcorn
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response 13 of 24:
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Oct 18 21:49 UTC 1994 |
This response has been erased.
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aruba
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response 14 of 24:
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Oct 19 03:06 UTC 1994 |
(set math=on)
Well, I did assume that the cost of the carpet was bounded below, which I
think is more reasonable than assuming it's bounded above. But, if you
want a really good one, set
P(butter-side down on a carpet that costs x) = 1/2 + arctan(x)/pi
(set math=off)
Sorry for taking the fun out of it, non-math folks.
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carson
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response 15 of 24:
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Oct 19 04:52 UTC 1994 |
oh, I can still be a scientific type and experiment for fun!
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canis
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response 16 of 24:
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Oct 20 16:42 UTC 1994 |
consider this for a sec what if the bread land first butter side down on your
free carpet, and then bounces (hard to imagine but it has happened to me) and
lands on the other side??? Figure that one in HA! <G>
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zook
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response 17 of 24:
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Oct 21 23:19 UTC 1994 |
I would get a new kind of butter.
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gracel
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response 18 of 24:
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Oct 24 02:16 UTC 1994 |
For that matter, what if the bread lands on edge? It might even
stay that way, if it's close enough to a wall. (I've cleaned
something like margarine off a radiator cover a few times)
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tom67
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response 19 of 24:
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Oct 24 05:23 UTC 1994 |
How about if one were to make a sandwich out of the bread and butter
from two half-slices? This way one half would be butter side up and the
other half would be butter side down, yet unless the sandwich were to be
dismantled in some way, no butter should land on the carpet! Now, what
if the bread were formed into a Moebius Strip? Do you think there is even
a market for Moebius Bread? (if this is making no sense to anyone, please
observe the time of day it was entered...)
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aruba
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response 20 of 24:
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Oct 24 05:42 UTC 1994 |
Sure, I'd buy Mobius bread. Heck, we have toroidal bread (donuts), why
not Klein bottle bread while you're at it? Of course, it couldn't exist
in 3-space...
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brighn
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response 21 of 24:
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Oct 24 05:51 UTC 1994 |
Klein bread could rotate while it's cooking through the appropriate
topolgies.
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popcorn
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response 22 of 24:
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Oct 28 23:37 UTC 1994 |
This response has been erased.
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tom67
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response 23 of 24:
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Oct 31 18:18 UTC 1994 |
...and they have less fat...
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ewhisam
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response 24 of 24:
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Dec 28 03:14 UTC 1995 |
I never noticed probably either
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