|
|
| Author |
Message |
bookworm
|
|
Audition
| 
Feb 3 07:41 UTC 1999 |
I. Waiting Room
Nervous, I sit.
Foot-tapping, tongue-wagging,knee-knocking,
White-knuckled nervous.
All around me other people move
talk
breathe!
I sit, nervous.
Buried in a heavy tale to keep the wild feeling down.
It lays,
A horrid, spiteful creature,
Right below my breasts,
Waiting.
II. Entering the Theater
I am called with some others.
I must unbury myself from my tale
And fight the creature to the floor again without it.
The creature howls,
struggles.
I sift through my memory for the piece in my mind,
Try to distract the beast with it.
We enter a room filled with people.
The hateful creature begins to get loose.
It isn't distracted by the words,
I take a deep breath
And muscle it back to the ground again.
I find a place and sit firmly
On top of the creature.
Be still!
III. The Audition Itself
My name is called.
It is a real struggle to keep the beast
(Foul creature)
Hidden from those at the table.
I take one more breath to try to calm the creature
It will not be calmed.
I must clearly recite the piece
While I fight to keep the horrid thing
Out of sight.
At last I am finished
Yet not.
I still have to sit down again.
I drag the creature back to my seat.
Then, reluctantly, I release it.
|
| 13 responses total. |
bookworm
|
|
response 1 of 13:
|
Feb 3 07:43 UTC 1999 |
This is another one of those Julie Pratt Special-Written-on-the-Spot
poems. Anybody care to comment?
|
toking
|
|
response 2 of 13:
|
Feb 3 15:37 UTC 1999 |
I like this...but one spot kinda bugs me:
"I must unbury myself from my tale
And fight the creature to the floor again without it.
The creature howls,
struggles."
am I missing somethign or is it O.K. to ask "Without what?"
|
lumen
|
|
response 3 of 13:
|
Feb 3 23:54 UTC 1999 |
Grammatically, this is awkward and you leave your meaning unclear.
|
bookworm
|
|
response 4 of 13:
|
Feb 4 01:54 UTC 1999 |
I know. I had a look at it. I've fixed it, I hope, and, when it's
completely fixed, I'll re-post it under a different item and you guys
can tell me what you think. Okay?
|
rajababu
|
|
response 5 of 13:
|
Feb 4 09:07 UTC 1999 |
just a musing
love does not command
love does not demand
it frees your mind
does not keep you in a bind
for binds bring sorrow
and everything is gone by tomorrow
and then there is pain
and we see that everything was in vain
love is not pleasure
love is not sorrow
love is no toy
for love is sheer joy
(penned this down a few days back....and found this poetry room here so just
thought would put it here )
|
cloud
|
|
response 6 of 13:
|
Feb 5 03:01 UTC 1999 |
Uhm, mayhaps you could put this in a new item, Rajababu... It's nice, but,
ah, in this item I think... that is: This item is here to discuss Julie's
peice, to be blunt.
About Julie's piece:
I can somewhat emphasize with this one, but I'm not sure I know what
"the beast" is that you're refering to. I think perhaps you are talking about
a rather violent nerveousness; sweating, shakes, etc, that some of us are
inclined to.
|
cloud
|
|
response 7 of 13:
|
Feb 5 03:08 UTC 1999 |
I've moved Rajababu's piece to it's own item, where it can get some proper
attention. (item 522)
|
bookworm
|
|
response 8 of 13:
|
Feb 5 04:45 UTC 1999 |
cloud you are correct...
The beast referred to is nervousness.
Tell the man what he's won, Johnny
It's a brand new car!!
|
lumen
|
|
response 9 of 13:
|
Feb 5 23:39 UTC 1999 |
Julie got some feedback from a friend of ours and she picked right up on
it. She identified correctly the urge to hang on to that fear and
nervousness, and a reluctance to let it go.
|
allida
|
|
response 10 of 13:
|
Feb 6 02:29 UTC 1999 |
nice...
i like it... nervousness very well fits..
|
bookworm
|
|
response 11 of 13:
|
Feb 8 00:29 UTC 1999 |
<bows> Thank you. Thank you. No applause, please.
Just throw money.
<grins>
|
allida
|
|
response 12 of 13:
|
Feb 8 19:29 UTC 1999 |
<allida doesn't have any money to throw.>
throw money at me please?????
<j/k>
|
toking
|
|
response 13 of 13:
|
Feb 17 18:22 UTC 1999 |
(linked to the new poetry conf)
|
