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| Author |
Message |
behlal
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The falcon eyes.
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Dec 15 21:43 UTC 1999 |
Through the eyes fo a falcon.
The world is sharp and green.
Through the eyes of a falcon.
The world is all seen.
Through the eyes of a falcon.
That is my dream.
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| 3 responses total. |
behlal
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response 1 of 3:
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Dec 15 21:50 UTC 1999 |
Well, I forgot to tell you all that that is, well the first poem I have
written, so well it probably suck bigtime compared to your masterpieces. But
please give me feedback anyway so I can grow. :) Thank you.
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freedom
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response 2 of 3:
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Dec 19 20:47 UTC 1999 |
actually, I kinda like it :) Would like it a bit longer personally, but sme
people like short poetry.."the world is all seen" line for some reason bugs
me, too short? forced to rhyme..can't quite put my finger on it...
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orinoco
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response 3 of 3:
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Dec 20 04:40 UTC 1999 |
Well, it isn't specific. It could mean "the world is everything that is
seen," or it could mean "the world is entirely seen." Maybe that's what's
bugging you?
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