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Grex > Nature > #22: The Lawn Care Diary of "Doctor Straight" |  |
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remmers
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The Lawn Care Diary of "Doctor Straight"
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May 8 13:38 UTC 1992 |
I come from generations of farmers on my father's side. Perhaps that is
why, when spring arrives, when the birdies sing their blessed heads off
every morning, when the earth awakens from its months of slumber --
perhaps that is why the urge awakens in me at this season to go out, to
nurture my own small plot of ground. It is therefore appropriate, at
this same season, to renew a long tradition:
The Lawn Care Diary of "Doctor Straight"
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| 172 responses total. |
remmers
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response 1 of 172:
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May 8 13:39 UTC 1992 |
Two weekends ago, the first mowing of the lawn, close-cropped, almost
scalped. Next, an application of fertilizer with "Halts" crabgrass
inhibitor. (Crabgrass was bad last season, have to do something. Gotta
catch the crabgrass before it germinates -- timing of the application is
all-important. Do it while the forsythia trees are in yellow blossom,
before they start to drop their petals.)
Last weekend, another mowing, leaving it longer this time (2.5"),
followed a couple of days later by a ritual application of
GRANDMA PUTT'S SPRING LAWN TONIC
1 cup epsom salts
1 cup ammonia
1 cup Listerine (tm) mouthwash
1 cup liquid dish soap
1 cup beer
Mix well, pour into a hose-end sprayer, and apply over the entire lawn.
Your lawn will love you for it! (And of course, finish off the
remaining beer in the can yourself. Waste not, want not.)
The odor of Listerine (tm) hung over the neighborhood for hours.
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mistik
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response 2 of 172:
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May 8 18:27 UTC 1992 |
What does Listerine do, kill the parazite bugs while the grass is still weak?
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fes
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response 3 of 172:
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May 8 18:43 UTC 1992 |
It odorizes the neighborhood.
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mistik
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response 4 of 172:
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May 8 18:50 UTC 1992 |
:)
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remmers
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response 5 of 172:
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May 8 20:38 UTC 1992 |
Well, I'm not sure what the Listerine (tm) does. My guide in these
things, Jerry Baker's book _The Impatient Gardener_, isn't real strong
on reasons. Figures his readers are too impatient to put up with
them, I guess.
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keats
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response 6 of 172:
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May 8 21:12 UTC 1992 |
yeah, not the sort of folks to let any grass grow under their feet...
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chelsea
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response 7 of 172:
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May 9 15:08 UTC 1992 |
We have the only lawn in the neighborhood with a "head".
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popcorn
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response 8 of 172:
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May 11 03:31 UTC 1992 |
This response has been erased.
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craig
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response 9 of 172:
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May 11 05:40 UTC 1992 |
Grandma Puttered around the garden.
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fes
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response 10 of 172:
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May 11 15:58 UTC 1992 |
Having a lawn myself, I would like to know if remmers has actually tried this
stuff and what the results were. I don't like to use chemicals because the lawn
is usually inhabited by various children, dogs, and the like. Beer, listerine,
and whatnot, I think that they should be able to cope with.
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bad
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response 11 of 172:
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May 11 16:34 UTC 1992 |
Give your dog (or kid) a beer-and-Listerine cocktail!
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meg
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response 12 of 172:
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May 11 22:25 UTC 1992 |
I think remmers has been using it for some time.
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choke
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response 13 of 172:
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May 12 07:53 UTC 1992 |
Alcohol will stimulate seeds to germinate.
If you apply alcohol to an area before you plant seedlings, the weeds will
sprout and you can turn them under.
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remmers
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response 14 of 172:
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May 12 14:42 UTC 1992 |
Re 10, 12: Yep, this is my lawn care diary item, so everything
described I've actually done. The Grandma Putt tonic I've been using
for nearly 10 years. 'Course, I've never really done a controlled
scientific study of its effects, so I can't say I know for a fact
how much good it does. It probably wouldn't cut it as a *replacement*
for things like fertilizer; it's more of a supplement. And it doesn't
appear to do any harm.
