Revelation or Experimentation?

Nov 3 23:19 UTC 1996

        <a little hesitant about being the 2nd item, but...>

        I'd like to impart a little story upon you all.  A little while ago,
I met a girl named Rebecca who's bi, and one night I fell asleep in her bed.
We both woke up sometimes in the very early morning and had an intense
discussion about things and life and such, and I ended up kissing her.  I'd
never kissed a girl before, but I think I've been attracted to a few in the
past...  Even though I'm not homophobic in the least, I find it a little
strange to be on the other end of things (having considered myself straight
all my life), and this is becoming a prominent question in my life-- *am* I
bi?  I'm obviously attracted to men (having a boyfriend (who I met on Grex
actually (; )).  But this is such a *new* thing for me...

        Any words of encouragement or advice?

response 2 of 86:

Nov 4 23:18 UTC 1996

Quite a few people who consider themselves straight have had same-sex
experiences (including my male ex-lover)... quite a few people (more,
proportionately) who consider themselves gay have had opposite-sex
experiences.
So I wouldn't say you're necessarily bi, but if you're interested in
exploring, or feel the need to, don't feel constrained not to.

(and now that erinn's broken the ice, maybe we can start getting some more
items around here =} )

response 4 of 86:

Nov 9 19:53 UTC 1996

Hm, I dunno that I'd feel persecuted if I declared myself bi (but then again,
look at where I am now and where I plan to be in ten years).... The
interesting thing about bi people is thgat sometimes when they have a run in
with a very homopphobic person, they're either treted like a freak or the fact
that they like their own sex as well as the opposite is simply overlooked.
(Agh, typos...)

response 6 of 86:

Nov 14 20:04 UTC 1996

You know what seems funny?  Years ago, if someone admitted they were gay or
bi, they usually felt guilty.  But nowadays, I feel guilty and horrible for
being straight.  It's almost as if bi or gay is the norm now, and that
straight people are evil, close-minded persons.  Understand?  ;-)  <birdy
ponders>  I'm still not objecting to a relationship with a woman because I
still *don't* know how I feel...but I'm simply LOTS more attracted to men.
I love women because they're hugging, sympathetic creatures who understand
me.  I love men because they provide security, warmth, protection, and make
me feel sexy.  The only difference is that with women, I don't feel the
intense sexual drive.  <shrug>

Erinn -- the key question is...did you *enjoy* the kiss?  That may provide
you with the answer to your question in #0.

response 8 of 86:

Nov 17 15:38 UTC 1996

*brighn DESPISES the moniker "Straight but not narrow" but notes that most
queers seem to appreciate it*
  
The purpose of the Kinsey scale (or the point of it, if not the purpose) is
that few people fall clearly under the "completely straight" or "completely
gay" label... most people have varying degrees of attraction to both genders,
and the question has been, how MUCH attraction do you need to have before
you're bi, or gay, or straight?

And that's in general a personal issue. Clearly someone who has never been
interested in a MOTOS (Opposite SEx) and has had dozens of relationships with
a MOTSS (Same Sex) would be hard pressed claiming to be straight, but beyond
the extremes, people are fairly free to label themselves as they please since
only they know where there attractions really lie.

response 10 of 86:

Nov 19 17:50 UTC 1996

There...I changed it.  Happy?  =)

response 12 of 86:

Nov 20 06:11 UTC 1996

Very accomodating of you, Birdlady.  You can call *me* pretty much anything
you want, though--especially since we seem to have pretty much similar
feelings about being straight, or whatever we are.  You queers can call me
anything you want, too--I just hope you are sympathetic to our loneliness
and feelings of inadequacy.  <This is written with a good-natured smile
about the delicious complexities of life.>

response 14 of 86:

Dec 13 18:05 UTC 1996

i think just because you liked the idea of the "first kiss" that you shouldn't
label your self as bi.  being a bi female in todays world is just as common
as having a beer with a pizza.  but i think that society
is pushing women to be bi.  but you should be what you want.  if your not sure
what that is, then take a step back and try to imagin yourself with a women
and not a man.  and then take it from there.  no matter what you realize, you
need to find yourself before you can awnser thath question.

response 16 of 86:

Dec 14 20:31 UTC 1996

I never drink beer with my pizza.  d=

response 18 of 86:

Dec 15 18:17 UTC 1996

I have no problem with being bi.....sometimes I think guys really do belong
in a seperate catagory from women (I hate it when ppl seperate girl-people
from boy-people...grrr...people are people, damn it)....esp. times like these
when I have suddenly gained three new guy friends who are as enigmatic as can
be....

response 20 of 86:

Dec 17 00:29 UTC 1996

Exactly.  I found myself doing that and thought, What a hypocrite, Erinn. 
I don't separate ppl into those catagories, but I guess in an effort to
understand how this enigmatic friend of mine wsas probably thinking, I wasn't
discounting the possibility of him looking at girl-ppl and boy-ppl....*shrug*
That probably made little to no sense....  arg.

response 22 of 86:

Mar 25 09:04 UTC 1997

whoa, this has been dead for a while...
but i agree with BOTH views, how can they both be right though??hmm
it is impossible not to separate people, and at time i think it is safe to
say we all ahve unconsciencly been one ....-ist or another.
on the other hand it is unfair to use stereotypes (guilty)
or to label poeple in general, I am a hater of labels period, but still cannot
seem to avoid using the myself....hehe life goes on.

response 24 of 86:

Mar 27 08:53 UTC 1997

        Stereotyping is a good survival skill - you have to be able to be very
wary of people in trench coats in dark alleys, and at the same time, be open
with your lover - though one might have your best interests at heart, and the
other not.  As long as it doesn't close your mind ...

        A good movie to watch is _Love and Human Remains_, one of the few
really good "Generation X" films about "Generation X" relationships and the
new complexities this era's brought about.  It features a psychic dominatrix,
a recently self-discovered gay cynic, a bisexual woman afraid to love anyone
but those who can't love her back, and a host of others.