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Grex > Glb > #16: The Nature of Attraction (as affected by gender) | |
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arianna
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The Nature of Attraction (as affected by gender)
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Sep 4 21:40 UTC 1997 |
At void's request/suggestion, I bring you resp. #68 from item 1 of
this cf:
#68 Zig-zagged(birdlady) on Fri Aug 29 01:36:09 1997:
Wow, Kristi...that's great! I've been feeling more and more sexual
feelings for women lately, but I guess I haven't found the "right one"
to experiment with. I've always found women sexy (who wouldn't?) ;-)
I just never really thought of it that deeply until recently. I love
men a lot, and can only picture myself dating a man for reasons that
simply deal with my nature, but that's nothing against women. I think
it has to do with being attracted to women and men for *different*
reasons. What do the rest of you think? Do you have the same feelings?
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| 61 responses total. |
arianna
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response 1 of 61:
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Sep 4 21:46 UTC 1997 |
For me, I'm attracted to individuals, personalities, etc. -- gender isn't
all that important in the light of someone's thoughts and feelings.
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mta
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response 2 of 61:
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Sep 5 00:26 UTC 1997 |
I too am attracted to very different things in men and women. The women
I fall for tend to have strong personalities and rounded bodies. The
men I fall for tend to be slender and cerebral. Both tend to be very
sensitive emotionally, though.
I worried about it for a while, but after a time I decided that it
was OK that thin women and fat men don't appeal to me physically. I
don't appeal to everyone, either.
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mta
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response 3 of 61:
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Sep 5 00:26 UTC 1997 |
This response has been erased.
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void
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response 4 of 61:
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Sep 5 16:10 UTC 1997 |
thanks, arianna. :)
from what my bi friends have told me, they are attracted to men and
women for different reasons. there's nothing wrong with some
experimentation to find out, either. one thing i have noticed is that
bi's tend to get flak from both the straight and gay communities, which
is something i've never been able to understand. i've always thought
that if bi's could have the best of both worlds, then more power to
'em. :)
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jazz
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response 5 of 61:
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Sep 6 12:07 UTC 1997 |
I'm of the opinion that all people are inherently potentially bisexual.
Not to say that this is, or can be, a conscious choice, any more than any of
the things that we are inherently posessed of the potential for - all of us
are potential artists, for instance, but it takes a lifetime of work to become
a good artist.
I'd even extend that to say that people are inherently potentially
capable of holding a relationship with both genders, though most of my
bisexual friends aren't, really, capable of holding a relationship with both
genders.
I don't know how much of this is what I call "Chasing Amy syndrome"
in honour of the Kevin Smith film, to where a person defines themselves as
straight, gay, or bi-, because their community and support defines them so,
and to change their orientation would be hazardous to their role in that
community.
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orinoco
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response 6 of 61:
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Sep 6 15:06 UTC 1997 |
I'd agree with you, arianna, that thoughts and feelings are more important,
but so is gender. It's just that for some people it's the primary
consideration, and for some it's just another factor.
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babozita
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response 7 of 61:
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Oct 1 23:11 UTC 1997 |
Personality is a wonderful thing, but a pair of great tits is a pair of great
tits...
(This comment can either be taken as extremely juvenile or entirely
self-actualized... take it as you please.)
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faile
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response 8 of 61:
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Oct 3 03:57 UTC 1997 |
(I hate to hear myeself say this, but...) The man does have a point
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omni
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response 9 of 61:
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Oct 5 18:21 UTC 1997 |
Amen!
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orinoco
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response 10 of 61:
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Oct 6 02:00 UTC 1997 |
Well, yes, but so is a set of great pecs a set of great pecs.
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babozita
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response 11 of 61:
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Oct 6 02:20 UTC 1997 |
agreed. My point was only that, as much as it's the noble thing to discuss
attraction to personality rather than physicality, physical beauty plays
amajor role in sexual and romantic attraction. Hopefully, not the only role
-- I'd be hard-pressed to have a long term relationship with the most
beautiful person in the world if there was no personality click -- but at the
same time, I'd be hard-pressed to have a long-term relationship with someone
who had the best personality in the world, but whom I found physically
repulsive.
