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| Author |
Message |
cloud
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The Face
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Feb 3 03:11 UTC 1999 |
Black brown hair hovers at the top of
a medium-tall height,
and dark brown eyes peer out from beneath
thick "Groucho Marx" eyebrows,
which can occasionally twist into a full
paragraph of expression.
Eyes too dark to be "puppy dog,"
and too light to be "black".
Young eyes, often wide, but sometimes
hidden from a bright and squinty sun
by slight shades or thin glasses,
clearing up a slightly fuzzy world and
adding a shade of sophistication.
Moves down to a nose of medium length,
bulbous end, but straight, with
a widening in the middle.
Nostrils, sometimes flared, but
often not, conveying scents and
air to cavernous lungs (which are below our field of study).
Slip-sliding to the sides,
and below the thick dark hair,
with the tops in accordance to the
eyes,
are the ears, of smallish size,
but still in good working condition.
They stick a little but not to far,
and are good for hanging things like eyeglasses,
which they often do.
Follow down the cheek bones,
in strong configuration,
highlighting cheeks,
slightly pocked from teenage
acne, and onto a chin,
slightly fuzzy from lack of shaving,
round, but lacking dimple or cleft.
Glancing back upward to lips,
red from occasional biting,
slightly chapped.
Not full, but not thin,
hanging below the floom (below the nose),
quivering slightly, as if
nervous, while
approaching you.
--Cricket, 2/2/99, 10:11 PM
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| 19 responses total. |
orinoco
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response 1 of 19:
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Feb 3 03:27 UTC 1999 |
Heck yeah!
I dunno, up until the last 2 stanzas I was thinking "hmm, I'm not so sure
about this". But from "glancing back upward" on, I absolutely love it. The
"off beat" line breaks in the last few lines especially - "as if nervous"
indeed.
So I could poke at the first few stanzas, but really, now that I know what
they're leading up to, I like them a lot better.
Good work.
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bookworm
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response 2 of 19:
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Feb 3 07:24 UTC 1999 |
This is definitely interesting. I loved the metaphor you used to make
this one work. I could almost see the face being described. I never
wrote a piece on my face. Wonder why not?
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bdwyer
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response 3 of 19:
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Feb 5 20:34 UTC 1999 |
I have to agree with response #1... I was a bit upset that more time wasn't
spent on the eyes, as the eyes (in my opnion) tell the most about somebody..
but after reading the last stanza.... I am left totaly satisfied after
reading this.. well done.
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lumen
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response 4 of 19:
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Feb 5 23:37 UTC 1999 |
resp:2 c'mon, cloud, you haven't answered my question :(
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cloud
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response 5 of 19:
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Feb 6 00:54 UTC 1999 |
Which question? Why you didn't think of if before? I thought the question
was rhetorical! Besides, was it you're question or Julies?! What's going
on?
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lumen
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response 6 of 19:
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Feb 8 22:19 UTC 1999 |
I was wondering if you were writing about your own face.
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cloud
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response 7 of 19:
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Feb 9 01:41 UTC 1999 |
Yup. That's me, in all my imperfect glory.
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lumen
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response 8 of 19:
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Feb 11 06:29 UTC 1999 |
Cool! Very cool. I like it-- a poetic character study.
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cloud
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response 9 of 19:
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Feb 11 21:21 UTC 1999 |
Yeah, I got the idea after doing a self portrait... I'm thinking of scanning
a photo of myself and combining the two into a sort of mixed-media thing.
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lumen
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response 10 of 19:
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Feb 12 19:42 UTC 1999 |
That would be very hip.
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toking
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response 11 of 19:
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Feb 17 18:21 UTC 1999 |
(linked to the new poetry conf)
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cloud
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response 12 of 19:
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Mar 30 02:29 UTC 1999 |
Wow, I just got a message on my phone telling me that his poem had recieved
an Honorable Mention in a poetry contest... National Society of Arts and
Letters? Something like that... out of fifty-eight poems entered. It's the
first poetry competition I've ever won in--they want me to read it at this
reception thing. I'm pretty geeked about it, even if it wasn't first place.
By the way, that mixed media thing I mentioned became item 65, "Forever Jung".
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cloud
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response 13 of 19:
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Apr 1 03:00 UTC 1999 |
Furthermore, it should be duly noted (as I just learned today) that Dan won
first place... Tell me, mister modesty over there, what poem was it for?
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orinoco
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response 14 of 19:
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Apr 1 03:07 UTC 1999 |
<curses, he blew my cover>
It wz for "Suburban Sestina" - I'm not sure if I've posted it in here or not.
I actually didn't like the poem very much, so I was kind of annoyed that it
won, but I really can't complain... :)
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arianna
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response 15 of 19:
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Apr 1 21:41 UTC 1999 |
"kind of anno0yed that it won?"
dan, you're just *itching* to get cuffed over the head, aren't you?...d=
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orinoco
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response 16 of 19:
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Apr 2 18:18 UTC 1999 |
No, I mean I'm annoyed that _it_, rather than the _other_ poem I submitted,
won. If I was going to win, I might as well've won with a poem I liked. But
I'm glad that I won with something at least, so it's all good. Don't hurt
me. :)
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lumen
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response 17 of 19:
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Apr 7 05:00 UTC 1999 |
Opinion of others does *not* determine the quality of a work.
Seriously, in the arts in general, many great works have been passed
over because there wasn't something there for the public to love.
That's the dilemma of the working artist-- should one work for the
public to make money, or work for one's self?
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cloud
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response 18 of 19:
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Apr 11 23:31 UTC 1999 |
how about a little of both?
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lumen
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response 19 of 19:
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Apr 13 23:08 UTC 1999 |
That's generally the key to survival..
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