|
|
| Author |
Message |
toking
|
|
"Diseased like us" toking
| 
Jun 11 16:47 UTC 1999 |
In the beginning,
God said "Let there be..."
and that's went it all went wrong
He could have said
"let there be peace"
or
"let there be love"
or maybe
"let there be understanding,
no matter how limited
no matter how frail
let there be true understanding"
but no
God said "light"
His expectations were much too high
Except we're all modeled after him
Right?
does that mean God is broke?
does that mean God is deseased
like us
his perfect little children
|
| 11 responses total. |
toking
|
|
response 1 of 11:
|
Jun 11 16:48 UTC 1999 |
broke should be broken
|
toking
|
|
response 2 of 11:
|
Jun 11 16:48 UTC 1999 |
deseased should be diseased
(I"m full of typos today...)
|
orinoco
|
|
response 3 of 11:
|
Jun 11 22:27 UTC 1999 |
And you're just gonna _end_ there?! Oy... I think this needs to be a good
bit longer, or at least resolve a good bit more firmly - right now it feels
like a strong beginning with no ending attatched.
|
flem
|
|
response 4 of 11:
|
Jun 13 06:24 UTC 1999 |
I'm with orinoco there. This is a very interesting idea, what it might
have been like if God had said "let there be understanding" et al., and
I would like to see it expounded on a little more. Wax eloquent about
what life might have been like with love or understanding as the quantum
of the universe instead of light, if emotion or wisdom ruled instead of
cold facts. I think that the idea of God as mistaken, even diseased or
delusional, makes a good conclusion, but it needs to be stronger and
probably lengthier. OTOH, I suspect, if I were to try to work with the
ideas you suggest, that I might come to a different place and need a
different conclusion. You may find that you do also.
Also, I don't like the line that's just "or". I think the rhythm and
the grammar both work better without that line.
|
jshafer
|
|
response 5 of 11:
|
Jun 13 08:56 UTC 1999 |
Oooh. Great beginning. Excuse me, I'm gonna go read that again...
|
lumen
|
|
response 6 of 11:
|
Jun 15 07:02 UTC 1999 |
Great poetry, and yes, it could use some elaboration..not sure I agree with
the content..I always think that mere mortals writing about God is like
preschoolers discussing the philosophies of their parents-- they don't go into
much detail, if they do, and deeply understanding it is much to difficult at
their age.
I believe we are gods in embryo, raised to become such by a Supreme Creator--
analagous to babies eventually learning to become parents by their own folks..
but I digress..
|
toking
|
|
response 7 of 11:
|
Jun 15 17:37 UTC 1999 |
If we are being raised to become gods then I fear for everything that we
may create
(The title bugs the crap out of me, I'm gona have to rename it at some
point)
(The piece formerly know as)
"Diseased like us" v.2
In the beginning,
God said "Let there be..."
that's went it all went
wrong
Why didn't He say
"Let there be peace"
all of our weapons
would go uncreated
and our too short lives
would go undisputed
Why didn't He say
"Let there be love"
all of our children
could ripen without
bitterness or hate
galvanized trash cans
could avoid the taint
of cast away infants
Why didn't He say
"Let there be truth,
No matter how small
No matter how frail
Let there be one truth"
hope could be more fact
than forgotten dream
Damn Gods slip of tongue!
God insisted "light"
We opened our eyes
His expectations
were much too high
He lent us beauty
we took it inside
wrapped it about us
claimed it for our own
stole what was not ours
and destroyed what was
what we could have learned
was broken with glee
everything we touched
we filled with cancer
and we're all modeled
in his pristine shape
so is god broken?
so is god diseased?
just like his children
tainted to the core
|
flem
|
|
response 8 of 11:
|
Jun 15 22:44 UTC 1999 |
I, for one, like that much better. :)
|
lumen
|
|
response 9 of 11:
|
Jun 16 08:05 UTC 1999 |
no need to fear to create. We already have the potential to do so, when we
become parents. That is one of the beliefs of my faith, that God loves being
a parent-- we address him as "Father" so much (some say "Mother," but I tend
to think of a "Mother" there, too)
|
toking
|
|
response 10 of 11:
|
Jun 16 16:22 UTC 1999 |
in resp:4 flem stated "I suspect, if I were to try to work with the
ideas you suggest, that I might come to a different place and need a
different conclusion."
give it a whirl, I'd like to see what comes of it :)
|
flem
|
|
response 11 of 11:
|
Jun 23 22:09 UTC 1999 |
I may do that. :)
|