ONE	Jul 22 19:31 UTC 2003

ONE, or, An Ode to Sun (with apologies to U2)

Is it getting better, or do you feel the pain?
Will it make it easier on you, now you've Microsoft to blame?
We say, "ONE love, ONE life, when it's ONE you need, in the night,
"ONE love, you get to buy it,
"(Not the source McNealy, don't let them hack at it).

"Did it disappoint you, or leave a bad taste in your mouth,
"You act like you have got rights, but the contract rules them out."
"So it's to late, to fight?" "Yes, so you can just go fly a kite,
"It's ONE, no it's not the same;
We get to screw you right over, screw you right over (again)...

"ONE, ONE

"Now please come her for some UNIX don't you know IBM's dead?"
"We've just come her to play Jesus, to the greppers who've not fled!
"SPARCS cost too much, more than a lot; Intel CPUs, well they're all we've
got."
"It's ONE, no it's not the same, not the right hardware? Well, just buy some
again!"
"You say,
"'Solaris is the answer, Solaris the OS,' (x2)
"You ask me to buy it, but God it makes me crawl,
"And I can't be buying ONE, don't you see Scott, 'cos I don't get no source!"
"ONE love, ONE's good, come buy it yeah you know that you should!
ONE life, buy another, screw righteous, GNU mothers!
"ONE life, no it's not the same,
"We get to screw you right over, screw you right over...

"ONE, ONE..."

response 2 of 14:

Jul 22 20:56 UTC 2003

        One band . .

        One sound . .

        Drivin' it . .

        Into the ground

response 4 of 14:

Jul 23 06:20 UTC 2003

Know how micro$oft programmers change a lightbulb?  They don't.  They
sit in the dark and insist that light will be a feature of a future
release.

response 6 of 14:

Jul 23 14:03 UTC 2003

Hmmm...that joke needs fine tuning.

Know how MicroSoft users change a lightbulb?  They don't.  MicroSoft
lightbulbs are integrated into the lightbulb socket using proprietary
"MicroSoft Light" technology and are not user changable.  So MicroSoft
users sit in the dark and hope that light will be a feature of a future
release.

Now it's too long, but hits the mark a bit better.

response 8 of 14:

Jul 23 15:28 UTC 2003

Re #4: I always heard, 'They change the standard to darkness.' ;>


Q: How can you recognize a field service engineer with a flat tire?
A: He's changing one tire at a time to see which is flat.

Q: How can you recognize a field service engineer who has run out of gas?
A: He's changing one tire at a time to see which is flat.

response 10 of 14:

Jul 23 23:02 UTC 2003

If anyone ever tells me they want to know what geeks are like in real 
life, I'm going to bring them to see this item.  A discussion of how to 
tell a light-bulb joke -- and failing to make it funny -- is geekdom 
personified.

response 12 of 14:

Jul 24 00:32 UTC 2003

Geek Humor 101: Jokes about Microshaft are ALWAYS funny.