response 1 of 78:

Mar 27 11:47 UTC 1996

Hm. Never thought about that. No, it doesn't bother me.

response 3 of 78:

Mar 28 22:20 UTC 1996

I have always wondered how it is on husbands who basically have no choice but
to sit and watch their wives scream in pain for hours. Some men have said they
just felt sorry for their wives, others said they would have done anything
to take the pain for her. I would think it's impossible to explain to someone
how painful it is (and i don't know myself, since I dpn't have kids). 

From what men have told me, they don't feel jealous that they can't have kids.
It's more that they'd like to know how it feels to be pregnant and have a life
moving around inside you. I'd like to know myself :)

response 5 of 78:

Mar 29 01:07 UTC 1996

I was with my wife for the births of both of our daughters.  Technically, the
men do not do much.  They act as "coach" and help keep on the routine for the
breathing, which I am sure is a help.  But the biggest thing is that we are
"there" and provide some contact during the process.  I can only imagine how
tough it would be, but it would be a lot tougher without anyone there with
you, devoted to your feelings.

response 7 of 78:

Mar 30 17:25 UTC 1996

Marry a man, beswing, who wants to be with you whenever you need or want him.
A man wo can tolerate his pain to help you with yours.  

response 9 of 78:

Mar 31 20:30 UTC 1996

Luckily, I married one.  One of my daughters found another in Seattle and is
planning to marry him next year.  There have to be a few more in between here
and there.  It sounds like there are even a few men with that potential right
here on Grex.

response 11 of 78:

Mar 31 20:38 UTC 1996

I agree Doc....My wife is my number one reason for living...my kids are number
two...It has to be that way....She is also my friend...

response 13 of 78:

Apr 1 01:45 UTC 1996

Yes you sound like you are making sense...I felt the same way when we had our
first child.  I was 19 and boy did that ever change things.  Let me tell ya
though sweetie, I wouldn't change any of that.....I love my children like my
life....

Let me try to explain what I menat by my wife being my most important or being
the most important person in my life.  First without her I wouldn't have
children....We are as one and therefore it is almost like caring for
myself...if that makes sense...She is my life...I would say though, that if
we were faced with starvation there would be no contest..We would both agree
that our children eat first....I hope that makes sense...It is really hard
for me to describe in words...

response 15 of 78:

Apr 6 09:50 UTC 1996

Let me throw a couple of cents in here...Marriage and parenthood is not
something that can be explained in a couple of words,nor can you convey the
true feelings that are experiencedfrom either one to someone that has not
experienced either one. It's not like a movie review where you can find out
the overview of the movie.
I'm going to steer clear of the marriage part because of my newly acquired
martial status...DIVORCED, but the kid stuff I can try and shed a little light
on. On a given day the bad just may outweigh the good, but being a parent
doesn't last for a day. When I see one of my little men exhibit a small
characteristic or trait that I posses, I swell with pride. I couldn't even
attempt to put into words the emotions that one experiences when your child
hands to you a handmade card that they personally crafted. Above all though
is hearing the laughter of children playing together, there isn't a sound on
the face of the earth that can duplicate that, nor will there ever be. One
must always remember that parenthood is not something to experiment with you
must be mentally or emotionally mature enough to put someone's elses needs
before your own.When we take a vacation the travel time may not be something
we look forward to, but the memories of the good times erase the suffering
of the bad....ramble,ramble,ramble. Any opinions,comments or suggestions?

response 17 of 78:

Apr 6 21:16 UTC 1996

Not everyone wants to have a child for obvious and good reasons.
Sometimes women want to have children because they feel that 
somehow makes them good women.  Also, it's often a way of 
attempting to bind a relationship that is very fragile.  It
can be a way of avoiding a competitive career.  It is often
an unconscious attempt to remake decisions you blew in your
own live by trying again through a child's.  Having a baby
gives you ownership of something very special and this is 
an intriguing option to powerless people.  And on, and on.

There are probably more children born for wrong reasons than
right reasons.  It's a miracle it works out as well as it does.

response 19 of 78:

Apr 7 05:35 UTC 1996

I know weird people, Valerie. :/ I only know of one couple that has divorced.
In my age bracket anyhoo.

I can see your point Mary. I see a lot of "power" hunger in parents, delighted
that they now have someone to tell what to wear, act like, and be like. My
father is a good example, although not to the point where it was sheer
dominance. I do know of one couple who had teh baby as a solution to the
marital problems. I suppose part of me would like kids later to not repeat
the mistakes my parents did...a as if it were guaranteed I wouldn't.

What baffles me is when I see people go to amazing lengths to have their own
babies (like the woman who had her fetus implanted in her mother's uterus).
And yet there's thousands of babies waiting to be adopted! Why is it that
people feel if it's not biologically theirs, it's not worth having? 

response 21 of 78:

Apr 7 16:49 UTC 1996

True. Rosie O'Donnelll adopted a baby boy last year, and frely admits she had
an easier time of adoption because she is Rosie O'Donnell. She didn't agre
that was fair, but admitted that's how it is. And it seems if a baby is not
white and healthy, it won't be adopted.

response 23 of 78:

Apr 7 18:08 UTC 1996

Rosie O'Donnell is a comedy actress.  She was in Exit to Eden, the Flint-
stones, and tht recent then & now movie, whose name I forget... other stuff,
too.  Oh yeah, Lethal Weapon III.  Her being Rosie O'Donnell obviously
carries a huge amount of clout, since the rumor mill is fairly convinced
she's gay, a *huge* black mark on adoption chances.