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keesan
International humory Mark Unseen   Dec 1 16:01 UTC 2002

Use this item to post anything funny and international.
14 responses total.
keesan
response 1 of 14: Mark Unseen   Dec 1 16:08 UTC 2002

There is an English version of this message below the
Polish one. 



[MANY email addresses omitted, most Polish, some Belgian or German -
this one has really travelled]


> Subject: Fw: Podpiszcie sie pod tym!!!!!!!!!!
[Sign this!]

> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: Rafa3 Renner 
> To: Marek Wróblewski ; Kasia Wachowska ; Artur
> Kosatka 
> Sent: Thursday, November 28, 2002 8:16 PM
> Subject: PD: Podpiszcie sie pod tym!!!!!!!!!!
> 

[many more omitted email addresses, all Polish]
> Subject: Podpiszcie sie pod tym!!!!!!!!!!
> 

[still more email addresses omitted, mostly Polish - a lot of people liked
to be fooled]
>       Sent: Monday, November 25, 2002 11:08 PM
>       Subject: Fw: Podpiszcie
> sie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Another few email addresses omitted, Polish]
>       > Sent: Monday, November 25, 2002 8:59 AM
>       > Subject: Fw: Podpiszcie
> sie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[another page of email addresses omitted, one a Polish name in France]
>       > > Sent: Thursday, November 21, 2002 11:50 PM
>       > > Subject: Podpiszcie
> sie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Here is the Polish followed by a 'translation' to English and then the
Portuguese, which looks original.]

Bestialstwo

Blagam, dopiszcie sie do listy...
Moi Drodzy,

Znalazlam adresy na stronach "Koty Rasowe", pozwolilam sobie z nich
skorzystac aby powiadomic Was o tym co ludzie moga zrobic z kotami..... Ta
wiadomosc obiega w tej chwili caly swiat. 

[This Polish version mentions that the sender found the recipients'
addresses in a cat lover's magazine and hopes they don't mind receiving
this email.  The rest is a summary of what is in the Portuguese - with no
mention of Indonesia.]

Pewien Japonczyk z Nowego Jorku, hoduje i sprzedaje kotynazwane BONSAI
CATS i nie byloby w tym nic dziwnego gdyby..... kiedy sajeszcze kocietami
a ich kosci sa jeszcze bardzo elastyczne wklada je do bardzo ciasne
butelki (wykorzystuje rozne ksztalty, np bardzo plaskie, okragle jak
pilka,stozkowate itd), zamyka je tam na kilka miesiecy!!!!!!! podaje im
chemikalia, ktore maja na celu ueleastycznienie a wlasciwie wstepne
rozpuszczenie kosci......w czasie wzrostu wypelnia on butelke, kazda jej
szczeline..... Kocke po miesiacach przebywania w butelce nabiera jej
ksztaltu, nie jest w stanie sie poruszac...... jest po prostu wegetujaca
roslinka - ludzie kupuja je jako -DECORATION PET - czyli zwierzeta
ozdobne!!!!! i po prostu nieruchome np. stawiaja na kominku!!!!!!!! 

Na stronach do ktorych podaje adres znajdziecie wiele informacji na temat
tego bestialstwa - niektore zwierzeta sa kupowane i trzymane przez kilka
lat w tych slojach - karmione sa przez rurke, w odbyt montuje im sie tube
przez ktora si¿ zalatwiaja... 

 Nie wiem jakie wrazenie to wywiera na Panstwu, dla mnie to musi byc
powstrzymane, dlatego prosze o podpisanie sie pod lista (na samymdole) i
rozeslanie tego do wszystkich znajomych, ktorzy kochaja zwierzet. 


List ten zostanie przekazany do Organizacji Praw Zwierzat w Stanach
Zjednoczonych.

Ze szczegolna prosba zwracam sie do tych, ktorzy maja kontakty za granica
- rozeslijcie to (pod spodem ta wiadomosc jest w jezyku hiszpanskim i
angielskim - nie trzeba tlumaczyc). 

