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| Author |
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hong
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What do you say...
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Mar 21 19:06 UTC 1995 |
You know what I wonder? What do you say when you tell someone
about your problems, and the best thing they can say is, "Life is tough."
What would you say? I can't exactly disagree with them.
Bryan
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| 52 responses total. |
zuber
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response 1 of 52:
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Mar 22 04:03 UTC 1995 |
I might ask them if there si any advice or input they can give me. Yes life
is tough. I might ask if they have any ideas on how to handle these problems.
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dang
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response 2 of 52:
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Mar 22 18:58 UTC 1995 |
One of my friends said men listen to problems to fix them, women listen to
get them said. I don't know if this is true, but it brings up an
interesting point: Sometimes, just getting sympathy from someone helps.
I may be that they *don't* have any advice. It has happened to me before.
You can ask for advice, or just accept the sympathy. Either way, it'll
probably help.
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anne
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response 3 of 52:
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Mar 22 21:31 UTC 1995 |
And then again sympathy isn't always what is desired- sometimes people just
need to vent, and it can be useful just to have a person to vent to. I know
that sometimes when I get angry I don't really want answers, I just want to
complain for awhile. I'll eventually feel a bit better, and then I can
work towards solving the problem... (although throwing a roomate out the
window just isn't an option- no matter how much I wish it were!!!!)
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eeyore
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response 4 of 52:
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Mar 23 13:48 UTC 1995 |
poor anne!!! well, i'd prefer you don't do that to me next year..:)
and i'm not realy sure if that's true...it almost seems the opposite.
women seem better at solving the problems then the men do.
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anne
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response 5 of 52:
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Mar 23 14:59 UTC 1995 |
Meg- don't worry, you aren't the rrommate I have in mind....
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bhelliom
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response 6 of 52:
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Mar 23 17:38 UTC 1995 |
<chuckle> I suppose than anne, that it's not xactly imperative that I remember
this persons's name, is it? <er then> And when it comes to solving problems,
there's not al ot you can do if the person just complains about their situation
an finds all of the excuses in the world why not to pick to easiest solutions,
or find excuses in order not to have to solve them in the first place, and just
keeps saying "woe is me", and refuses to get their priorities straight. If you
don't tell them up front to get some perspective, all you ging to succeed in
doing is make life miserable for yourself, and you'll not like having that
person around. Personally I can't stand having someone come up to me with a
problem, and gives excuses, petty or otherwise about why they can't do that,
when if they had their priorities in order, these solutions are easily
implemented.
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dang
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response 7 of 52:
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Mar 23 20:49 UTC 1995 |
However, sometimes, emotions get in the way of solutions, and need to be
vented. I've done it before.
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eeyore
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response 8 of 52:
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Mar 24 03:58 UTC 1995 |
but alot of times, emotions need to be part of the solution...we are human.
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dang
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response 9 of 52:
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Mar 24 18:02 UTC 1995 |
True.
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hong
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response 10 of 52:
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Mar 25 02:23 UTC 1995 |
<Bryan is laughing> Wow, this place is cool. Hmmm, I dunno that
women solve problems better than men, or vice versa. I think that
generalizations could be made about mena being better able to solve
something better than women, or vice versa, but that's about it. Gosh,
humans are so darn confusing. You never know what someone else thinks,
and it drives you crazy. Don't you wish we were empathic?
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eeyore
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response 11 of 52:
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Mar 25 21:14 UTC 1995 |
what makes you think that we aren't in some ways?
now, mind reading would be areally great thing to have...:)
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anne
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response 12 of 52:
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Mar 26 01:11 UTC 1995 |
Bryan- some people areound here ARE empathic... to some degree at leasst,
kinda scary isn't it?
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flem
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response 13 of 52:
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Mar 27 06:38 UTC 1995 |
I think that we are empathic, to some degree, with people we cared about.
Now if only we could be telepathic, this would be a perfect world. Anyways
I have a lot to say on subject of the giving and taking of advice, because
it's something I do a lot. Well, that's not true. I rarely give advice.
But I often listen to people complain about their problems. I like doing it,
and it's something I'm good at. I have found, though, that in cases when
people aren't just trying to blow off steam, or get some moral support and
a couple of free hugs (: that they generally know what they should do, and
if you the adviser ask them questions in the right way about what is really
important to them, then they will usually figure out what to do for themselves.
If you actually have to tell them what to do, then either they aren't being
honest with themselves, which is usually a bigger and more immediate problem
than the one that they were complaining about; or you haven't done it right.
