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| Author |
Message |
zoe
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rebirth
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Jun 24 00:36 UTC 1999 |
my barren bones lie beneathe me..
i stand--
gazing at the surrounding light,
i am safe...
from the world's hate and preuduce,
from the existing sorrow that once had filled my body.
now i fly upon the vast brilliance that envelopes my being,
baptizing my insides from the cruelty i had once known
as home.
my insides shine,
matching the frequencies sent about me...
calling me to where i belong.
i reach so far...
though the silver thread pulls me back to my physical container.
and i am left to rot in this godforsaken world.
hope is that which i can only cry for.
to remain detatched is all but a dream.
for this is now,
where i will continue to linger until i find those to help lift me up.
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| 4 responses total. |
bookworm
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response 1 of 4:
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Jun 24 18:50 UTC 1999 |
Zoe, this is very touching.
I find the phrase, "I fly upon the vast brilliance that envelopes my
being..." particularly interesting.
As for the implied message, I still think it's possible to be happy while
yet in this life. All you need to do is find it.
I like your poetry. Keep it up.
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herded
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response 2 of 4:
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Jun 24 19:13 UTC 1999 |
This is beautifully heartbroken.
Ignore me if I'm incorrect, but I think that I've felt this way many
times, just looking and looking for someone that will mean something to
me. Someone that I will want to stay forever.
This is beautiful.
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orinoco
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response 3 of 4:
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Jun 24 19:47 UTC 1999 |
I like this, especially "baptizing my insides ... my insides shine, matching
the frequencies" etc. "I am left to rot in this godforsaken world" strikes
me as more than a little cliche, though.
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lumen
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response 4 of 4:
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Jun 24 21:45 UTC 1999 |
Agreed. Your imagery is your greatest strength, so keep endeavoring to
make it original and fresh.
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