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| Author |
Message |
bookworm
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My Enemy, Myself
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Mar 8 22:19 UTC 1999 |
Another person lives in me.
Someone I never knew existed.
She carries a knife--
Cuts my friends, family--
Hurts people.
I fight with her;
Try to restrain her,
Keep her in her iron cage
Where she lived before I knew her.
I try to keep her chained and gagged;
Try to keep her veiled from sight.
But I never knew how strong she'd become;
Stronger every day,
Her knife sharper.
She will no longer be caged, chained, hidden.
She shrugs these things off with ever greater ease
I must become strong as well,
Build my cage out of stronger stuff.
Force her to wear a leash.
Not an easy task.
She is already too strong.
-8 March, 1999
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| 7 responses total. |
lumen
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response 1 of 7:
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Mar 8 23:13 UTC 1999 |
I told Julie I relate. I interpreted it as she intended to express
herself, but she has told me already that she has gotten several
different interpretations.
She has somewhat of a little following, because she is quite unabashed
about sharing her work. This one has been well appreciated so far.
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toking
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response 2 of 7:
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Mar 9 13:17 UTC 1999 |
I like this, very slick
my one suggestion: let her out, just keep a tazer handy
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bookworm
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response 3 of 7:
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Mar 11 07:15 UTC 1999 |
Oo. Joe, that sounds kinky!
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toking
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response 4 of 7:
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Mar 11 18:04 UTC 1999 |
<rotfl>
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arianna
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response 5 of 7:
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Mar 14 07:53 UTC 1999 |
my only suggestion would be to strike the line, "Hurts people." in the first
stanza.
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bookworm
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response 6 of 7:
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Apr 13 04:32 UTC 1999 |
Why for?
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arianna
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response 7 of 7:
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Apr 22 22:24 UTC 1999 |
I kinda like the sound of the stanza without it, I guess... it seems a little
redundant to my ears. "of course cutting hurts," is the thought that first
zipped across the backs of my eyeballs. *shrug* if you like it, leave it;
it's not a huge deal whether it's there or not. (I'm just over critical,
don't mind me.)
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