Turkey Trot

Nov 14 17:21 UTC 1992

 Since I'm too sick to go to the football game, it seems like it's a good
 opportunity for me to enter my guaranteed-no fail turkey recipe in time 
 for Thanksgiving, so here it is again.  Remember - make sure to read 
 the whole thing through at least once before you get started.  Also, this
 recipe includes instructions for stuffing and gravy, but the stuffing 
 recipe makes a LOT of stuffing, feel free to cut it down to size if you are
 feeding less than the National Guard of Michigan.

        TO BEGIN WITH:
        --------------
 
        If frozen, thaw 2-3 days in refrigerator (or on back porch, if it's   
        cold out and the dog is tied up.
 
        DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING:
        ------------------------
 
        Remove giblets (those gross looking things wrapped in paper, found
        inside the turkey, generally)  trim any fat and simmer giblets in
        good sized saucepan with celery *tops*, one medium or large onion
        (chopped), 1/2 bayleaf, 3-4 garlic cloves (minced).  Simmer at 
        *least* three hours.  Cool, strain it, saving the giblets ONLY.
        (Trash the veggies)  Refrigerate overnight.  Next day (Thanksgiving)
        remove and discard congealed fat.  Chop giblets and set aside.
        (all this except fat will go into gravy)

 
        THANKSGIVING DAY:
        -----------------
 
        *GET UP EARLY*
 
        Rinse bird thoroughly by flushing cold water through the breast cavity,
        and pat dry with a paper towel.  You *may* want to salt the cavity, 
        that's pretty much up to individual taste preferences.

        Stuff bird in stomach and breast cavities (not too tightly).  Close
        with turkey pins, string, glue, duct tape... whatever. ( :-)  )
        Rub *bottom* (of bird, that is) with soft butter.  Careful now,
        that sucker gets SLIPPERY!  Place breast (top) up on rack in a
        roaster.  Cover bird with cheesecloth or other clean, thin, white
        cloth, tucking in to cling to the bird all the way down.  Should be
        2-3 layers thick if cheesecloth, 1 layer if any other cloth.  Brush
        or pour about 1/4 to 1/3 cup of melted butter on bird through the
        cloth.
 
        Roast uncovered (except for cloth) @ 300 degrees - and allow 25
        minutes per pound.  (Or 20 minutes per pound @ 325 degrees, if you
        *must* hurry it)
 
        Baste with juices from pan every 30 minutes.  Do *NOT* remove cloth -
        this is what browns the turkey perfectly, but never too much, nor
        too dry.
 
        You can use a meat thermometer if desired (although not necessary)
        Stick in fleshiest part of the leg - NOT touching the bone.  Turkey
        should go to 180-185 degrees or so.
 
        REMOVE CLOTH  (this is important - cheesecloth is not at ALL
        good Thanksgiving fare, being rather tough and stringy)
 
        Remove to a big platter or pan and plan to let cooked bird "set"
        outside the oven for at *least* 20 minutes before carving.  This
        is the time to remove the stuffing.  Also is helpful to put any
        feline type observers in the basement, as they will likely be
        climbing up your legs at this point.
 
        MEANWHILE - IT'S GRAVY TIME
        --------------------------- 
 
        Pour all possible fat ONLY off pan drippings.  Save 3-4 tablespoons
        of fat.  Leave dark brown drippings in pan.
 
        Pour 3-4 cups of giblet broth (what you made yesterday) into pan
        drippings.  Heat to simmer on top of stove, stir and scrape well.
 
        Mix 3 tablespoons of fat, and 3 tablespoons of flour in large frying
        pan, bring to simmer, stirring constantly - cook 2-3 minutes until
        thickened.
 
        Gradually add broth/drippings liquied, stirring constantly.  This 
        will get VERY THICK at first, but keep adding & stirring to desired
        thickness (when broth/drippings are gone, use rest of giblet broth
        as needed)
 
        Check if needs additional salt or pepper (TASTE it first!) add the
        chopped giblets from yesterday and simmer on low about 5 minutes.
        Keep hot until served.
 
        Last, but never least - persuade some other poor slob to carve the
        turkey.
 
