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| Author |
Message |
heman
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our last talk - HeMan
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Apr 25 06:13 UTC 1999 |
our last talk
-------------
its dark out here
i can hardly see you
your touch is cold
voice is dull
it was not like that
when we first met
love-at-first-sight
(we called it once)
(you remember?)
we spent time togather
and our dislike grew
we have fought many a times
(unexpectedly!)
why?
why? why? why?
it makes no sense!
i love you
you said you loved me
(you didn't?)
sex is good
life is fun
(you think?)
then what! why?
(is there someone?)
please talk
(who?) why?
was it because i forgot to call?
(nah! you said it was okay)
did i forget to mention enough
how beautiful you are?
is it because i broke that glass?
(i never meant to honey)
tell me
we can work it out
i will never watch football
(not even the playoffs)
and we can move the bed
(promise)
(what else did i forget?)
i will water the flowers
(what else?)
and you would not see me
wearing that blue shirt again
(what else?)
i would come home early
(i sure will try)
everyday!
no.. don't cry no
please
where are you going
wait
wait darling don't leave me!
wait!
wait!!
<slam>
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| 5 responses total. |
arianna
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response 1 of 5:
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Apr 26 00:55 UTC 1999 |
I like it.
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toking
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response 2 of 5:
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Apr 26 09:13 UTC 1999 |
unles I'm mistaken, long time no post...good return :)
The layout is wonderful...kinda brings the frustration and desperation
home
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bookworm
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response 3 of 5:
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Apr 27 22:30 UTC 1999 |
Nice comeback, HeMan.
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heman
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response 4 of 5:
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Apr 28 05:03 UTC 1999 |
thanks for your appreciation. i was away for a while, but that doesn't mean
its a comeback of any sorts... this is more or less my normal turnaround time
;)
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lumen
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response 5 of 5:
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Jun 2 02:23 UTC 1999 |
This would work very, very well as a monologue in a theatrical setting.
Your reminsicing seems recent, urgent, and fresh enough that a dramatic
interpretation on a stage would be appropriate.
I like the twist at the end that feels like a flashback-- using the
present tense in the voicing.
Will you get this put into a set of one-act plays and tell me how it
worked?
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