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Grex > Reality > #13: A short lis of comparitive religions. | |
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moo
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A short lis of comparitive religions.
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Apr 9 19:50 UTC 1994 |
---
==================>A Short Guide to comparitive Religion<=================
---
Fatalism: shit happens
Confucianism: Confucious say, Rshit happens.S
Calvinism: shit happens because you donUt work hard enough.
Buddhism: If this shit happens, It really isnUt shit.
Seventh Day Adventist: No shit on Saturday.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hedonism: ThereUs nothing like good shit happening.
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Mormon: This shit is going to happen again.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Iranian Fundamentalist: You better stay off my shit list!
Moonies: Only happy shit really happens.
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Protestantism: Let this shit happen to someone else.
Catholicism: shit happens because you are BAD.
Judaism: Why is this shit always happening to us?
Hare Krishna: shit happens rama, rama.
Zoroastrianism: shit happens half the time.
Christian Science: This shit isnUt really happening
Extinstentialism: You create your own shit and make it happen.
Rastafarianism: LetUs smoke this shit!
Nihilism: Who gives a shit what happens?
JehovaUs Witnesses: Only 144,000 of us will get out of this shit.
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens and maybe it doesnUt.
Southern Baptists: shit happens only to moderates.
Unitarianism: Any kind of shit you want happens.
Secular Humanism: There are valid reasons shit happens.
Analytical Philosophy: Define Rshit,S define Rhappen.S
Pangolossianism: With all this shit, there must be a pony around here
somewhere. Atheism: Sheeit! --- ============================>The
End<============================== ---Questions, Comments?
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| 31 responses total. |
moo
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response 1 of 31:
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Apr 9 19:53 UTC 1994 |
Sorry about the problems with Jehovas Witnesses and Analytical Philosophy,
also, feel free to add any new "shit happens" for other religions, or improve
these.
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vidar
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response 2 of 31:
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Apr 9 20:54 UTC 1994 |
You sure like to swear a lot, don't you?
What the hell is Pangolossianism?
Would you care to indicate your feelings on: Satanism, Norse/Viking,
and Wicca?
Is "shit" your favourite word?
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jason242
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response 3 of 31:
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Apr 10 02:13 UTC 1994 |
Whasn't the graphic on a shirt?!?!?!?!?
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vishnu
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response 4 of 31:
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Apr 10 04:46 UTC 1994 |
Oh, yeah, just to tell everone,
this piece thaty moo has quoted
was originally done by Wavy Gravy
(wherein it was put on several
t-shirts)
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bubbles
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response 5 of 31:
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Apr 10 07:28 UTC 1994 |
Positive Thinking: If shit happens, it's free fertilizer.
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oreo
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response 6 of 31:
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Apr 10 20:22 UTC 1994 |
Pangolossianism is the belief that everything is for the best.
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moo
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response 7 of 31:
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Apr 10 20:53 UTC 1994 |
I found this in a Metro Detroit Humanist Newsletter.
--In responce to vidar:
Wicca: Shit happens at the crossroads.
Satanism: Goat Shit is best.
Norse: Shit happens in giant trees.
Add more shit happens stuff pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaze.
:->
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none
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response 8 of 31:
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Apr 10 22:20 UTC 1994 |
Vidar happens.
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vidar
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response 9 of 31:
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Apr 11 16:14 UTC 1994 |
Polaris is an idiot.
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kami
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response 10 of 31:
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Apr 11 23:07 UTC 1994 |
wouldn't "shit happens at the crossroads" fit vudoun or some other Yoruba
tradition better?
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orinoco
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response 11 of 31:
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Apr 13 19:39 UTC 1994 |
No, vidar, you've got it backwards--polaris is none's pseudo
Capitalism: BUY OUR SHIT!
Communism: We all own this shit together.
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carson
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response 12 of 31:
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Apr 13 20:04 UTC 1994 |
Nihilism should be "no sh*t?"
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vidar
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response 13 of 31:
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Apr 13 23:52 UTC 1994 |
Atheist: Shit happens because there is order.
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robh
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response 14 of 31:
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Apr 15 02:01 UTC 1994 |
Wicca: Shit makes the flowers grow.
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kami
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response 15 of 31:
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Apr 16 05:46 UTC 1994 |
there you go. :)
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vidar
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response 16 of 31:
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Apr 16 19:02 UTC 1994 |
I'm going off to the purple haze. See you in a few.
<vidar does not REALLY do drugs>
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daniel
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response 17 of 31:
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May 14 19:59 UTC 1994 |
A better Jehovah's Witnesses:
Knock knock, "Shit Happens"
Bobbitism: SHIT HAP
Gullibilism: did you know "shit" isn't in the dictionary?
Energizerism: it keeps shitting, and shitting, and shitting...
Cocainism: This is GOOD shit!
Darwinism: may the best shit win
Taoism: shit can only happen if you're constipated
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carson
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response 18 of 31:
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Aug 8 01:39 UTC 1994 |
(I wish I *had* forgotten this item. What a waste of diskspace.)
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kami
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response 19 of 31:
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Aug 8 05:19 UTC 1994 |
I think it's cute!
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dang
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response 20 of 31:
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Aug 9 00:48 UTC 1994 |
i agree!
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carson
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response 21 of 31:
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Aug 10 08:05 UTC 1994 |
(I'm glad you agree it's a waste of diskspace!)
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dang
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response 22 of 31:
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Aug 11 03:52 UTC 1994 |
i still like it
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orinoco
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response 23 of 31:
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Mar 19 17:17 UTC 1995 |
grex: this shit is rapidly drifting
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cyberpnk
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response 24 of 31:
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Mar 21 00:54 UTC 1995 |
Highlanderism: There can be only one shit!
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