[I particularly appeal to those with foreign contacts to send this out -
you do not need to translate, it is already in Spanish and English.]
[The 'Spanish' happens to be Portuguese ;)]

Adres strony intenetowej hodowli BONSAI CAT - wszystkie informacje i
zdjecia (uwaga obejrzenie ich grozi szokiem) 


> http://www.bonsaikitten.com/bkmethod.html

Jezeli lista przekroczy 500 osob nalezy ja odeslac na adres: 

 > anacheca@hotmail.com

pozdrawiam i przepraszam ze z takim smutnym tematem i prosze nie
pozostancie bierni Magdalena Szymanska

[When the list gets to 500 names send it to anacheca - possibly the Polish
person who translated the above.]

To help the animals.

Hi, friends:  To anyone that feel some love or respect for any kind (form)
of life... 

There is a japanese man living in New York who sells "BONSAI CATS".  Looks
interesting, doesn't it? But there's something much more interesting! 

The guy put the kittens in glass bottle, put a probe in your anus, that
getout far a gap in the bottle to depense pee faeces. To make the kittens
bottle - shaped they are fed with chemistry to melt the bones, then he
keep the cats for the time that they can survive.They can't move, walk or
clean up. This cruelty is the last fashion in NYC, China, Indonesia, New
Zeland, because is a "decoration pet". If you want more information take a
look in this site : 

> http://www.bonsaikitten.com/bkmethod.html

and the babies into of a glass bottle in

>       > > > http://www.bonsaikitten.com/gray.html

and
>       > > > http://www.bonsaikitten.com/bnw.html

We are making a list to sent to Animals Protection Association in USA
and Mexico, and to TV news, to stop this.  

We are very thankfull to your help and we ask you to send this e-mail for
everybody that love cats and respect the LIFE, and that put your name in
the end of this list,and copy this e-mail in other one if in the list you
find more than 500 names, and, please , send a copy to
 anacheca@hotmail.com 

[For those who could not read the English, here it is in Portuguese,
possibly by a native speaker this time.]

Assunto: Em socorro aos animais Ol¿ amigos: A qualquer um que sinta amor
ou > respeito por qualquer forma de Vida...  Existe um japones em Nova
Iorque que vende "gatos bonsai".  Soa lindo, nao?  Mas ¿ qualquer coisa,
menos isso! O cara enfia gatos bebes em garrafas de vidro, coloca uma
sonda em seus anus, que sai por uma abertura na garrafa para desfazer-se
da urina e fezes.  Para que os gatos tomem a forma da garrafa, sao
alimentados com qu¿micos para amolecer-lhes os ossos, a¿ os mant¿m pelo
tempo que o gato aguentar sobreviver a tortura. Nao pode mover- se, nem
andar, nem limpar-se.  Crueldade que est¿ virando moda em Nova York,
China, Indon¿sia Nova Zel¿ndia, porque ¿ um "mascote enfeite". Se
quiserem mais informa¿oes, entrem no site: 

> > > > http://www.bonsaikitten.com 


Estamos fazendo um abaixo-assinado para envia- las a Sociedade Protetora
dos Animais nos Estados Unidos e M¿xico e aos notici¿rios, para evitar que
este abuso tenha continuidade.  Agradecemos seu interesse, pe¿o-lhes que
reenviem este e-mail para outras pessoas que amem os gatos ou que
respeitem a vida de qualquer ser vivo, que coloquem seu nome no final da
lista. E para que a lista continue legivel, pedimos que copie e cole em
um novo e-mail.  Se vc receber esta lista com + de 500 nomes, por
favor envoi uma c¿pia desta mensagem para: 

[191 signatures follow, from Mexico, Madrid, Venezuela, Chile (many),
Uruguay, Brasil, Puerto Rico, Denmark, and 138-190 are from Poland.
Number 191 is from a Polish friend living in the Detroit area, who wrote
again shortly after apologizing for mailing about 20 of us a hoax.
 
