savior

Mar 16 02:18 UTC 1999

the painful glimmer of an angel,
just beyond my reach..
hope pours from his mouth--
compassion is shared with each touch.
all i could need--
all i could possibly desire,
all i could never deserve..
and oh the guilt..
the tangled web of want within me.
ripping away at my being--
making my stomache turn with regret...
but the glisten of his wings..
his strong, reassuring words;
whispering--
lulling me into a deeper state of conciousness--
transforming me into a better person...
i'd die a million times over again,
just to show him how he has moved me.
i've lost my faith,
and watched everyone i've loved give in,
but i swore to him i will never give up..
the warming light within him,
seemed to rush into me as we embraced.
so much pain,
but so much faith in us..
two souls united in the cold of the night,
clinging to oneanother--
watching time erode to a pleasent stop.
this moment i'll hold to;
i'll cherish,
and pray to grow from..
i will watch my inangibe seraph from a longing distance...
though all is not lost,
for i carry a peice of his soul within me..
and that itself can never be destroyed. 

response 2 of 5:

Mar 16 06:33 UTC 1999

hauntingly and chillingly lovely-- flows nice due to the storytelling 
style.

One thing, though-- I find the abundant use of dashes and ellipses 
clutters the poem a bit, visually, although it dictates the pace well.  
You might try what e.e. cummings would do sometimes and use spacing to 
indicate pace. 

response 4 of 5:

Mar 19 19:55 UTC 1999

i'd hoped you'd like it joe...