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love, hate, and indifference Mark Unseen   Feb 12 08:09 UTC 1998

   the other day, i got into a fascinating conversation about the range
of emotions people in relationships feel toward each other. one of the
points brought up in the discussion was that the opposite of love is
not hate but indifference, since hating someone implies that one still,
on some level, cares about what happens to the hated and is unwilling
to totally let go of the relationship. someone else in the discussion
said that these emotions are more like integers, with love being
positive, hate being negative, and indifference being zero. what are
your opinions?
11 responses total.
font
response 1 of 11: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 09:30 UTC 1998

I like *both* theories.  Perhaps it's like light, where it
can be both a particle and a wave?  (emotions being
irrational and disobeying the laws of science and all,
in this gooey contradictory way)
Great discussion...I can't wait to hear other people's 
oppinion!.

i
response 2 of 11: Mark Unseen   Feb 12 23:40 UTC 1998

You need to make it 2-dimensional thing - measure how much someone cares
about the other person on one axis (from wouldn't-notice-if-they-died to
total obsession) and nature of feeling on the other (from blind hatred to
worship).  Actually, emotions are more complex than that, if anyone's 
interested in mathematical psychology.
orinoco
response 3 of 11: Mark Unseen   Feb 13 04:11 UTC 1998

I think the Greeks had the right idea.  'Eros' is sexual love, 'Agape' is
admiration and/or love of God, and 'Philos' is friendship/emotional bond. 
So, it's possible to find someone sexually repulsive, emotionally highly
attractive, and neutral in terms of admiration, and there's _words_ for all
that :)  <the language geek sounds off>
brown
response 4 of 11: Mark Unseen   Feb 13 05:26 UTC 1998

makes my head hurt...   top o that reminds me of me and the gf's
last converation....
brighn
response 5 of 11: Mark Unseen   Feb 13 06:04 UTC 1998

The integer theory doesn't work, in my mind. I've hated people I didn't love,
and I've hated people I loved.
I've noticed that I hate people because:
(1) I love them and am unwilling to accept them on whatever terms
(2) I respect them and am unwilling to accept them on whatever terms
(3) I resent having to co-exist with them

But for hate to exist, there has to be the feeling that the person is
important on *some* level. Ditto for love. Indifference means the person isn't
important at all.
brown
response 6 of 11: Mark Unseen   Feb 13 19:21 UTC 1998

sounds good... ogt me thinking though... those I hate are those taht
are.were inportant to me... and damned if there are a shitload who i
just don't care about.. there's the indiffrence..
yet that alone can be such an evil word
brighn
response 7 of 11: Mark Unseen   Feb 13 21:24 UTC 1998

"This play I composed cannot be closed. I can't have that curtain fall. I am
as God made me, I'd rather you hate me than not matter at all." -- Andy
Prieboy
jazz
response 8 of 11: Mark Unseen   Feb 21 22:34 UTC 1998

        It's common for someone who has an investment in another person to
either love them or hate them - and it can swing very easily from one to
another - especially depending on how much in acceptance one is of the
person one has an investment in.
faile
response 9 of 11: Mark Unseen   Mar 18 23:30 UTC 1998

maybe it is like a histlry teacher I once had's theory on the political
spectrum--- he figured that after you got past a certian point on either side
(right being conservitive and left being liberal), things sort of bent around
andwound up being equal.... pure fasicisim and comunision in practice don't
look all that diffe3rent... maybe emotions are like that-- if youfeel
fanatically about another indiviual, no matter which, it takes teh same
energy, and gives you the same emotional stress... who knows....er, up there,
it should be "communisim"... whoops.
keesan
response 10 of 11: Mark Unseen   Mar 19 20:42 UTC 1998

I often type 3 for r, myself.  Wonder why.  
font
response 11 of 11: Mark Unseen   Mar 29 08:31 UTC 1998

<font ponders the symbolism>  :-)
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