McGonigall Centenary

Oct 7 12:53 UTC 2002

The 29th of September 2002, last week, was the hundredth anniversary of
the death of Scotland's greatest bad poet, William Topaz McGonagall.

It seems quite fitting that he should be honored in the Poetry conference,
since his poems are, if nothing else, inimitable.

Though McGonagall was the butt of many cruel jokes during his life, all of
his poems have been published and remain in print a century after his
death, a rare accomplishment for any poet.  They're all available online,
too, at http://www.mcgonagall-online.org.uk/poems/ so you can pick and
choose among his many poetic gems.

He is probably best known for his two Tay Bridge poems, the first
a celebration of the construction of the longest railway bridge
in the world over the Tay river at Dundee in 1879, and the second on
the occasion of its collapse six months later. (Full historical details
are available online at the URLs cited.)  Without further ado,
the Alpha and Omega of the Tay Bridge, by William Topaz McGonagall.

   ----------------------------- cut here -----------------------------

   The Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay
    Tirage ` part de www.mcgonagall-online.org.uk/poems/pgbridge.htm

    Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay!
    With your numerous arches and pillars in so grand array
    And your central girders, which seem to the eye
    To be almost towering to the sky.
    The greatest wonder of the day,
    And a great beautification to the River Tay,
    Most beautiful to be seen,
    Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.

    Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay!
    That has caused the Emperor of Brazil to leave
    His home far away, incognito in his dress,
    And view thee ere he passed along en route to Inverness.

    Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay!
    The longest of the present day
    That has ever crossed o'er a tidal river stream,
    Most gigantic to be seen,
    Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.

    Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay!
    Which will cause great rejoicing on the opening day
    And hundreds of people will come from far away,
    Also the Queen, most gorgeous to be seen,
    Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.

    Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay!
    And prosperity to Provost Cox, who has given
    Thirty thousand pounds and upwards away
    In helping to erect the Bridge of the Tay,
    Most handsome to be seen,
    Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.

    Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay!
    I hope that God will protect all passengers
    By night and by day,
    And that no accident will befall them while crossing
    The Bridge of the Silvery Tay,
    For that would be most awful to be seen
    Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.

    Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silvery Tay!
    And prosperity to Messrs Bouche and Grothe,
    The famous engineers of the present day,
    Who have succeeded in erecting the Railway
    Bridge of the Silvery Tay,
    Which stands unequalled to be seen
    Near by Dundee and the Magdalen Green.

   -----------------------------
   The Tay Bridge Disaster
    Tirage ` part de www.mcgonagall-online.org.uk/poems/pgdisaster.htm

    Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv'ry Tay!
    Alas! I am very sorry to say
    That ninety lives have been taken away
    On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
    Which will be remember'd for a very long time.

    'Twas about seven o'clock at night,
    And the wind it blew with all its might,
    And the rain came pouring down,
    And the dark clouds seem'd to frown,
    And the Demon of the air seem'd to say-
    "I'll blow down the Bridge of Tay."

    When the train left Edinburgh
    The passengers' hearts were light and felt no sorrow,
    But Boreas blew a terrific gale,
    Which made their hearts for to quail,
    And many of the passengers with fear did say-
    "I hope God will send us safe across the Bridge of Tay."

    But when the train came near to Wormit Bay,
    Boreas he did loud and angry bray,
    And shook the central girders of the Bridge of Tay
    On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
    Which will be remember'd for a very long time.

    So the train sped on with all its might,
    And Bonnie Dundee soon hove in sught,
    And the passengers' hearts felt light,
    Thinking they would enjoy themselves on the New Year,
    With their friends at home they lov'd most dear,
    And wish them all a happy New Year.

    So the train mov'd slowly along the Bridge of Tay,
    Until it was about midway,
    Then the central girders with a crash gave way,
    And down went the train and passengers into the Tay!
    The Storm Fiend did loudly bray,
    Because ninety lives had been taken away,
    On the last Sabbath day of 1879,
    Which will be remember'd for a very long time.

    As soon as the catastrophe came to be known
    The alarm from mouth to mouth was blown,
    And the cry rang out all o'er the town,
    Good Heavens! the Tay Bridge is blown down,
    And a passenger train from Edinburgh,
    Which fill'd all the peoples hearts with sorrow,
    And made them for to turn pale,
    Because none of the passengers were sav'd to tell the tale
    How the disaster happen'd on the last Sabbath day of 1879,
    Which will be remember'd for a very long time.

    It must have been an awful sight,
    To witness in the dusky moonlight,
    While the Storm Fiend did laugh, and angry did bray,
    Along the Railway Bridge of the Silv'ry Tay,
    Oh! ill-fated Bridge of the Silv'ry Tay,
    I must now conclude my lay
    By telling the world fearlessly without the least dismay,
    That your central girders would not have given way,
    At least many sensible men do say,
    Had they been supported on each side with buttresses,
    At least many sensible men confesses,
    For the stronger we our houses do build,
    The less chance we have of being killed.