 
        NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT STUFFING
        -----------------------------
 
 
        Here is what you'll need:
 
        3 cups diced onion              3 cups diced celery
        1 1/2 cups melted butter        15-20 cups VERY DRY (stale)
                                         bread cubes - plain, white. **
        1 1/2 teaspoon salt             3/4 teaspoon pepper
        3 tablespoons Rubbed Sage       6 cups of chicken broth
                                               OR
                                        6 bouillon cubes mixed with
                                        6 cups of water
 
 
        NOTES:
        ------
 
        I cut up bread 2-3 days ahead of time and let it stand - tossing
        now and then.  The dryer the bread, the better the stuffing.
     
        ** Lately Pepperidge Farms and other companies have been packaging
           seasoned "stuffing bread cubes" - though it originally offended
           my sensibilities to purchase prepared bread cubes, I have tried
           them and found them to be very good.  You might want to go that
           route rather than drying your own.  In which case, 1 to 1 1/2
           large bag will do the trick.

        If you use bouillon cubes - DO NOT ADD ANY SALT!
 
        Saute onion, celery, seasonings in butter until tender, pour over
        bread cubes and toss.  Add broth/bouillon and toss lightly but
        thoroughly.  CHILL BEFORE STUFFING BIRD
 
        Bake any excess stuff separately, adding broth and/or pan drippings
        (if you STILL have any left over) to add flavor.
 

response 2 of 50:

Nov 14 23:11 UTC 1992

This is now agora item 65 and kitchen item 17.

response 4 of 50:

Nov 15 04:20 UTC 1992

   Yup.  Its begun, and what I consider to be a part of the electronic
version of the holidays has been entered.  This ranks about with watching
"The Bishop's Wife" each year.  Thanks, Meg.

response 6 of 50:

Nov 24 00:40 UTC 1992

For years now I have been cooking "the bird" breast side down so the fat from
the dark meat bastes the white meat and keeps it moist.  That, in addition
to buying a fresh, not frozen bird has resulted in superlative results.
Remember, its safer to cook the stuffing outside the bird and keep it there.
(Before it enters your abdominal cavity, that is.)

response 8 of 50:

Nov 24 05:39 UTC 1992

   Ya know, anything that can survive being in an oven for several
*hours* at 325+ degrees isn't going to be deterred much of anything.
Put the stuffing back in the bird.  It probably makes more sense to
remove the stuffing *after* its been cooked; that way you don't
have a cavity made of meat with another source of food for all the
little bacteria to munch on.  But not cook it in the bird?  No Way.

response 10 of 50:

Nov 24 16:14 UTC 1992

Re #8:  Yep.  *Cooking* it in the bird is okay, but remove it immediately
        the bird is done.

response 12 of 50:

Nov 25 02:59 UTC 1992

Exactly!
Ever notice how many days it takes a turkey to defrost?
It takes a long time for a turkey to get heated through, too.

response 14 of 50:

Nov 26 03:15 UTC 1992

My wife suggested that there might be a problem if the bird is not 
thoroughly washed out inside, before stuffing: salmonella, and all that.
Like Steve, though, I had never heard of anyone having a problem with
stuffing cooked inside. Just maybe, Steve, you *haven't* learned
something ;->.

response 16 of 50:

Nov 26 05:56 UTC 1992

Sure - I'm teaching it this term - what would you like to know? "You
press the first valve down, and the calories go around....."

response 18 of 50:

Nov 26 20:32 UTC 1992

I know it allright, all you need to explain is in simple terms, how the
temparature is distributed when you have a cold mass wrapped into layers of
other material that is 'suspended' in air.  Air supplies the heat.
It goes a long way to the center.

response 20 of 50:

Nov 26 21:07 UTC 1992

That will tell you when the inside is warmed up, OK, but not help it warm
up any faster.  (If I understand & remember, salmonella is OK if you get
it hot enough to actually kill the bacteria, whereas botulin bacteria
produce toxins that need a lot of heat & oxygen to destroy & hang around
even after the bacteria are long dead.  So both parts may be a problem.)

response 22 of 50:

Nov 27 00:13 UTC 1992

The stuffing doesn't even have to get half as hot as the oven to kill the
salmonella bacteria.  Your biggest salmonella problems come from
placing the cooked bird on the counter or dish where you prepared the
uncooked bird, without properly sanitizing it first.  (The counter or dish;
not the turkey. :)

Worries of botulism from turkey?  What do you do?  Let it sit out for a few
days?

response 24 of 50:

Nov 27 03:15 UTC 1992

   Thank you Rane--Grex is the only place on Earth where a discussion of
Turkey could reasonably include the mention of a Fourier Modulus.
 
    ;-)