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| Author |
Message |
toking
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"forever" toking
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Mar 8 17:31 UTC 1999 |
"forever"
grey I burn
twisted or twisting
falling like it's flying
and trying not to stop
calling and calling
and I know you don't hear
but I can't stop
I won't stop
nothing can make me
nothing can force me
I won't forget again
I can't let it die again
twisted or twisting
living or dying
the difference is so minute
the more you look
the more you want
I've got one
I don't need the other
so
STOP
look me in the eye
do you see what's hiding
do you see what's fallen
what's falling or flying
or fleeing
it's more that I am
more than I could ever be
look at it
recognize it
forget it and forget everything
simply remember forever
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| 4 responses total. |
bookworm
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response 1 of 4:
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Mar 8 19:21 UTC 1999 |
OO. I get to be first?
This is highly interesting work, Joe.
It reads like a fast thought.
I particularly like this part:
"but I can't stop
I won't stop
nothing can make me
nothing can force me
I won't forget again
I can't let it die again..."
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lumen
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response 2 of 4:
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Mar 8 23:06 UTC 1999 |
Joe, I'm going to plead once again-- once you have music to your poetry,
and it is recorded, send it to us. Please. As a lover of music and as
an aspiring music educator, I'm just drooling with anticipation to hear
your songwriting skills take flight. This style of poetry fits you like
a glove, and I can't wait to hear it realized. This poem is another
fine example.
|
orinoco
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response 3 of 4:
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Mar 9 01:58 UTC 1999 |
Hmmm....I like this. The pairs of words ("twisted or twisting", "falling
like it's flying", etc.) are cool, and I like the way they repeat
throughout the poem - it kind of holds it together. And FWIW, I second
Jon's usual plea. If nothing else, make yrself some music to read this
over.
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bookworm
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response 4 of 4:
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Mar 11 07:12 UTC 1999 |
I third the motion. I want to hear the music for this also.
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