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| Author |
Message |
woman
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Two roses
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May 23 04:17 UTC 1999 |
Two roses
Two roses.....two people
so much pain
when there should be
Joy
Tears and darkness
no way out
when there should be
Sunshine and laughter
Echoes in empty halls
Voices tearing at the soul
when there should be
Warm tender embraces
Love filling the heart
Angry claws pulling deeper
into the hungry vortex
when there should be
Wings stretching, soaring
in flight.
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| 7 responses total. |
toking
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response 1 of 7:
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May 23 20:34 UTC 1999 |
ACK!!!!! I like what's here...but it seems way too unfinished....
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woman
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response 2 of 7:
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May 24 02:32 UTC 1999 |
I agree with unfinished..too rough...I thought I'd post it anyway.
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lumen
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response 3 of 7:
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Jun 2 03:16 UTC 1999 |
It has potential.
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flem
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response 4 of 7:
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Jun 4 02:29 UTC 1999 |
I kept waiting for the rose metaphor to come back. The image of two
beautiful roses, tangled in each other's thorns, is too appropriate to
the subject to be left undeveloped.
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woman
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response 5 of 7:
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Jun 4 05:17 UTC 1999 |
I am outta words at the moment so maybe that's why it just stopped.
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bookworm
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response 6 of 7:
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Jun 17 20:19 UTC 1999 |
Most poems just stop themselves dear. I think the unfinished feeling adds
meaning. You know like there should be some sort of closure in the
relationship discussed above, but there isn't. The two people just go on
being close and being unhappy. I've known relationships that were like that
for quite a while.
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lumen
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response 7 of 7:
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Jun 17 20:37 UTC 1999 |
Of course, the work is finished when the artist says it is.
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