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| Author |
Message |
lumen
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* * * *
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Jan 12 03:04 UTC 2000 |
i thought it would never come
dusting the land
in a white blanket
it is beautiful
but i overlook it
thinking i would fain be glad
that it would cover
my guilt and shame
wishing that i could forget
other melancholy memories
of thought, pondered while
wandering through those blinding fields
i wish i wasn't here so often
with a heavy weight in my chest
with pen in hand, its nub broken blunt
when words wouldn't come
save i slid that dull blade to the wrist
to let it flow by blood to the page
i would that my scarlet sins
were as white as snow
so white as snow
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| 19 responses total. |
ponder
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response 1 of 19:
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Jan 12 03:18 UTC 2000 |
Very expressive, my husband.
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orinoco
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response 2 of 19:
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Jan 13 18:25 UTC 2000 |
That middle stanza ("I wish I wasn't here so often") is reeeeal nice. The
ending is a little cliched, but still, yes, very expressive.
(What does "I would fain be glad" mean?)
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lumen
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response 3 of 19:
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Jan 16 00:51 UTC 2000 |
'fain' is a rather archaic word, I suppose. I used it a bit
redundantly since it means 'I would very much like to, except.."
damnit, I'll have to look it up to be sure.
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brighn
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response 4 of 19:
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Jan 18 15:26 UTC 2000 |
I'm wondering if it isn't spelled "feign", which means "to pretend"
??
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orinoco
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response 5 of 19:
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Jan 19 01:49 UTC 2000 |
I've seen that spelling before, it's just that I was never sure what it meant.
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flem
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response 6 of 19:
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Jan 19 17:05 UTC 2000 |
From http://www.dictionary.com (reformatted somewhat):
fain (fayn) [orig. f, a-with-horiz-line-over-it, n]
adv.
1.Happily; gladly:
"I would fain improve every opportunity
to wonder and worship, as a sunflower
welcomes the light"
(Henry David Thoreau).
2.Archaic. Preferably; rather.
adj. Archaic
1.Ready; willing.
2.Pleased; happy.
3.Obliged or required.
[Middle English from Old English faegen, joyful, glad.]
Which is about what I expected.
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ponder
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response 7 of 19:
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Jan 21 01:16 UTC 2000 |
Sounds about right to me.
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brighn
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response 8 of 19:
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Jan 21 15:35 UTC 2000 |
All the same, best to stick to words still in common usage in the century
you're writing in. Avoids confusion and accusations of elitist affectation.
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flem
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response 9 of 19:
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Jan 21 16:28 UTC 2000 |
Mm. People keep saying stuff like that, and every time I hear it,
something in me rebels just a bit. Archaic language can be extremely
effective, and so long as you know how to use it.
I've never been comfortable with the idea of simplifying one's writing
so that it can be more easily understood. With the exception of
technical writing, where the idea is to get the point across, writing is
as much about the beauty of language, ambiguity, subtlety, etc. as it is
about content. If *nobody* understands your writing, you may want to
think about why, but if a few people don't understand the words you use
because they're not in common usage...
And as for accusations of elitist affectation... "You can't be a
REAL poet until you give up your elitist affectations." Does anyone
else see the irony here? :)
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orinoco
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response 10 of 19:
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Jan 21 16:37 UTC 2000 |
Okay, so maybe avoiding the phrase "elitist affectation" would be another good
way to avoid accusations of elitist affectation. :)
Archaic words are useful effects, but they're even more annoying than the
lowercase i thing when you use them just for the sake of using them, IMO.
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brighn
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response 11 of 19:
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Jan 22 17:08 UTC 2000 |
Archaisms should be used as a tool of effective wordsmithery; when an archaism
is chosen because it matches the meter, or the rhyme, or some similar reason,
it's laziness, not emotional impact, that motivates the choice.
And where did I make any statments about what "REAL poets" do? I made a
suggestion about avoiding archaisms. I'd thank the collected not to put words
into my mouth.
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flem
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response 12 of 19:
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Jan 24 18:13 UTC 2000 |
Sorry, I wasn't attempting to put words in your mouth; I was putting
words in the mouths of those who would accuse others of elitist
affectation. Which I didn't intend to include you. Sorry if I was
unclear.
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brighn
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response 13 of 19:
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Jan 24 19:05 UTC 2000 |
'sok. I was in a mood anyway.
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lumen
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response 14 of 19:
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Jan 28 05:57 UTC 2000 |
I chose "fain" because it felt right. That good enough for you?
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brighn
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response 15 of 19:
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Jan 28 15:56 UTC 2000 |
no, actually, but I'll stop pickin' on ya ;}
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ponder
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response 16 of 19:
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Feb 1 06:02 UTC 2000 |
Guys. guys. Lets not argue, Okay?
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orinoco
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response 17 of 19:
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Feb 1 18:48 UTC 2000 |
Look at who you're asking not to argue, and say that again with a straight
face. :)
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ponder
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response 18 of 19:
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Feb 7 03:28 UTC 2000 |
Yeah. yeah. I just don't like to listen to... or read an argument. We
can use one of the other conferences for that can't we?
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brighn
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response 19 of 19:
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Feb 7 06:07 UTC 2000 |
Ahem
#15> I'll stop pickin'
That's called "dropping it." Don't encourage me to say what's on my mind at
this moment. Rather, leave it dropped.
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