response 1 of 56:

Feb 9 04:34 UTC 1995

Unfortunate as this can be, it happens.
We all change, and we often grow apart from our friends.
I find it tragic, because I don't think it's necessary.
I think it happens because people let it happen.
I mean honestly... if a friendship meant enough to you to keep
it from going the way of the wind wouldn't you do so?
Sometimes I think as much as we might wish we could keep
a friendship... sometimes it just won't be that way.
I'm not sure if it's ALWAYS a questionof 'letting' it
happen...
sometimes I think it's more of a question of not knowing how
to stop it from happening.
I might have more to say about this later, but for now
it's bugging me too much.

response 3 of 56:

Feb 9 15:21 UTC 1995

i look bak on my high school friends, and realize that  i haven't changed a
bit, and that kinda makes me sad.  on the other hand,i have found a "new"
friend: i've known him for the past ten years....

response 5 of 56:

Feb 9 17:16 UTC 1995

I had a friend in high school who was like a brother to me.  we were very close
We ran cross country together.  we talked together and we offered each other
the support that our families did not.  There are many people who do not come
from happy families,  there were those in school who had overcome so much just
to stay in school.  Together we provided each other with the support and a
sense of belonging that many people get from their families.  I went away to
college. My best frinds father was an alcoholic and was seperated from his
mother.   One day his father got drunk and decided that he would end his life. 
He did not chose to do it in silence and alone.  He did it in the presense of
his son m, who was my best friend.  My family never told me about this when I
was in school and by the time I found out much time had passed.  I tried ter
this happened.  What I found was that he was changed by that horrible incedent.
 My friend from high school never let anyone very close after that.  I can
never imagine what he went through on that night.  All I could do was upport
and hope that knowing his friends cared would be of some comfort.  Two people
died that night.  My friends father and with him part of my best friend died. 
I try to keep in touch with him but we have lost touch over the years.


move into the present.  I know this may be depressing to read, but it helps to
put things in perspective sometimes.  I guess my point is life is what you make
it.  Think about decisions you make.  Even if we try we cannot  for the ones we
love.  That is hard for us.  But we can make the commitment to let them know we
always care.

response 7 of 56:

Feb 23 04:37 UTC 1995

Zuber,
i am very sorry for your friend and you.  i know how that goes but not in that
tyoe of sense.  i meet a friend about two years ago and we wrote for about
a yearr but then we lost touch.  it hurt but i got over it.  I am
thankful for th etime we had together.  But the up side is that also
on this trip i meet another person.  We were not very close and i didn't
thinkwe would stay incontact but to my surprise we have to this day and
it will be two years in june since we last saw each other.  i would like to
saee her sometime in the next year bu that is not likely.  We have enen stayed
in contact while i am at college.  it has turned out to be one of the best
friendships i have.  when ever i getmarried i want her at teh service if at all
possible. well, i have gone on enough so  i will stop.

response 9 of 56:

Mar 27 06:24 UTC 1995

E-mail?  A bad substitute for presence, but better than nothing...

response 11 of 56:

Jun 10 19:22 UTC 1995

well, I haven't had my e-mail privledges for a while (6 months) but because
you all are SO important to em, I have had to snail mail people.  And they
are pretty good about snail mailng back.  I suppose it is how important is 
this person to you, and you to them.  (do I know who this is?  Is this who
I think it is?)  If you can find the time...no...MAKE the time to keep in
touch, and force yourself to keep the committment up, and to make yourself
write, and think about this person, and not get absorbed in your new life,
as in make time, but not obsess, then I do not think there would be a problem.

As for not seeing them, have faith, daniel, Dear.  I did.  And you all came to
visit me, when I didn't have a 'puter.  It meant so much to me.  you also
helped me move, and you have been a great guy.  if the people you care about
care for you as much as you care for the, then I do not thing you have to
worry.

Just have a little faith in your friends, and they will come through for you.

response 13 of 56:

Oct 26 20:12 UTC 1995

(several months later)
I have had many friendships peter out--some of them it was my fault, others
it was the other perion's--but we make choices and have to live with the
outcome. We may not realize the significance at the time. 
I had a friend who I had known since junior high school. She was always dating
someone and totally imersed herself into the relationship. She lost many
friends but she and I seemed to remain. I recognized the pattern and didn't
hold it against her when she won't contact me after several months. Sooner
or later she would, and then we would be friends again for awhile. But as of
last August I think our friendship is at an end. We exchanged Christmas cards
but she only signed her name to hers. Sometimes I wonder what she is up to
but she never really gave me the emotional support I often needed and now get
from my newer friends. It's sad, but looking back it was doomed from the start
because of the person she is.

response 15 of 56:

Nov 6 14:10 UTC 1995

Awhile back I started a whole new life thanks to an ex-boyfriend. I made all
new friends, joined a church, found a new apt, and got a new job. At the time,
I thought I was happy, but I didn't really have any true friends and I was
miserable in a house from he**. I don't miss anyone or anything from that past
life. It almost sounds like a born again experience but I am presbyterian and
will remain so. Actually the job came later, but I think it was my new outlook
on life that motivated me to come across the way I did in the interview.

response 17 of 56:

Nov 8 14:12 UTC 1995

I have one friend who is very different from the rest of my friends. When I
had a backache, most of my friends would say empathic things like "hope you
feel better," whereas my unique friend says "you should have that check out,
it could be a pinched nerve." This isn't the first time she hasn't offered
the customary empathy. It's kind of unnerving to hear. She and I had a major
falling out when I was dating my last boyfriend. She really resented him and
that fact that I was spending time with him and not her, but she would never
admit this. Instead she would give me grief about not going to some event and
get other to give me grief too.

response 19 of 56:

Nov 8 20:34 UTC 1995

What?  I didn't do it... ;)

response 21 of 56:

Nov 9 20:25 UTC 1995

No, you're right, Anne, I was the moron in that particular  chain of events.
*grin*
Adania, sometimes I would agree with you, and I think the person I am
right now is a direct result of all my friends' friendly prodding...:)

response 23 of 56:

Nov 13 05:52 UTC 1995

*Melissa huggles Anne because she thinks the fighting is a good thing for
them to think about....because they will always be friends no matter what.*
*Melly huggles everyone*