response 1 of 1:

Jan 23 05:58 UTC 1995

YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN THE SCA WHEN...

...the question, "What century are you living in?" isn't an insult.
...you sign a check, using calligraphy.
...your friends aren't surprised to see you wearing a red dress.
...you smooth your pants when you sit, thinking you're wearing a skirt,
and you're a GUY!
...On the last day of Pennsic, you notice one of your friends walking
around somewhat awkardly, with a kind of spring to his step.  You ask
him what is wrong, and he replies, "I've been wearing dresses all week,
and these jeans just don't FEEL right!"
...you sit down to watch a sporting game on TV and ask, "Who's
fighting?"
...the Monday Night football crowd at your house consistently calls
football helmets "helms" and it's the second half before anyone notices!
...you reach in your pocket for change and find a Griffin groat.
...you see a college diploma on a friend's wall, and the first thing you
ask is, "Who did the calligraphy?"
...when you get a Christmas card in the mail and you look at the
shepherds and background figures with a magnifying glass to see the
costuming details.
...when you make your _own_ Christmas cards because your calligraphy is
better than the guy who works for Hallmark.
...you're a burly guy who looks like a Hell's Angel, but you do
embroidery in public.
...you watch Henry V (or the Zefferelli Romeo and Juliet) over, and
over, and over, again - for the costumes/fighting scenes...and sneer at
the B-flick versions of the same.
...your friends won't let you watch Robin Hood, or any other movie with
swords,fighting, or a medieval theme, because they are sick of hearing
you say,"That's NOT period."
...you enjoyed the latest Robin Hood, but found it mildly annoying.
...your reference section on your field of interest is better than the
equivalent section in the local library...and they call you when they
need an answer. 
...people don't assume that you're going in for surgery when you say,
"This weekend, I'm going to get my knees fixed".
...people don't assume you're in need of psychiatrist when you say,
"This weekend, I fell in love with a Pelican."
...you name your pets after obscure historical figures.
...you name your children after obscure historical figures.
...you call something by an unusual name and people _assume_ it must be
an obscure historical figure.
...you have to file a change of address at the Post Office for you and
your persona.
...you never *really* have to worry about Hallowe'en costumes.
...if you're male, you always walk on the left side of a woman.
...you blazon traffic signs.
...you chuckle at a bumper sticker, and a friend asked what it was, and
without thinking you reply,"Azure, a Bush argent and a Quayle purpure."
...while driving, you think "'Gules, three chevrons or.'  Nice tabard,
classic Anglo-Norman style, easily visible... Oh!  I guess it'd better
be visible, he's a road repair worker..." ]
...you describe your company's logo to the print shop using heraldic
terms.
...you're at a real-world wedding, and you find yourself bowing as the
 bridal procession goes by.
...you say at a wedding, "I don't get to do these modern dances
anymore," and then realize you are _waltzing_.
...you hear "brawl" and you look for a dance instead of a fight.
...at a bar, you finish dancing with a lovely lady and do a deep
reverance...and you've been two-stepping.
...everyone dances Karabushka at your parties.
...at church you pavanne step down the isle in time to the music when
you go up to take communion.
...you are wearing garb in public and someone asks you if you're in a
play.
...on your way home from an event, while still dressed in full 16th
century clothing, you pass an antique shop you had not visited before.
So you drop in.  The propriator asks, "Can I help you?" and you say,"I'm
just looking for something that fits my lifestyle."  After looking
around, he asks "Find anything?" and you truthfully answer, "Nope, it's
all too modern."
...you're walking down the street in garb and notice everyone looking at
you, then start trying to find the food stain on your tunic.
...you approach some unfamiliar gentles in garb to inquire about the
event -- "Is there a tourney or dance practice I didn't know about in
the area today?" -- and they greet you with blank stares until one of
them says:  "We're in a play."
...you're reading a book that involves the plague and can diagnose which
ofthe two or three types of plague it is from the sypmtoms.
...you _like_ metal dust in the air.
...your boss hands you a magazine and tells you to check out the article
on full armor.  But when you start leafing through the magazine
expecting to see pictures of helms, breastplates, etc, you discover that
it's an article about a Personal Computer security package called "Full
Armor."
...co-workers keep remarking on the odd tan lines you have.
...you show up for work on Monday with the most INTERESTING bruises. (Or
possibly a chain mail weave sunburn)...and you're a woman.
...you wear long-sleeved shirts to work in the Southwest in the summer
so they won't assume your fencing bruises are from your husband hitting
you.
...you wear your garb to work and they don't think you're weird.
