response 1 of 160:

Jan 15 22:18 UTC 1995

You can, and if you do I think you're living in fantasy.
When we haven't actually met someone we can build up a lot of 'dreams'
about them that can be shattered when we finally meet them.
It's not a question of looks, it's a question of really KNOWING
someone in a way that is necessary for an intimate relationship.
I think you're on dangerous ground when you make major choices
based solely on words exchanged.  It's not enough.  Not in my
eyes.

response 3 of 160:

Jan 15 23:19 UTC 1995

I fell in love with someone on the net. Actually, just out of luck, one day,
a newbie chatted me. Annoyed, I went in, and we began talking. I came out 
maybe 5 hours later with someone who had like a million things in common 
with me, and was my age. She didn't live so far away either. ok, 50 miles, but
that's not so bad. And she was coming to ann arbor the next week. I decided to
meet her. After I met her, she sent me a letter about how much she liked me,
before I got a chance to send her a letter about how much I liked her. Rejec-
tion is a LOT easier on the net. But we decided that it was all good and began
seeing each other as much as we could which was maybe every other weekend,
which was fine with me. Then, things began to fall apart. The distance was
getting to both of us, and she had a real problem with...ohh...its a long
story. Anyway its over now, and I'm really very upset about it. The weirdest
thing is, it  was my first relationship ever. I'm not off to a good start.

response 5 of 160:

Jan 16 04:09 UTC 1995

We talked tonight, me and my ex. She told me she loved me, but that I was
just "infatuated" with her. That hurts. A lot...and because I really needed
to talk to her, I left another friend of mine to do so, and now, apparently,
my other friend wants nothing to do with me, though I tried to explain it to
my other friend...
Things can really be a pain in my ass sometimes (sorry about the swearing guys
but this happened all of 10 minutes ago, and I'm REALLY upset)

response 7 of 160:

Jan 16 06:01 UTC 1995

My feelings are, it causes lots of problems, and has made my life a living 
hell.
I want it to stop.

response 9 of 160:

Jan 16 16:21 UTC 1995

Through several tries at it in my younger years and other people's words, I 
have learned to shy away from the love handles of the internet. I dunno, it is
great for meeting people you otherwise wouldn't have, but sometimes I just 
think there is more to be said of a hug and a kiss given in person rather than
one over the good old putie because you're so far away that is the only way
you CAN hug...
However, internet friendships can be built strong enough to bridge gaps from
ocean to ocean....I just don't know about a relationship...

response 11 of 160:

Jan 16 20:00 UTC 1995

It could be a start, though... I wouldn't know anybody in Ann Arbor, were it
not for the InterNet, and I wouldn't know some of the people I know in my
own town if not for Grex.

response 13 of 160:

Jan 17 03:00 UTC 1995

What do you mean by "ended normally" when referring to a marriage?  Is the
normal end of a marriage something that has changed significantly in the
last few decades?

response 15 of 160:

Jan 17 04:25 UTC 1995

Distance in a relationship can be a big strain, as can differences.  My
only real relationship so far, a year and a half ago, was with somebody in
Canton, about 20 miles from Ann Arbor.  She didn't drive, and I didn't
have a car very often, so we were lucky to be able to see eachother even
once a week.  Moreover, although my parents were nice enough not to say
anything, her parents were beginning to hastle her about the long distance
phone bill.  And, looking back on it, I realize that we didn't even have
that much in common.  Needless to say, it didn't last that long.  I was
pretty devistated when she broke up with me, but with time I got over it. 
We even went through a period of being pretty good friends, before we sort
of gradually grew apart.  We still talk if we run into eachother, which
happens occasionally (we have some of the same friends), but I think we're
more aquantences than friends at this point.  I have very fond memories of
that relationship, not because I wish it were still going on, but because
it was a fun time and a great learning experience, and I think I'm a
better person because of it.

response 17 of 160:

Jan 18 21:01 UTC 1995

        Oh, you can fall in love on the net, all right. It can feel wonderful,
and it can be, emtionally, just what you and the other person need right then.
        Of course you can't let all that make you reckless. If you can't ever
feel comfortable with meeting your love, then you had better make that damn
clear, up front. I have always tried mt best to do this, and I will continue
to do so. Anything less is grossly unfair to your net-love.
        If any of you find this to be odd, I'm sorry, but this is an absolute
necessity for me. Better this than being deceptive about how far I will take
a net-based relationship.
        As for those who marry people they meet on the net, sight unssen...
I can think of nothing more careless, more ignorant that you can DO with
your love-life!

response 19 of 160:

Jan 19 01:53 UTC 1995

People fill in a lot of gaps when they're talking over a computer.
Sometimes you can make BIG jumps in reality.
Just out of curiousity... you'd think if a realtionship was getting 
truly serious you'd want to make plans to talk on the phone or eventually
meet.  If you don't a 'relationship' really just doesn't have any
meaning.

response 21 of 160:

Jan 22 00:17 UTC 1995

Word to your mother.

response 23 of 160:

Jan 23 14:54 UTC 1995

Don't worry Jack.  We still love you.
Have a nice day.