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i
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response 12 of 61:
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Oct 6 11:38 UTC 1997 |
The "uglier" a person is, the more they improve as you get to know them.
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babozita
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response 13 of 61:
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Oct 6 20:08 UTC 1997 |
I'vehad that happen, and I've had the opposite happen.
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faile
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response 14 of 61:
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Oct 6 20:18 UTC 1997 |
I agree with 12...
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mta
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response 15 of 61:
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Oct 6 23:03 UTC 1997 |
It's always amazing to me how beautiful we as a species are. The only
things I find consistently repulsive are hatefulnesss and spite in the
soul and poor grooming of the body. Beyond that, I think I've found
just about every sort of person or looks attractive in its own way.
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i
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response 16 of 61:
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Oct 6 23:22 UTC 1997 |
Re: #13 - Yes, a physically attractive but personality repulsive person
will go the other way.
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orinoco
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response 17 of 61:
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Oct 8 00:35 UTC 1997 |
Well, there's a difference between not being _beautiful_ and being
_repulsive_. I agree that I'd be hard-pressed to be attracted to even the
most fascinating person if I found them truly repulsive, but there's really
nobody I can think of who I'd apply that word to. The fact is, I tend to find
'imperfections' just as attractive, in their own way, as traditional good
looks.
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i
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response 18 of 61:
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Oct 8 02:09 UTC 1997 |
Repulsive personality is far more common than repulsive physical appearance.
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brown
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response 19 of 61:
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Oct 8 06:01 UTC 1997 |
o.k. so I haven't been in bbs for a while :)
but upon reading this it is nice to know taht others share, and have
voiced the opinion that I have... i do beleive that ever person is
somewhat bi-sexual.. most tend to be on the extreme ends thogh... i
think of ender more-or-less as "one of those things" but actually i
find myself attracted to the same things in persons of either
gender... guess it is those qualities i look for and unlike most of
the north-woods hicks around here have dismissed gender to less of a
priority.
i also agree that people in my ( our in some cases ) situation get
hit from both sides. yes, staight people give me shit, and although
I'm in a small town where pretty much evert GLB person that
socalizes know each other i get ribbing from my freinds on that side
to( i'm just glad it is nothing serious)
my boyfriend is a horrible straight -basher, kinna makes it hard to
mention a -ahem' better than average looking female, like most
freinds don't wanna hear about the guys :)
hehe later
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birdlady
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response 20 of 61:
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Oct 9 04:36 UTC 1997 |
My friend David sums it up quite nicely...
"My kind of female is one that isn't repulsive and has a voice I'd be able
to love even at six a.m."
<g> Those are his standards...well, intelligence is in there too.
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brown
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response 21 of 61:
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Oct 9 05:54 UTC 1997 |
if ya can love *anything* @ 6am// hang onto it ;)
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orinoco
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response 22 of 61:
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Oct 9 21:13 UTC 1997 |
I dunno, brown, my girlfriend and I both point out cute guys to each other
and neither of us objects :)
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brown
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response 23 of 61:
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Oct 15 03:51 UTC 1997 |
well of course tis always fun... course ya can double the fun too.
Denise ( just a friend) and I guy/girl shop all the tyme ;)
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lumen
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response 24 of 61:
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Jan 9 03:33 UTC 1998 |
My idea? It depends. So much of feminity and masculinity is prescribed, and
then you see it mixed in the g/l/b community. I suppose there has got to be
a physical element of attraction-- I'm sure that's really what defines gay,
straight, and bisexual. Even then, a lot of signs of affection aren't seen
as sexually charged in other countries, i.e. guy friends may hold hands, hug,
kiss, without being bi or gay. So what's left? I suppose the question is
what is the difference of attraction to our friends from the attraction to
our lovers?
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