When is a child old enough to ....?

Oct 16 13:33 UTC 1992

When are children old enough to walk 4.5 blocks after dark by themselves?  Last
night Damon had a Cub Scout meeting at 7:15.  STeve and I couldn't make it and
had him walk.  The meeting is held at his school and the route he took is the
same route he walks too and from school every day, and is well lit.  One of 
the other mother's there wasn't comfortable with his walking in the dark and
went way out of her way to walk him home.

We are upset over this as we feel that Damon is old enough and mature enough
to make a 4.5 block walk at 8:15 pm over a route that he knows well.  The
SCA feels that 8 year olds are old enough to wander the event site without
having their hands held by parents (even at Pennsic with many square miles
of land and 8000+ people on site).  I don't like my authority over my child
taken away from me because some adult is afraid to walk after dark.  We have
had a long haul convincing Damon that there is no reason to be afraid of the
dark and this person has just given him reason to believe that we are wrong.
After all, if Mrs. .... is afraid to let me walk alone, there must be something
for me to be afraid of.  We talked it over with each other and with Damon
before he left.  He was okay with walking home (and it was dark when he left
here and he got there okay so there shouldn't have been a problem getting
home).

I would not be upset if someone who lived in this area offered him a ride
home, or they walked together, provided that they didn't have to go out
of their way.  That is just a friendly gesture and he does walk with other
kids on the way home from school.  But this woman lived on the opposite side
of the school from us.

Are we out of line allowing a independant, self-sufficient 8 year old walk
4.5 blocks home from a meeting after dark?

response 4 of 43:

Sep 5 20:34 UTC 1993

It depends on *which* blocks.  But it also does a child no harm to 
be reminded that he's not the only person with unreasonable fears.

response 6 of 43:

Jul 5 23:18 UTC 1994

Only the danger of hurting themselves playing jungle gym, as far as I know--
but you might consider "transitional" beds when you do make the change.
It makes the transition easier if their first experience of a night
on a grown-up bed doesn't include a fall from the bed!

response 10 of 43:

Jul 12 20:05 UTC 1994

(becca here - I keep forgetting to switch to my real name - sorry)
I like the matress on the floor bit - Tori has learned
to not only climb out of her crib, but into her brother's, where
she gets stuck for some reason.

Thanks for the advice - now, any advice on keeping the kids in a "real" bed
when they don't want to stay?  cribs do have that advantage... sigh.

response 12 of 43:

Jul 14 04:10 UTC 1994

Some time around age 2, I forget which side of it, Timothy suddenly started
being willing to sleep anywhere BUT his crib.  He wasn't all that verbal yet,
so it took a while to figure out what was up.  Turns out, the big kids at
daycare use cots, he was in process of moving to a cot, and resented the crib.
He never did climb out.  Well, once we figured that out, we all went bed
shopping together (so he must have been over 2).  He climbed over LOTS of beds,
bunk, day and other, and finally at Acree's used furniture we found a marvelous
old sleigh bed which was a touch shorter and wider than standard twin and had
partial sides as scg described, so he didn't fall out TOO often.  Some, though.
Now he's in a top bunk and the bottom was removed to give more space in his
room.  When Gareth is done with the crib, I'd like to give him Timothy's bed,
but I don't know if it'll fit.  Oh well, cross that when we come to it. As to
staying in be, we did have to be pretty firm for a time, but in general he's
more inclined to ask us to come to him, which isn't always what we want either.

response 14 of 43:

Jul 14 14:58 UTC 1994

I sort of do the same thing now.  When my bed is convenient I will sleep
there, but I certainly don't go out of my way to get to my bed.  I often
take naps on the floors of classrooms at school, and even occasionally on
the downstairs couches or the kitchen floor at home if I'm feeling too
tired to go upstairs.

response 16 of 43:

Jul 14 20:34 UTC 1994

Hmm... this is kind of weird.
I usually sleep in my water bed, which I find EXTREMELY pleasing.
Sometimes I will sleep on the front room floor and enjoy it.
I can NOT sleep well in other people's homes usually, but
I sleep as well as, or better than, I do at home when I'm
in a good hotel.

response 20 of 43:

Jul 15 12:32 UTC 1994

re #18  Guess that makes for an (un)interesting sex life... :)

response 22 of 43:

Jul 16 01:14 UTC 1994

Not quite, but yes, this is a problem of epidemic proportions in our culture.

response 24 of 43:

Jul 17 16:13 UTC 1994

re; #23 --That sounds wonderful!  I wish I could try it.