Some will be disappointed to learn that I also use Weed-N-Feed
(fertilizer + herbicide) in sections of the lawn where the weeds are
particularly bad. My hope is that I can phase this out as the grass
builds up thickness that crowds out weeds. I think I'm mostly there
in a couple of sections of the lawn, but the rest still needs work.
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mta
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response 15 of 172:
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May 14 20:50 UTC 1992 |
I read recently about a woman who swears by her Geritol as plant food in
the garden. Says it does wonders for the plants and as an added bonus,
tastes/smells icky to small herbivorous beasties.
Dunno. That's what she said.
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danr
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response 16 of 172:
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May 15 22:34 UTC 1992 |
As far as commercial fertilizers go, I recommend Ringer Lawn Restore.
They claim it is environmentally sound, and it has made my neglected
lawn look better. The only drawback is that it's kind of expensive.
Target is selling 25 lbs (good for 2500 sq ft) for $17.
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remmers
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response 17 of 172:
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Jul 7 05:56 UTC 1992 |
Hmm, seems I've been neglecting this item. To continue my diary:
Since I last responded, I've given the lawn a couple more doses of
fertilizer and another Grandma Putt treatment. In addition, I
planted some new grass seed to try to fill in some bare patches
in the front yard.
Generally, I'm quite pleased with the results. The grass has come
in thick and healthy-looking, far better than last year (our first
year in this house). So far no crabgrass, so maybe the crabgrass
treatment in the spring has worked.
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remmers
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response 18 of 172:
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Aug 5 12:04 UTC 1992 |
There was a brief respite from the rain a few days ago, so I took
advantage of the opportunity to give the lawn its annual dose of
Grandma Putt's SUMMER Lawn Tonic. Actually, the only difference
between that and the spring tonic recipe is that it's heavier on
the beer and lighter on the liquid soap. So my lawn got treated
to two full cans of Miller's High Life. I hope it appreciated
it.
The treats I give it combined with the unusual quantity of rain
this year has resulted in the lawn growing like there was no
tomorrow. It needs to be mowed every three days at a time of year
when I can normally get by with once a week.
The next scheduled Putt treatment is the Fall Tonic, featuring
TOBACCO JUICE!
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remmers
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response 19 of 172:
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Aug 15 12:34 UTC 1992 |
I was looking at a recent photo of our front yard and one taken
early in the spring of 1991, when we'd been in the house only a
few months. The contrast is striking. Last year, the lawn was
light green, thin and scraggly-looking. This year, it's thick and
a deep green color. I guess this stuff actually works, although
the cool, wet weather we've been having has undoubtedly helped too.
It's now August and the grass is growing at spring rates of speed;
have to mow it twice a week.
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n8lic
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response 20 of 172:
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Aug 15 18:24 UTC 1992 |
Well, that's probably the only *good* use for Miller beer. UGH.
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keats
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response 21 of 172:
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Aug 15 19:58 UTC 1992 |
i understand it's also great for killing slugs.
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remmers
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response 22 of 172:
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May 12 23:14 UTC 1994 |
Well, the 1994 lawn care season has begun, so maybe it's time to
revive this item.
I've mowed a few times, given the lawn a dose of Milorganite (a.k.a.
"activated sewage sludge" -- the distilled waste products of the city
of Milwaukee) which has turned it a nice deep green and caused it to
grow faster as well.
The front yard has some bare spots which i'm attempting to patch with
grass seed, but otherwise it looks pretty good. The back is excessively
weedy, so it'll be Weed-B-Gone time soon.
I've gotten a bag of Ringer Lawn Restorer fertilzer per Dan R's
recommendation and will be trying that out. And soon it will be
time for Grandma Putt's Spring Grass Tonic.
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rcurl
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response 23 of 172:
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May 14 18:59 UTC 1994 |
I am going to give in to social pressure (none directly applied, but
implicit), and hit the lawn for the first time in five years with
toxic weed killer, to murder the dandelions, and poison everything
that walks on it for a few days, and contaminate the Huron River with
the run off. But, what's gotta be done, has gotta be done.....
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srw
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response 24 of 172:
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May 15 04:42 UTC 1994 |
Ah, to 2-4 D or not to 2-4 D, that is the question.
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