Now, this system of advice giving is not guaranteed, it's only a vague
explanation of what goes through my mind when I give advice, and other people
may have other ways of giving advice that are at least as valid as mine. And
mine may not work for all people. But it works for me.
One very important thing to consider when asking for advice or giving
advice is how much you love the other person involved. I find it very hard
to give good advice if I don't love the other person, and I wouldn't even
consider going for advice on something important to someone I didn't love.
That's all for now.
love,
flem
advice......................free
hugs........................free
bad puns....................free
spellchecking...............free
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eeyore
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response 14 of 52:
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Mar 27 13:18 UTC 1995 |
and he gives all of the above, whether or not you want any of them...:)
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anne
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response 15 of 52:
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Mar 27 17:12 UTC 1995 |
I would like to know why if we were telepathic things would be so much
easier...
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dang
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response 16 of 52:
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Mar 28 19:05 UTC 1995 |
Well, it has the potential to be either very good, or very bad. You see,
we could know what was in their minds. That covers moth sides.
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anne
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response 17 of 52:
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Mar 28 19:27 UTC 1995 |
But if we were all telepathic people would know how to shield- so that they
might be able to know other's thought, but no one would know there's.
And would you REALLY want someone poking into your head without your
knowledge, and / or permission?
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dang
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response 18 of 52:
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Mar 29 03:03 UTC 1995 |
What says that we would be able to shield? Telepathy is possible
according to physics, shielding is not. You could disguise your thoughts,
but not shield them. I don't know if I would like it. It sure would make
lying impossible, and therefore improve comunication. Criminals could be
positively identified, and many benifits could be found. The only
disadvantage would be lack of privacy. Is this enough of a problem to
outweigh the advantages? I don't think so. Imagine beign able to know if
your SO really loved you?
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eeyore
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response 19 of 52:
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Mar 29 04:53 UTC 1995 |
imagine important info getting into the wrong hands...bye-bye state secrets!
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anne
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response 20 of 52:
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Mar 29 18:28 UTC 1995 |
Shielding is not very difficult, once you learn how to do it. Some people
are naturally very good at it, while others consciously put shields on.
I think lack of privacy is the strongest deterent, if I wanted people to
always know what I was thinking I would say exactly what I thought at all
times. Occassioanlly people think things that would be inappropriate to
say given the circumstances. And criminals might not always be properly
identified if they couldn't remember what they were doing because of a drug-
and it is very easy to change the memory of a person, or they might chose
to remember an event in a way so that when you look into their mind you
would see how they chose to remember it, and not necessarily the "truth"
The mind is a tricky thing, and I still say I wouldn't want just anyone poking
around. Who knows where they would stop, if they could read, what would
stop them from altering? They aren't that different.
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brighn
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response 21 of 52:
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Mar 30 06:41 UTC 1995 |
Why is shielding impossible according to physics, Dang? You lost me.
It assumes an active facet to telepathy, that's all. Telepathy is based
on the concept of reading soneone else's electromagentic field... if
you're the generator, can't you direct your electromagnetic field to prevent
others from intercepting it?
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dang
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response 22 of 52:
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Mar 30 20:04 UTC 1995 |
As far as I know, and I admit I don't know it all, there is no such thing
as an electromagnetic shield. We could put a grounded metal shield around
our heads, but nothing we could do with our minds would block the signal.
As the generator, we could alter the signal, but not block it. Now there
are tow theories of telepathy, as far as physics is concerned. The first
is that there is a small transmitter puried in the brain somewhere, and we
can use it to send/reiceve thoughts. In that case, assuming concious
control, you could shut it off, and noone could read you mind. The second
one is that, and this part is true, the mind creates an electromagnetic
field around it, and, this is the debated part, other minds can pick up
and translate theis field. Thus, it could not be shielded mentlaly, and
could not be controled. Blast this stupid talk messate, I can't see what
I'm typing. <sigh> Oh well. Anyway, those are the theories of telepathy
as far as physics is concerned. There may be others, but I don't know
about them. Anne, I was operating under the second one, which I think is
more likely, and according to it, you could not shield. At least, not
without a metal hat. :)
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face
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response 23 of 52:
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Mar 30 21:03 UTC 1995 |
This is much too deep for me.
..
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brighn
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response 24 of 52:
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Mar 31 06:46 UTC 1995 |
I was assuming the second as well... I guess I was assuming that you could
muffle the signal by generating the anti-signal. I don't know if that would
work though. (You know, sin(x) + sin(x+180) = 0, for all x.)
I'm speaking oversimplistically, of course.
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