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| Author |
Message |
zoe
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dying
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Jan 31 05:43 UTC 1999 |
as painful as it is,
i'm remembering again..
soaring on the wind's warm breath,
spinning into colorful feilds,
becoming one with their waves of emotion--
never a cloudy day.
my moon-beam wings,
my childish smile...
now i see it as a dream.
my prism feilds have gone pale and gray,
my wings now translucent to the eye.
i've been beyond the star's sharp glare,
and danced upon every sea...
now alone and afraid--
crying for the past,
though it fades with each memory...
bring me back to the crystal skies,
and the winds sure breeze--
for that was my true home...
now i sit as a girl,
in a world of hate and lies;
where i can't belong...
i'm loosing my past..
don't let me die in this bad dream.
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| 36 responses total. |
bookworm
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response 1 of 36:
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Feb 1 03:18 UTC 1999 |
Ooh. That's a scary one. You should read my nightmare one. Simply
titled "Nighmare" on this cf. (selfless plug) :)
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lumen
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response 2 of 36:
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Feb 1 03:57 UTC 1999 |
I would say haunting, myself. You have a wonderful command of imagery,
although I believe this skill can and will be further improved with
time. The Imagist movement (as my wife described it to me) would be
proud of you.
(myself, I fancy myself a surrealist/Imagist poet)
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toking
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response 3 of 36:
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Feb 1 12:09 UTC 1999 |
in the immortal words of Cartman "Sweet!"
this is good...
"soaring on the wind's warm breath,
spinning into colorful feilds,
becoming one with their waves of emotion--"
That right there is just a wonderful set of lines
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logansan
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response 4 of 36:
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Feb 1 17:12 UTC 1999 |
I love this one, not like, but love ... can I get a signed copy :)
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zoe
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response 5 of 36:
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Feb 1 20:30 UTC 1999 |
its based on my nightmare/dream... intangible bliss that i don't
posses in my own life... reading this one makes me cry...
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bookworm
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response 6 of 36:
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Feb 1 21:23 UTC 1999 |
Interesting feedback you've got here, Zoe. Thinking about publishing a
book of your work. If you did, I'd buy it. I always go for good
poetry. Gives me some ideas of how I can improve my own stuff.
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lumen
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response 7 of 36:
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Feb 1 22:53 UTC 1999 |
resp: 5-- Real life always seems to give strength and structure to art;
if you subscribe to the idea that art is expression of reality, however
creatively reconstructed.
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zoe
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response 8 of 36:
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Feb 2 20:02 UTC 1999 |
no one really reads poetry anymore... not since the romantic age.. i
have already been published, it didn't feel right... its like giving a
peice of myself to strangers to discet.. i don't enjoy exposing my soul
to just random people... i'm shy.. i wouldn't be here if it weren't for
joe's encouragement...
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toking
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response 9 of 36:
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Feb 2 20:16 UTC 1999 |
I still think it was pretty sneaky not telling me your login til after I
got all geeked about your first post :)
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zoe
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response 10 of 36:
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Feb 2 22:44 UTC 1999 |
if i had told you, i thought i wouldn't get your honest opinion on my
stuff... besides, i enjoy torturing you... just take a note of the
grilled cheese.
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bookworm
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response 11 of 36:
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Feb 3 07:17 UTC 1999 |
Good job. You go girl. Somebody's gotta keep the guys here in line.
If they don't get punctured once in a while they get swelled heads. ;)
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lumen
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response 12 of 36:
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Feb 3 23:30 UTC 1999 |
re: resp:8 I really do empathize. Most of my poetry is very personal to
me and I was reluctant to post here. I valued feedback a little more,
however, so here I am.
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bookworm
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response 13 of 36:
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Feb 4 01:49 UTC 1999 |
I just like to share.
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zoe
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response 14 of 36:
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Feb 4 21:50 UTC 1999 |
i have trouble expressing TRUE self to people... all i have is my art
and poetry.. and even then, no one really comprehends what i attempt to
project with it.. eventually i will give up all togeather... it hurts
to write something and have someone give you a blank "what" stare... it
makes me feel like i'm ignorant or something.. then again, the people
around here tell me to speak english when i use "big words" like
irrelevent...
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bookworm
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response 15 of 36:
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Feb 5 04:42 UTC 1999 |
Been there. Nowadays, it seems like everytime I learn a new word such
as "antidisestablishmentarianism" no one is interested in hearing me use
it because they don't understand it.
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jazz
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response 16 of 36:
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Feb 5 13:59 UTC 1999 |
See, I have trouble NOT expressing myself to people.
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brighn
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response 17 of 36:
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Feb 5 16:51 UTC 1999 |
Ain't that the truth? ;} You and me both.
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lumen
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response 18 of 36:
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Feb 5 23:26 UTC 1999 |
re: resp:14 Again, I really do empathize. I really enjoy art
because..well, I can project myself into it, and I see an understanding
reflection of myself. This is true whether it be music, painting,
sculpture, drawing, poetry, storytelling, acting, role-playing, etc.,
etc., etc.
Ironically, even artistes get big heads and don't understand my myriad
of interests. For years, I struck most folks as weird, eccentric, or a
"know-it-all." Rarely was I trying to impress people; I rather enjoy a
deep discussion. But deep discussions unnerve the majority of people.
Don't worry, Zoe. Most of the folks around here are bona vide
intellectuals and truly appreciate what you are trying to do.
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cloud
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response 19 of 36:
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Feb 6 00:49 UTC 1999 |
Here Here!
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allida
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response 20 of 36:
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Feb 6 02:22 UTC 1999 |
sounds like similar issues to what i am having inproblems expressing and
rmembering and being myself. i have been revisitihng my childhood to find
these things in which i used to express my eccentricity.
good magical work
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brighn
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response 21 of 36:
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Feb 6 23:25 UTC 1999 |
that's bona fide, not bona vide =}
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bookworm
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response 22 of 36:
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Feb 8 00:24 UTC 1999 |
What's wrong. Ain'tcha never heard of typos?
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brighn
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response 23 of 36:
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Feb 8 04:53 UTC 1999 |
never never never =}
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lumen
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response 24 of 36:
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Feb 8 22:16 UTC 1999 |
yes, it was a typo-- bona *fide* :P
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