Because I need to get it off my chest.

Aug 5 06:57 UTC 1994

this something I have to get off my chest -- because I just heard this morning
and because I've been lying sleepless in my bed, ne3ar vomiting from pain
and fear for hours now.  I have to tell someone and you folks are my friends.


I got a call this morning teling me that TJ, my eldest son, age 14 tomorrow,
has been lying in a Swedish hospital for a week now.  He fell from a
great height while playing at a scout camp.  He was lucky.  He only
shattered one wrist.  From that height, had he fallen differently, he
could be dead, comatose, or wheelchair ridden for the rest of his life.

Instead, he has completely lost the use of that hand, which is now
riddles with metal clips, pins and plates.  They can't predict yet
how much use he may ever regain.

It was so badly broken up that it was "broken off and lying atop the
same arm" according to his younger brother.  The medicxal staff had
to open the arm and put the bones back together like a jigsaw puzzle.
Then, they couldn't close him up for several days because the swelling
was so great that they were worried that as the swelling went down the wound
would open again.. Tey even got to the point of recommending a skin graft
so they could close him upp enough to retard infection.  Fortunately,
the swelling went down enough in the day before the graft was scheduled
that they were able to avoid it.

He was, as I understand it, kept "under" and fed intravenously during much
of that time.  He's, of course, still in immense pain.

He told me thast when they first got him patched up, the medical staff
asked him if there was anyone he wanted to call.  He wanted to talk to
me, but since it "wasn't possible", he just cried.  This from a 
particularly proud and brave teenaged boy.  He cried for me.

As of this morning he was somewhat able to move his fingers around a glass,
but not really grasp it or lift it.  They do hope, however, to remove
some of the outer pins and release him in time for his birthday.

All these medical decisions were made and carried out before I ever
knew my son was hurt.  Would they have told me sooner, I wonder,
if he had ben killed.

Thanks for listening to my story.

Misti
a very upset and worried mother

response 2 of 37:

Aug 5 22:17 UTC 1994

Misti, this is quite a shock.  The last time I saw TJ he was doing
fine.  Hopefully he is doing well.  Have you spoken to him?  I'll
bet that it's possible to reach him by phone.  It might take a while
to get the connections, but it will be worth it for both of you.

It seems odd to me that they (hospital administrators) didn't get
in touch with you sooner.  Perhaps they thought the Scouts would
contact you and the Scouts thought the hospital would.

response 4 of 37:

Aug 5 23:23 UTC 1994

Misti...we haven't met nor do I know TJ but your story touched
me in a very deep place.  How  horrific for you.  I will also keep
you in my thoughts and sending out healing energy.  Blessings, dear.

response 6 of 37:

Aug 6 02:40 UTC 1994

Thanks to all of you, and also to everyone who sent their blessings privately.
Yes, As soon as I heard about the accident, (from TJ's father), I called
the hospital as soon as I could without waking him.  He's in great pain
and pretty scared, but seemed relieved to hear from me and babbled
to his old Mum for as long as we could keep the line.  I'm sure that
he'll be OK in the long run.  TJ's a survivor and won't let something
like this keep him down for long.

I may not hear much more until hi father brings him home in 3 weeks...
I can't affoer to call as often as I wish I could.  (please excusew my old
cranky keyboard.)

Anyway, I was asked to post his address in Europe -- I'm sure any cards
and good wishes will do wonders for his spirits if anyone else is
inclined to send them.


                        Herr Tomas-Jason Rydholm
                        Hedehus
                        Offerstigen 5
                        Axeltorp, 26900
                        Bastad, Sverige

                                        (Sweden)

(Just TJ will also work, but to those of you who know him as Tomas --
he shares that name with his grandfather, and it could cause some 
confusion to omit the hyphenated part.)

I've spent the better part of the day arranging to have his hospital records
translated, arranging for him to recieve physical therapy and to see a
hand/bone specialist, etc. and I feel much better.  (More in control)  There's
something about 3 am when your child is hurt and far away that is really dark
and quiet, and frightening.

Again, Thanks for your support everyone.  It means a great deal to me.

response 8 of 37:

Aug 6 11:25 UTC 1994

Wow! That's quite a story. I'll be pulling for both you and him.

response 10 of 37:

Aug 7 04:40 UTC 1994

Keep the faith.  I had a cousin who was severely injured in an auto accident
in 1967.  He had part of his brain case torn away, and 90% of the bones in 
his body were broken.  They put him on an ice bed and gave him up as lost.
Three days later, they decided they had better set his bones.

He is alive and well today.  His only permenent problem was that his left
hand was nearly bent back double on itself because of the tendons.

Physical therapy can do wonders today, even with badly mangled joints.

response 12 of 37:

Aug 10 14:08 UTC 1994

I just got caught up on all this.  What a helpless situation
to be in, not knowing what all was going on, being so very
far away.  He'll mend - they don't make 'em any better than
a teenager's body.  But you won't really believe that until
he's in your arms again.

I hope that's soon.

response 14 of 37:

Aug 20 04:11 UTC 1994

Don't know what else to say except you have my sympathy too.  It is a week
later or two now.  How's he doing?

response 16 of 37:

Aug 21 09:59 UTC 1994

And as time passes, the negatives will become positive adventures, I hope.

response 18 of 37:

Aug 22 05:27 UTC 1994

Yeah, well, on top of this comes a 4-5 month miscarriage and some personal
troubles I won't go into.  Lets just say this is one of the worst summers
on record.  If you pray, I could stand to be remembered in whatever sort
of prayer you perform.

I hurt right now, but I'm a survivor and will be fine in the long run.
But thanks for asking.

response 20 of 37:

Aug 23 07:47 UTC 1994

Thanks, Arwen.  And on top of it, to be alone again after 8 years is
perhaps an apt icing.  (see announcements)

Bleah.  I want a new life.  This one is no fun any more.

response 22 of 37:

Aug 23 13:45 UTC 1994

This too will pass, even if you can't see that now Misti.

response 24 of 37:

Aug 25 06:41 UTC 1994

Mary, I responded in mail.
Arwen, I've been trying to do something brand new every day.  Therev are
no movies I especially want to see, and being a very social person, most
things just aren't all that worth-while to me unless they're shared.
(So I've been catching up on alot of reading.).

Don't worry, when I say I want a new life, I'm speaking meta-physically.
(well, mostly.)

Aruba -- yes, well, I keep telling myself that.  But my heart
doesn't believe a word of it.  And so far this summer, every time
things start to get a little better, I get hit bwith something new.