My guess is that someone in Poland translated the Portuguese to Polish. 
Amazing how many gullible cat lovers there are in Chile and Poland.]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

>       Patrz - tym pisza inni ... >>>>
> http://link.interia.pl/f1696 <<<< 

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jmsaul
response 2 of 14: Mark Unseen   Dec 1 17:10 UTC 2002

My god.
debayan1
response 3 of 14: Mark Unseen   Dec 30 00:48 UTC 2002

I dont think , its true.
jmsaul
response 4 of 14: Mark Unseen   Dec 30 01:53 UTC 2002

It's a well-known hoax/parody site.  There are a lot of people out there who
are naive and impassioned enough to take it seriously, though.  The people
who own the site have gotten serious death threats.
tsty
response 5 of 14: Mark Unseen   Jan 5 09:44 UTC 2003

i;m not going to go there after jmsaul's #2. 
jmsaul
response 6 of 14: Mark Unseen   Jan 5 15:17 UTC 2003

The "my god" meant "my god, people are still falling for this bullshit."
tsty
response 7 of 14: Mark Unseen   Jan 28 01:14 UTC 2003

which is precisely teh interpretatoin that generated #5, thankyousoverymuch.
jmsaul
response 8 of 14: Mark Unseen   Feb 5 17:54 UTC 2003

Got it.
debayan1
response 9 of 14: Mark Unseen   Jun 16 22:07 UTC 2003

The Bengali version followed by an English one:
Ekjan chhele Bus dhorte pareni tai raat katabar janna grame bari 
khujhte berholo, karan oi grame kono hotel nei.
Pratham bari:"Ektu thakte diben, aami bus miss korchhi?"
              " Na bhai,parum na, amago barite maiya aachhe"
Ditio bari: " na bhai parum na, amago barite maiya aachhe"
Tritio bari:Chhele,"apnago barite maiya aachhe?"
            barir karta," na nai, kan?"
            Chhele,"na raat-e shutam" :-)
English: A man missed the last connecting bus for his home town.It was 
a small village and no hotel was around.So he started searching a place 
to stay for the night.
He knocked a house and asked," Please allow me to stay here for this 
night.I missed last bus"
The owner," Nope,sorry. We have only one room and there are ladies 
inside"
Second house: same reply
Third house: the man asked," Do have any girl in your house?"
The owner," nope, but why are you asking such ridiculous question?"
The man," I want to sleep,tonight." :-)
polytarp
response 10 of 14: Mark Unseen   Jun 18 00:46 UTC 2003

AHAHAHA!!! THAT WAS FUNNY, POST MORE!
debayan1
response 11 of 14: Mark Unseen   Jun 22 16:10 UTC 2003

The horse cart drivers of ancient Dhaka (BANGLADESH)were famous for 
their wits.
Sawari,"Han go, sahare jaite kato niba?"
Tangawala,"dui ana, babu."
Sawari,"ki je kau,Ek ana koira to jaitam.Ta ek anate jaiba naki?"
Tanga,"ki je kan babu,apunar katha huina ghurao hastachhe."

Traveller,"hi,whats the fare for going to Dhaka downtown?"
driver,"2 pense"
Trav,"hey make it 1"
driver,"sir,even my horse is laughing to hear the fare."
jmsaul
response 12 of 14: Mark Unseen   Jun 23 12:05 UTC 2003

I've heard some good Sikh jokes too, but I can't remember them.
sholmes
response 13 of 14: Mark Unseen   Jun 26 06:49 UTC 2003

This one on a bus - frpm delhi to kurukshetra in haryana 
My friend to conductor - what time will we reach kurukshetra ?
Conductor - Look at the watch when you reach there.
debayan1
response 14 of 14: Mark Unseen   Jul 10 16:29 UTC 2003

Another one..
A sardarji was standing on the Imperial State building.Suddenly his 
watch fallen and everyone asked him to rush down as early as possible, 
sothat he may get it back.
But Sardarji was not in mood to run quick.
A Bengalee asked,"sardarjee make it quick"
Sardarjee,"No problem dada, my watch is running an hour late." 
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