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naveenr
love Mark Unseen   Apr 28 20:07 UTC 2000

How many stars are there in the heaven,
How much water is there in the Ocean,
O' Darling I do not know how much I Love you,

Did you feel my heart, or Can you feel your heart,
How can you be so indifferent and ignorant,
I am the dew without the sun light,
O' Darling I do not know how much I Love you,

---I am new to poetry any suggestions and comments are welcom
-- Please send them to  naveenr@cyberspace.org
4 responses total.
lumen
response 1 of 4: Mark Unseen   May 1 23:13 UTC 2000

Welcome, Naveen.  If you don't mind, can we keep our comments here?  
(That's generally the idea of the cf.)

Would a period be more appropriate after "..I Love you"?  The comma you 
place there, especially after you repeat the phrase, makes it seem like 
you left this piece unfinished.  I am assuming the former is your 
intention-- that the phrase completes the thought.
ponder
response 2 of 4: Mark Unseen   May 4 01:35 UTC 2000

>shrug< I like it.  I'm a romantic.  

It could be better, but so could everything.

;)
naveenr
response 3 of 4: Mark Unseen   May 5 20:43 UTC 2000

Thank you for your response, I will keep it in mind. 
Lumen, Can you be more specific..?
ponder
response 4 of 4: Mark Unseen   May 11 04:35 UTC 2000

Lumen says, "Check your poem.  The last line reads as follows:

'O' Darling I do not know how much I Love you,'

The comma at the end of this line makes the poem seem unfinished. 
Gramatically speaking, a period would be more precise."

Speaking for myself, Jon has a point.  Poetry is basically English.  
Every poet has his or her own style, so no one way is really 
correct.  Still, the purpose of poetry is to convey an emotion or a 
thought.  So, by the use of punctuation as well as grammar and 
imagination, poetry comes into being.  

I'm lecturing.  Sorry.

Anyway, you might want to make a copy of your poem to a separate 
program, such as "WordPad," and go over it.  Punctuate it the same way 
you would an English paper. Consider what kind of thought you are trying 
to convey to your audience.  (try not to make it too obvious or to 
overdo it too much.  If it happens, don't worry about it).

If you want to find out more about poetry and how best to write it, my 
advice to you is to read the work of some poets, any poets, from 
Shakespeare to Anonymous to Jack Shmoe the poet, just to get a good idea 
of what some past poets have done.  Another interesting idea would be to 
delve into past poetry from Grex, unfortunately both ideas could take 
you a while but...

Well, I'm done.  Sorry about the lecture.

<babble=off>


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