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| Author |
Message |
zoe
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loss
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Mar 4 00:54 UTC 1999 |
this mournful heart suddenly aches to beat as it once did.
weaving in and out of reality--
how much can one endure until it all spills over...
until it hurts so much, breathing is no longer an option...
my rotting insides now taint all i once cherished,
i've lost all so precious;
so intense,
so real....
i greive the ruin of all that could have been;
falling to my knees begging the gods to end this suffering.
the frozen earth beneath my cheek,
eating away my melancholy-sickness--
taking in my body to be cleansed of my anguish.
but my hope has decayed along with my will to go on,
the frail, porcelain angel has now fallen from her perch--
left in peices on the floor.
set me free from this flesh-container...
let me be as i once was.
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| 13 responses total. |
zoe
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response 1 of 13:
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Mar 4 00:56 UTC 1999 |
This response has been erased.
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zoe
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response 2 of 13:
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Mar 4 00:57 UTC 1999 |
i really just don't know anymore...
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lumen
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response 3 of 13:
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Mar 4 04:42 UTC 1999 |
Poetry is good therapy, and it is possible to pick up the shattered
remains of yourself. Just give yourself time, and be patient.
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toking
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response 4 of 13:
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Mar 4 17:32 UTC 1999 |
O.K., you already know that I like this...and most times I feel
comfortable doing what I"m about to do, but most times I don't actually
know the people I do it to, so you aren't allowed to get all uppity on
me....any way...
I do enjoy this, but it seems like the lines could be arranged a little
differently...knida like this:
this mournful heart suddenly aches
to beat as it once did.
weaving in and out of reality--
how much can one endure
until it all spills over...
until it hurts so much,
breathing is no longer an option...
my rotting insides now taint all i once cherished,
i've lost all so precious;
so intense,
so real....
i greive the ruin
of all that could have been;
falling to my knees
begging the gods
to end this suffering.
the frozen earth beneath my cheek,
eating away my melancholy-sickness--
taking in my body
be cleansed of my anguish.
but my hope has decayed
along with my will to go on,
the frail, porcelain angel
has now fallen from her perch--
left in peices on the floor.
set me free from this flesh-container...
let me be as i once was.
but it's just a suggestion....
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logansan
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response 5 of 13:
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Mar 4 23:15 UTC 1999 |
.... once again, Bravo, zoe frost :)
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zoe
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response 6 of 13:
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Mar 7 22:42 UTC 1999 |
welcome to my hell...
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bookworm
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response 7 of 13:
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Mar 8 06:27 UTC 1999 |
Lay off, Joe. :) I like it like it is. I always get pissed when people
rearrange my work. Then, I feel like I should write "by Julie Pratt
with assistance from X Kibitzer (or whatever ther person's name is)."
It just doesn't feel so much like my work anymore. I don't know if zoe
asked you to rearrange the peom or not and I'm not trying to be
offensive, I'm just speaking my mind.
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toking
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response 8 of 13:
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Mar 8 12:22 UTC 1999 |
O.K. uhmmm....you know...I'm probably gonna look like a prick
here..but...
No..I will not "lay off" zoe knows I love the shit out of her work...and
this is no exception, if I happen to want to suggest something I think I
should, if zoe agrees with it, great, if not, even better.
If I go through here and read something and an idea hits me about
something someone's posted then I'm sure as shit going to mention it,
wether it's something zoe writes, something you write, or something
jesus christ writes.
I'm not telling her to change anything, I'm simply saying that it seems
as though it could be rearranged slightly.
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orinoco
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response 9 of 13:
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Mar 8 14:11 UTC 1999 |
<nods to Joe...this is a forum for getting suggestions, not just compliments.
you can always ignore suggestions, too, if you want>
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bookworm
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response 10 of 13:
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Mar 8 19:17 UTC 1999 |
Sorry. Guess I'm being something of a butt. I've been sick for two
weeks, but they won't let me off work or school so that I can get well,
so I'm just a little cranky. Sorry, I took it out on you Joe. No hard
feelings?
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toking
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response 11 of 13:
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Mar 8 19:30 UTC 1999 |
never dear lady :)
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bookworm
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response 12 of 13:
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Mar 8 22:16 UTC 1999 |
<blush> Thanks
<cough, hack, wheeze>
I'm next to post something.
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allida
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response 13 of 13:
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Apr 5 18:21 UTC 1999 |
wow.
i lvoed it.
reminds me ofthe thing that tears at me sometimes. don't let it tear you too
smal because it is the thing which lets you be big even as it makes you
small... oh boy i am not making sens.
anyway i love it and empathize
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