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| Author |
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hokshila
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What is real recovery?
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Nov 4 01:36 UTC 1996 |
What does it mean to recover from an addiction? What is "real recovery"?
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| 8 responses total. |
void
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response 1 of 8:
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Nov 10 07:16 UTC 1996 |
it seems to me that you've reached "real recovery" when you reach the point
of not spending most of your day thinking about staying away from your
substance of choice, and when you've managed to remedy most if not all of your
addictive behaviors. that's not to say that they never crop up again (mine
do when i'm in times of extreme crisis), but more that avoiding both the
substance(s) and behaviors are no longer a constant, 24/7, conscious struggle.
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jaklumen
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response 2 of 8:
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May 13 02:46 UTC 2002 |
Such is the end product, of course. But how do you begin upon the
path to recovery?
The answer is simple in concept, but so difficult for those of us who
are addicted to follow.
It is the desire to be healed-- to be free in the sense that void
mentioned-- free from your substance of choice and the correlating
addictive behaviors. You want it so bad, you can taste it. You are
willing to do whatever it takes to be completely free. You are
willing to put joy and happiness in your life in pursuits and
activities that do not enslave you, i.e., you are not trading one
addiction for another.
That is another key behavior. You can't simply remove what is
plaguing you, because the emptiness will seek to be filled. The
hunger must be filled with something that can truly satisfy you. The
all-consuming hunger, which some folks call "The Beast," cannot be
allowed to remain in control.
A counselor recently told me something I really already knew, but he
said it so eloquently I think it's worth sharing. We discussed that I
need to have guidance and direction in my life again-- a purpose, a
focus. Without that, energy continues to build up inside me, and has
nowhere to go except for areas of weakness and vulnerability.
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cmcgee
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response 3 of 8:
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May 13 14:07 UTC 2002 |
A baby will take care of that problem quickly!
But, you do have to realize that is a temporary solution. It isn't healthy
for you or your kid (or spouse) to have your "direction" in life oriented
toward them.
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jaklumen
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response 4 of 8:
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May 14 02:39 UTC 2002 |
Not really. I have met so many ill people that have had babies, so
having a baby may be a motivator, but still..
Basically, I agree. I must heal *myself*. I have to do it for myself
first. Dragging others into it basically entails co-dependency and
other unhealthy relationships. I'm glad my wife helps me, but I know
my problems are mine, and hers are hers. And my new baby should have
healthy parents who have love and support to give, not an environment
corrupted by addiction.
Tired.. sorry, I may not be coherent.
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void
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response 5 of 8:
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May 14 15:28 UTC 2002 |
Well, Jon, you described addiction as a beast. This is something that
the Rational Recovery folk use (the jury is still out on Rational
Recovery as an effective method) to help themselves control their
urges. It's something I use when I'm teetering on the brink, too.
Picture your addiction as a monster which lives in your head. Picture
yourself imprisoning it by whatever means are most effective to you.
Now, learn to recognize your addictive voice -- the one telling you that
you can handle getting drunk/stoned one more time, that it's all right,
that no one will know, that you can handle it -- as the voice of that
beast, and start telling it to shut up.
Just as a reminder, I didn't go through any programs when I sobered up.
I did it myself, and found out years later that I had been using a mix
of the twelve steps and Rational Recovery methods. YMMV.
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jaklumen
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response 6 of 8:
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May 15 00:31 UTC 2002 |
Right. I became familiar with the basic tenets of Rational Recovery
at their website. It's simple and to the point, but I didn't find it
to be the magic bullet. It would make sense that they've got another
good piece of the puzzle, but that it may not be enough alone.
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void
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response 7 of 8:
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May 15 16:11 UTC 2002 |
Well, yeah. The stuff about locking up the beast and recognizing the
addictive voice is useful, though, when used with some of the steps.
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jaklumen
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response 8 of 8:
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May 19 21:24 UTC 2002 |
That seemed to be my observation.
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