...you meet a person for the first time and think to yourself, "I wonder
if he/she would fit in 14th century garb..."
...you see a group of attractive (men? women? whichever you prefer)
walking down the street in embroidered peasant costume, and think, "I'd
love to take *their* clothes off" ...because you'd like a closer look at
the garb.
...you can avail yourself of the Craftsman lifetime guarantee, because
your wire cutters are worn out from clipping chainmail links.
...the word "mail" is no longer something you get from the Post Office,
but something you wear.
...you ask the guy at the Welder's Supply store for 16 gauge steel wire
for chainmail and he gives you a blank look and asks, "What's
chainmail?"
...you have to explain to your parents that making chainmail doesn't
mean you're writing twenty copies of the same letter.
...you call the board meeting to order by shouting: "MY LORDS AND LADIES
- PRAY ATTEND!"
...you see a woman walking by in a cloak, and either think "I don't know
her" or "That's not period."
...you look at a fur coat and think trim...
...you only consider dogs that are period and make good napkins.
...you talk about historical figures in the present tense.
...you wonder what that endangered species tastes like.
.....you wonder if you can breed enough of them to serve at feast.
...you know what pigeons, sparrows and turtles *do* taste like.
...the thought of apples and onions cooked together is not repulsive.
...you get yelled at by the Legions of Political Correctness in World
Civ. class for agreeing with a Medieval Authority that Mongol food
tastes like an unwashed gambeson... even though you *know* that it does.
...out of a lecture class of 350+ you are the only one who knows what
the sides in the English Civil War were, that England actually had a
Civil War, what the War was about, and/or how to find England on a map.
...when an instructor asks students, as an exercise, to plan a trip to
1450 using just what the student has at home, and you say, "I'll wear my
houppelande with dagger and pack both my best armor and second-best
armor, along with the hand-and-a-half sword..."
...in property class, the Professor asks you what your opinions are on
the book's definition of fuedalism.
...you admire old stone buildings more than skyscapers.
.....you also know how to safely sap them.
...you find yourself mentally gutting and redesigning a building because
it looks remotely medeival and would look SO much better if they just
tore down that, and moved this to the left....
...you know more about European geography than wherever you are living.
...you know what kingdom and barony people live in but not what state.
...you find yourself trying to tell the traffic cop that the helm you're
wearing must meet motorcycle helmet standards, since the latter
obviously will not stand up to repeated blows and the helm does.
...you think Wile E. Coyote should be hanged for abusing anvils.
...you find yourself kissing a damsel's hand upon introduction -- and
you're at a business meeting.
...you find yourself rummaging around junk heaps and discarded piles of
carpet and mattresses -- to make carpet armor -- and you're not dressed
like a bag person.
...you tell people you're spending your summer vacation at a war -- and
you can't understand why they're staring at you.
...your sweatpants have holes in the knees and rust stains, because you
wore your armor over/under them.
...you sneer at "the Burger King" saying, "He's wearing a county
coronet".
...you watch the old replay of the Crowning of the English Queen
Elizabeth II and you recognize peoples ranks by the Coronets they are
wearing.
......and, while watching the same Crowning, you all of a sudden tell
your Lady, "We could use that stuff at our Coronation!"
...your kid gets a cardboard punch out castle and you
   a) take it away from him and put it together yourself.
   b) point out the flaws in the architecture.
   c) based on your assessment of the flaws in the architecture, figure
out how you and your household could hypothetically capture it if it was
a real castle.
...your kid gets a bunch of plastic knights you swipe them to outline
your tactical ideas for the next war/fighter practice with your friends.
...you hide the really awful costume references in the stacks at the
library so future costumers won't be led astray.  Or, you write
criticisms in the margins of said awful costume references.
...you "reality check" wargames and role-playing games by saying,
"That's wrong! I know that Duke Swaetsox can do X (where X = some
combat-related feat), I've seen people do that in the SCA!"
...your immediate family consists of only two rather small, thin people,
but you justify your purchase of a full-sized van/pickup truck saying
"We'll need the extra space for events!"
...you are looking at cars and you realize that the really fancy sports
car that is being raffled off is no good whatsoever -- it would maybe
hold one small armour bag.  No garb, tents, cooking gear....
...you can't actually haul any cargo in your cargo van, for all the
plastic barrels, shields, bags of armor, polearms, etc, permanently
stored in the cargo bay.
...your spare tire cover has your device on it.